The Diary

25 October 2007: We Drop To Fourth As Dingles Beat Leek-Munchers 3-2

Not a very good night for Albion supporters (boo hoo!) I suppose, inasmuch as our intellectually-challenged chums from up the A41 somehow managed to beat Cardiff City 3-2 on their own cesspit, to go above us in the table. Thanks to the dismal fist they made of it on their own turf, we?re now in fourth spot in the table. Hell and dammit, the Taffs were winning at one stage ? so what the bloody hell went wrong there, then? On checking, it looks as though the Taffs contracted a bad case of Kightly; two goals, he managed, after the leek-munchers went ahead courtesy a Fowler penalty and a Hasselbaink effort.

I bet the locals must have really have loved that: given the notorious Neanderthal tendencies possessed by the vast majority of Cardiff aficionados, I was about to express the fond hope that supporters of the away side were fleet of foot ? until I remembered precisely who the away side were. Must have been quite interesting, in a criminological kind of way, to just stand there, in that car and coach park outside the ground, after the final whistle! After all, it does take one to truly know one.

As for the other game scheduled tonight, Bristol City versus Saints, that ended in a 2-1win for the wurzel manglers. That put them into our former second slot, three points clear of us, and a point better than our gold-and-cack local rivals, so the 1-2-3-4 of the table now reads: 1. Watford, runaway leaders, with 29 points, courtesy of the total stonking they gave cash-strapped Coventry City last night: 2. Bristol City, on 23: 3. The Dingles on 21: 4. We happy band of brothers, on 20, and jointly in possession of that particular bit of real estate.

But there is one cheering note to report, as one day departs, gliding almost imperceptibly into the ink-black next: our second string won 6-1 at Oldham. Yippee! Do that next Monday night, versus the Dingles, and you?ll make me a very happy Baggie indeed, lads. The gory details? Roman Bednar got a hat-trick, Chappy got two, and Shergar another. So comprehensive was the rout, Oldham found themselves four down by half-time. It must be the ?trickle down effect? of the Mogga influence behind all this goalmouth largesse: over the course of the last few weeks, we seem to have taken an awful lot of sides to the cleaners. At least you can?t call reserve fixtures ?boring? any longer!

Tonight, we both shifted ourselves down to sunny Kiddy, and their well-appointed cricket club, to hear what SuperBob had to say about life, post-Baggies dressing-room banter ? but the biggest giggle of the night wasn?t anything said by our former goal ace, dryly humoured as he is. Nope ? you can?t pin this one on Supes: even he can?t contrive to get former Baggies gaffer Gary Megson shifted from underachieving Championship side Leicester City to Premiership Bolton Wanderers within a scant seven weeks of having agreed to take the Leicester job. Because Meggo hadn?t yet signed a formal contract with Leicester, that provided Bolton with the break they needed to pounce like a dive-bomber in the direction of our ginger-headed former gaffer. As I understood it tonight, ?300,000 went Leicester?s way to compensate them for their loss, so now he?s King Of The Reebok.

According to Wednesday?s Mirror, both chairmen involved, Milan Mandaric for Leicester and Phil Gartside for The Trotters, are currently involved in a heated exchange over the whole sorry affair, and for the usual reasons when a manager suddenly opts to shift his carcass to a new club. All sorts of dark rumours are currently whanging around, involving both clubs, too. Again in today?s Mirror, it was reported that Graham Souness, one of the front-runners tipped to get the job, pulled out yesterday, citing the fact that he ?could not believe? that Meggo?s agent, Mark Curtis, was actually sitting in on the interview, and later suggested that the whole thing was a ?done deal? anyway, irrespective of the actual quality of the others short-listed for interview.

As the whole sorry affair gets even more acrimonious, think of our current chairman, who must be rolling around the floor, giggling hysterically, by now. And I know precisely what he?s thinking about, too: Meggo not having made a success of the top flight, even after two goes at it with the same outfit, for starters. Then, the way he tends to handle players is fast becoming an issue, I would say. There?s a lot you can get away with when leading players of Championship stature to The Promised Land, of course, but once you cross the divide that sunders ?the posh end? from the rest of the plebs, you have to change your entire man-management mindset completely and utterly.

It?s dead easy to bully na?ve youngsters into conforming to your wishes at that level, of course, but once with the Prem, certain aspects of player-manager issues then become markedly different, rather more sophisticated, even.. One thing?s for sure: at that level, you can?t expect to treat a lad getting sums in the region of ?20-30,000 a week in precisely the same manner as those brethren less endowed with telephone number salaries. The first sign of bile or sarcasm aimed in their direction, and those of temperamental talent will be gone quicker than you can say Nicholas Anelka.

Sam Allardyce came from the same managerial stock as Megson, but once he found himself managing Bolton in the Prem, he finally managed to get his act together, subsequently making his crossing of the divide an enormous success. By hitching their wagon to Meggo, the message for the nation must be that Notlob, never really noted for the scintillating, captivating quality of their football, will now be resorting to ultra-dull, safety-first attitudes in lieu of genuinely-entertaining League success. I wish them well.

