The Season So Far...
It might seem a bit early to review the current season, but Zoe Kingston has put this little gem together to provide a bit of light relief from the stress and strain of it all. Well, we here at BOING felt better for reading it anyway!
Coming soon: Sunderland v WBA: The Musical, Gary Megson's post-match interview in Operatic form and the Gospel according to Geoff Horsfield. Possibly.
West Bromwich Albion: Season 2003/2004
Our season started as bright as they come With six new players joining the scrum. We waved goodbye to a skipper of old As one Sean Gregan stepped up to the mould, Spirits were high, though away from the elite, Sadly our season started with a defeat. Bescot ? the venue for our first away day But it seemed like our team weren?t ready to play. As we kicked off in the August heat The line-up made fans twitch in their seat: Four new signings and Siggy in back Johnson and Koumas in with the pack Dichio and Hulse partners up front Surely this Albion would come up trumps? A 4 ? 1 defeat and a Koumas goal The Albion hordes crawled into a hole. So back into training, lessons were learnt Cause come Tuesday we wouldn?t get burnt...
Tuesday began our Carling Cup run Once we kicked off, Brentford hardly begun A goal from Bernt Haas and two from Rob Hulse Dobie to finish ? it quickened the pulse! After that day we were unbeaten in twelve A string of 1 ? 0?s released a pressure valve. Warnock?s revenge was oh so sweet When Albion lost in a 2 ? 0 defeat. The Canaries flapped and the Albion roared Jason Koumas settled the score. And then came the Carling Cup Third Round Where Newcastle were driven into the ground They scored an own goal, which gave us the lead Then Hughsey came on and made their hearts bleed. The Albion were crowned ?Giant Killers? that day But also remember it was a win away.
The following week was a Sunderland draw Then a trip down South ? we were destined to score. West Ham was one of those monumental games A day we put The Hammers to shame The first fifteen minutes we didn?t show up They?d netted three before that time was up! Few travelling fans bid farewell To what seemed to be the day-trip from hell! Then there sounded an almighty roar As our Hulsey went through to score. By the time the halfway whistle blew Hulsey had already brought back two. Defoe?s dismissal changed our luck The Hammers were left as sitting ducks. Minutes later they had scored again This time into their own pen. With an own goal, the score was tied Would the Albion just bide their time? Dobie came off and Hughsey came on Surely we wouldn?t score another one? As the 80th minute passed We saw ?The Ninja? of the past. James was beaten, not once, not twice But four times in just one night! Upton Park fell silent that day Apart from the Boinging Baggie Brigade.
After West Ham and the Carling Third Round They were ready to do the home fans proud. December saw the arrival of Sir Alex?s men Would we be crowned ?Giant Killers? again? A volley from Bernie in the first half Left Man. United on a stray path. The second half was backs to the walls When Gary decided to settle the scores. Dobes first touch was a glancing head That left Manchester United seeing red! So we were through to the Fifth Round When Arsene?s Army would come to town. A trip to Bradford and one from Crewe The Skipper saw the Albion through. When Arsenal arrived on the Tuesday night Megson?s men were ready to fight Ref. Jeff Winter had red in his sights Which proved to end Albion?s plights Out, we bowed, of the Carling Cup Was this the end of Albion?s luck? Saturday was another derby day With new striker Geoff Horsfield leading the way A mistake by Moore opened a hole That Coventry used for their single goal. Then Boxing Day proved to be The worst game in Megson?s history FA Cup dreams died in the Third Round As we travelled to Forest?s ground.
Walsall arrived at the Shrine on Friday When the Albion proved they didn?t just win away. Albion?s revenge was signed and sealed By a winning goal scored by Horsfield. Next on the cards was an away journey To the unknown battlefield of Burnley. Hulse hadn?t scored since that day in the East End His frustration was there from beginning to end. Burnley began with a load of missed chances And Rob Hulse was angered by May?s advances Minutes later our lead scorer was off The ?incompetent? referee had had enough. The inevitable happened with a goal scored by Blake That spawned from Chambers? single mistake. Albion morale stood good and strong As Horsfield scored in the wake of a song The cries went up: ?FEED THE HORSE!? Albion?s promotion was back on course.
However the party didn?t last long As we quickly realised something was wrong Hughes out for the count and Hulsey suspended Dobie was injured ? our strikeforce upended. The rest of the team was beginning to shape up Kinsella?s arrival bought us new luck. The midfield was strengthened and the back line gleamed With Big Dave?s return to a re-shaped team. In came Facey and Scooby Doo too Both here to prove they have a job to do Things went well when Watford came But Preston was altogether a different game Our Clean Sheet King was beaten by three There was a problem there, plain for all to see...