But back to tonight, and the Kiddy Branch meeting we attended, with Supes as principal guest. As per usual, he was his entertaining self, but tonight saw him at his most thoughtful and honest, holding forth with various opinions and views about just about everything connected with the game, these days.

Subjects covered included the following: what he?s doing now, i.e. various bits of PR work, and attending Albion?s Football In the Community programme with a view towards getting his coaching badges through helping out at sessions organised by the club as part of their scheme to help pull underachieving and disaffected teenagers away from less savoury influences, and towards leisure-time activities of a more positive nature. (From what Bob said, the scheme appears quite a success, with 75 per cent of local youngsters referred to the unit completing the course.) Bob?s motivation? ?The game?s been good to me, so I want to do this to put something back?..?

There was also an illuminating account of the time he went to Featherstone Prison, just outside Wolverhampton, as part of an Albion All Stars side pitched against a prison eleven, the game organised by Lee Hughes when he was there. All the security measures in place there certainly left an impression on Bob, as did the sight of one of the opposition when they swopped shirts at the end of the game: a torso pock-marked with the entry scars of several bullet wounds, with livid evidence of more than one close encounter with knives and blades chucked in for good measure!

The former Baggie lad also spoke wryly about Gary Megson, Bobby Gould, and the circumstances surrounding his move from Bristol City to Albion (it didn?t help that one of his parents was very ill at that time), the way fellow Geordie Gary Robson put himself out to make Bob feel welcome at the club on arrival, his generosity including the offer of lodgings at Gary?s place to save the lad having to endure a long and costly commute between here and Bristol.

Hilarity also about Wembley, 1993, and the circumstances surrounding the dismissal of Port Vale player Peter Swan for hacking Bob down just as he was through and about to pull the trigger, and the fact that poor Bob had to speak to Swan?s missus and family at the get-together after the game! Bob still regards Ossie Ardiles as the best manager he?s ever worked for. Training was a positive pleasure for him, the secret being that Ossie never quite took his role as manager seriously, much to the fury of his number two, Keith Burkinshaw, a much more straightlaced kind of bloke.

Apparently, it was quite common to find Ossie in the dressing room after a training session, spread across one of the benches, cup of tea in hand, and simply having a laugh with his players. His philosophy was a scoring one: ?if they score four, then we have to score five to win?.?, and one of his talents was to make every single one of his players feel comfortable on the ball, the results of which could be seen on the pitch every Saturday. Bob also mentioned the striking partnership he had with Andy Hunt who, he thought, came to our place on the strength of Ossie being manager: when a Newcastle youngster, Ossie had been in charge there, as well.

Winston Churchill once described a particular Communist country as ?a mystery wrapped within an enigma? ? and that?s a description that could be equally applied to Igor Balis, penalty hero of our ?must-win? game at Bradford, 2002. Apparently, so reclusive was the lad ? the fact he couldn?t speak a word of English didn?t help either ? no-one really knew anything about him. He wasn?t one of those people that are natural ?life and soul of the party? material, simply sitting quietly in the dressing room, or wherever, and not contributing to discussions.

Of all the Albion players around that time, Bob reckoned Igor was the most unknowable. As for his private life, that was a complete mystery to his team-mates too, the guy simply melting away after training was completed for the day. But I do know one thing they didn?t! According to my sister, the Balis family lived in a very modest semi situated in a bog-standard private estate situated about a mile and a half from where she currently lives (the Baggie lad?s residence was located on the Bustleholme Mill Estate, for the benefit of those West Bromwich residents - or former residents - reading this.) That austerity of manner must explain the fact that Megson only found out that Igor was a penalty-taker for his country after he?d put away the Bradford game-clincher!

It would seem that Bob is still fondly remembered at Bolton: only the other week, he attended a ?Ten Years At The Reebok? function there, which involved, among other things, coming onto the pitch at half-time, and getting the applause of the supporters ? oh, and another thing. When Bolton people saw the way our supporters still clapped and cheered him at the final whistle of our game with them, even after Bob had put away one himself, they simply could not believe it.

Something that really had my tickle buds going was Bob?s impromptu ?anatomy demonstration? when asked by one supporter how many times he?d broken bones, etc. Patting each limb in turn, feet, calves, thighs, arms, torso, etc. the running commentary went something on the lines of: ?Now let me see: I?ve broken me foot, that hand, me rib once, me shoulder, me hand, had a finger dislocated (and yep, the finger in question still hung in a dodgy sort of way!), done me knees??? Blimey, the bloke was a walking medical dictionary: so many times had he cultivated acquaintanceship with either the surgeon?s knife, or plaster cast, even he couldn?t quite get the final tally right!

As ever, Bob was well worth the fag of driving all that distance to Kiddy, but there was a serious aspect to his visit. On the 15th of November, there will be a Steven Hayden Memorial Dinner, at the ground, in aid of Cure Leukaemia. Lots of prominent local personalities will be attending this ?do?, hosted by Capital?s Tom Ross, one being Adrian Chiles, as you might expect.