Eight months was the prognosis given at most The least was two weeks away from the posts Murphy stepped into Russell Hoult?s shoes Ireland?s Number One ? how could we loose? Remember the day we made Liverpool sick When Murphy denied Owen?s spot kick! Valentines Day welcomed Cardiff at home It was flowers and roses by mid-afternoon. Next was a trip to Bramall Lane To settle accounts from that game of shame.
The Battle of Bramall from our Promotion Season Saw Warnock cheat without any reason Two years on from the infamous day It seemed that Warnock hadn?t changed his way. Warnock?s men just could score It took an own goal from Big Darren Moore But it wasn?t defeat for the travellers yet As Big Darren Moore found United?s net! Warnock swore and the Albion cheered As our Great Dane headed us clear. The following week was our turn to host With our Number One back between the posts Rotherham gave us the run around A shock defeat at our home ground. The top of the table clash was no bore Even though 0 ? 0 was the score Huckerby was there ready to fight But our James Chambers was on him all night.
The Coventry game was a special day With three goalscorers leading the way Horsfield opened with a screaming strike Much to the Baggies fans delight Hulsey hadn?t scored in nineteen games It was about time he scored again His confidence lacked and he missed one goal But his second shot was the Rob Hulse of old! The Albion team were soaring like birds When Mark Kinsella netted our third The victory was sealed; the race was on As the Baggies entered the Final Furlong.
This season has seen players leaves and arrive New faces have helped keep spirits alive Appy retired and Roberts moved out But he wouldn?t leave without having a shout. Dichio departed for the New Den But not without slagging the morale of our men!
A journey to Crewe in front of the cameras Showed the pressure felt by those all around us The late kick-off gave us the advantage As we knew the Norwich were beaten by Cardiff The cameras went on and the goals went in Crewe opened the score; they were desperate to win The Albion refused to bow out of the crowd A.J went through to do the lads proud. The goals were level; the stakes were high, Enter The Ninja ? it was do or die. Ten minutes to go, we increased our work rate But it was a Lee Hughes strike that sealed our fate.
Wigan came to the Hawthorns on a Tuesday Night This time in a promotion fight A Baggies win would send the play-offs packing And prove our team was far from lacking. When we kicked off we went out for a war But this time it took a penalty to score. The atmosphere rocked as the stands sang loud The Albion fans did their team proud In the crowds stood a Captain of old Derek McInnes watched them going for gold. The ground fell silent with some words from Webb Bernie led with his hand instead of his head The penalty was given and the Albion roared: ?You should?ve stuck to Rugby, you?ve never scored? But despite all the jeers the penalty went in Some said Albion?s prospects were grim. Morale were still high and the team didn?t fade Who are you to silence the Baggies Brigade? That?s when it happened; Lee Hughes was through All you could see were white stripes and blue! The Keeper came out and down went Lee Hughes Their keeper was carded - we weren?t gonna loose. The Baggies fans cheered and were silent again As the realised what a state we were in Remember Balis ? Bradford ? Away! These were the murmurs heard straight away. Out fans sang loud as the penalty was struck Lee Hughes converted and changed Wigan?s luck! The Hawthorns exploded with songs filed with praise As it brought back memories of earlier days As the 90th minute ticked away It was a Central Defender that saved the day In the final minute the goal went in The Gaardsoe strike that gave us the win. Wigan were silent and their faces turned grim As they realised that Albion had stolen a win.
The club has changed over the past two years And much has been said over after-match beers The squad has grown both in talent and size So I bring some unsung heroes before your eyes Robbo?s arrival strengthened the squad A Natural Defender is a gift from the Gods His presence is felt by both players and fans An asset for the manager?s best-laid plans Next the partnership that makes the fans sing Lloyd Dyer and Robbo working the wing Dyer, the local lad with some pace Proving to us he?s up for the chase. Now for a player in teams new and old Our own Neil Clement breaking the mould On the pitch he?s full of that Baggies spirit Proving the Albion are in it, to win it Finally a mention to a man we all know Who?s shown the Albion the right way to go Sean Gregan always does his best to please Filling McInnes? shoes with relative ease.
So we look towards a return to the elite The fans all wanted a Premiership seat. So united we stand out on this ridge Looking towards Highbury and Stamford Bridge. We own no racehorse, or infamous Dutch But have a Great Dane who can do just as much The top flight is littered with goalscorers galore But we have the ?H-force? who are destined to score In 2001 our enemies arch Had gone past their best by the beginning of March This year our fans hope and pray This Albion side can hold out til May.
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