Now for the nice bit: remember the Crystal Palace home game, back in 2002? Yeah, I know, how could we ever forget it? The thing is, though, after the final whistle, and the lads all doing their celebratory thing on the pitch, Bob draped himself with a flag, the legend of which bore the message ?We?re Going Up!? Very much photographed, it was too, so, the day afterwards, Bob asked all the side that played in that game to autograph it as a memento of the day no Baggie in their right mind will ever forget. And that?s what?s going up for auction, courtesy Bob, who is very keen to see that some serious money changes hands in a good cause for this item. Anyone wanting to know more, get in contact with either Alan Cleverley of WBASC (they do have a website, by the way), or contact The Haydens themselves. Any probs, mail me, and I?ll do the rest.

And so we turn, now, to a brief look at last night?s doings. It?s a bit worrying to read that Jonathan Greening is psychic! How come? Well, he predicted Morrison?s winning goal, according to the Express And Dingle! Blimey, do you reckon he?d come and give my Lottery numbers the once-over, then?

For all that, though, we were a lack-lustre outfit, and very short on confidence, which wasn?t too surprising, I suppose. But what did worry me was Robbo ? just what was he doing going so far forward during the second half, and taking so long to track back after Blackpool won the ball back ? which happened on far too many occasions for comfort?

Come to think about it, what was going on in Alby?s head last night, getting nutmegged like that and letting Blackpool in for their equaliser? Once more, our defence went sleepy-byes at a crucial moment, and it?s a very worrying trend. After we lost to Derby, Mogga had indicated that was one of the areas that needed serious attention paid to it, but a quarter of a season further down the line, we?re still getting punished for the same elementary defensive boobs. And we still retain our massive Achilles heel ? a distinct antipathy towards successfully defending set-pieces of any description. It?s fast becoming a Baggies hoodoo. Sort it ? and quick!

What did help make a difference was the introduction of fresh legs (fresh thought processes?) as the second half ran its appointed course. Once Shergar, Koren and Gera started strutting their stuff out there, you could almost smell the difference, and for the first time in the game, Blackpool started getting worried: we were actually hurting them, at long last.

As for the opener, once more, Ishmael Miller demonstrated what a class act he is, expertly placing the ball ?twixt diving keeper and left hand post, a goal worthy of any Baggies striker, past, present, indifferent, you care to mention. Hanging on to him come the close of hostilities will be a pretty hard task, as you can bet your sweet bippee that more than a few Premiership outfits will be plying him with blandishments sufficiently tempting to make him consider a future career with them, not us.

Still, we grabbed the points with both hands, come the 78th minute, and that Morrison Exocet of a winning goal. I suppose the hallmark of a truly great promotion (or anything-winning!) side is its ability to win when playing like a bag of rotten spuds: as for those gutsy Blackpool supporters, not only were they subjected to mega-decibel drum-beats calculated to produce intractable industrial deafness over the space of a single season (the eardrum damage being perpetrated by their own people, would that count as another example of a ?friendly fire incident, I wonder?), they also got mugged late on in the game! Typical, that: a crime is committed, but there?s never a copper around when you most need one!

And upon that little note, I?ll close until Friday night. But before I do, here?s another couple of observations about Life, The Baggiverse and Everything.

JUST WHEN YOU THOUGHT IT WAS SAFE TO LEAVE THE CAR-PARK?.

When we arrived at the Kiddy venue tonight (their cricket club, just in case you didn?t know), already there was Supes, awaiting the arrival of Alan Cleverly. As luck would have it, we were walking slowly towards the cricket club building when Alan chose that precise time to show up in his vehicle. Just as a joke, I turned round to ?Im Indoors and said: ?I?ll bet you anything Alan wears his hat even in his car!? ? and, blow me down dead, he genuinely DOES! Even better, Alan actually reckons he?s got a ?Sunday best? number, too!

Once inside, we started nattering to a chap there, and along the way, he expressed great admiration for the side Blackpool had put together on the cheap, their most expensive purchase being the lad Vernon, a snip at only ?300K. ??But I?d definitely ban the bloke with the flamin? drum!? And so do half the ground all concur, mate! Once they?d finally managed to work out what it was you were saying before the awful ringing in their ears stopped, of course.

OH ? AND ANOTHER THING! Good to see the sight I witnessed when waking down Halfords Lane, after the final whistle, last night. A young lad, couldn?t have been any older than around thirteen or fourteen, wearing a replica shirt. Nothing particularly unusual about that, of course ? and you?d be dead right, normally ? but the legend on the back of his shirt certainly wasn?t usual for someone of those tender years. Come on, how many kids do you know with ?ASTLE 9? writ large on the backs of their holy garments? Looks as though there?s one granddad worked very hard on that lad, and, more gratifying still, looks as though there?s one lad who drank in every single cotton? pickin? word of it, as well!

 - Glynis Wright

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