The Diary

02 May 2003: Sweet Tidings For Bob At Sela!

Before I commence my nightly offering, a little treat for some of you. I've incorporated a picture of The Old Fart and myself presenting a cheque for over 500 quid to Bob Taylor today as part of his Testimonial fundraising bash - the money comes from the sale of those scrummy bon-bons we sold earlier in the season. Apologies to those who get this in cut-and paste format, as I'm unable to incorporate my pic, but that's precisely what we did do, along with Keith Wibberley (the lad who helped us flog the things outside the Police Post, pre-match), and James Roberts of Sela Sweets; he's the very nice man who arranged for the manufacture of these delicious sweetmeats in the first place, and it's fair to say the whole venture wouldn't have happened at all without his valuable input. The occasion was also recorded for posterity by a bloke from the 'Express And Star', so the results should be hitting the news-stands tomorrow, when we're all at Blackburn, thank goodness?

Actually, today was also a splendid opportunity to have a good old natter with Bob, as we rarely see him on matchdays, and only manage snatched conversations when he does the rounds of the supporters' club branches for his testimonial fund-raising thing. I'm pleased to say there is one good bit of news for tomorrow. Cinderella Bob will be going to the ball - erm, sorry - game! Not in Albion's equivalent of Prince Charming's carriage, with the rest of the players, but in the good company of our own followers, courtesy of the coach transport WBASC runs from the Throstle Club! And nary a white mouse, glass slipper, or pumpkin in sight, thank goodness. Not only that, but I'm given to understand Bob will be wearing a referee's outfit at Ewood Park tomorrow, just like the rest of us! I've asked him to pop over to our selling-point not far from the coach park at the ground, if he gets the chance to do so, as this is something I really want to get on film for next season's first 'Dick', and he seems well up for it, so fingers crossed.

Incidentally, as it's so close to the end of Bob's time with us, effectively, he's now 'excused training', in best Army fashion; his only remaining obligation to us is to report to the ground on the day of the Newcastle game. I'm quite sure that Bob will appreciate the extra time this gives him with his family. We also took the opportunity of talking to Supes about the youngsters; as he'd trained and played competitive games with them on a regular basis for most of the current season, he was in a pretty good position to assess their capabilities. Bob was in total agreement with us about giving youth a chance. Like us, he was impressed with our kids, young Simon Brown especially, and opined he could be a world-beater, given his chance to shine, but without that vital break, who was going to know? And, talking about the kids, in the near future, Bob hopes to pass his coaching badge, which will qualify him to reserve-team level training sessions; should he wish to go in for management and/or coaching in a big way, he'll need UEFA qualifications, which are a lot more intellectually-demanding, as you have to study tactics, etc., but from the way he was talking, I get the impression that's the way Supes wants to go once he's hung up his boots for good.

Returning to first-team matters once more, it's now time to have a quick look at what we have in the way of players for tomorrow's end-of-season thrash. The good news? Siggi's back from Iceland, not the frozen food emporium, the country. The bad? Yep, you've guessed it, he's doubtful for tomorrow! The problem's a knock sustained while playing for his native country earlier in the week, apparently. At the rate we're going, with all these injuries to various players, I bet Nick Worth's cussing cock-eyed right now that when he originally negotiated the deal with the club, he neglected to incorporate a piecework rate clause into his contract! As most of the problems centre around our defenders, I really dread to think what we'll put out tomorrow, but then again, as the game's essentially meaningless for us (but not to Blackburn, as they still harbour European ambitions), we could play the club cat at the back, and it really wouldn't matter diddly-squat to us.

Perhaps it's better to begin by stating what we don't have! Gilly and Big Dave are well and truly out of it, of course, and Siggy's doubtful. Greegs? Er, maybe, although I do have my personal doubts about that one, as well. This leaves Wally Wallwork in the middle, Clem on the left, and, if fit, Greegs on the right, though gawd knows what our gaffer will do if he ain't. I also assume Igor and Ify will be in their normal slots, as will AJ, Del Boy, and Scouse Jase. Up front, unless one or another of the combo have been snatched by aliens, or something, we'll go with the Jase and Deech Duo once more, and, assuming he's sound in both wind and limb again, Hughsie on the bench. The additional question is, will Meggo persist with the soon-to-be-gone Dessie Lyttle as understudy, or will he break the habit of a lifetime by - shock, horror! - giving one of the kids a taste of life at senior level? Hmmmmm?

And finally.. One. This is the first of two snippets concerning tomorrow's game. According to the club website, there will now be 300 extra tickets available to our lot tomorrow, but if you want one, you'll have to get your nose in the trough pretty quick as they'll be lapped up like gravy, so get to Ewood Park early if you lack that vital bit of paper and want to be in on the fun.

Two.. As some of you may know already, The Old Fart guested on Franksy's Radio WM show tonight. While he was there, a caller told him about the Wulves fan who doubles as a ref, who very nobly donated his shirt to a Baggie to wear at tomorrow's game - the match-offcial's one, not its Dingle counterpart, I hasten to add! Incidentally, if you're still short of whistlers' apparel tomorrow, I'm given to understand, via the Fart, that Sportswear, a shop in West Brom High Street, have some ref's shirts still remaining above and beyond the 150 they've already flogged to Graham Poll impersonators. They have a further 50 still up for grabs and they cost ?6, I'm told, so again, it's a case of getting in quick before you travel..

Three.. Yet another gem concerning our well-matured co-editor! While taking calls on the aforementioned phone-in, a rather ancient Villa supporter came on the line, and very quickly, as these things do, the conversation somehow steered around to that 'Stanley Matthews' Cup Final, the one in the early fifties where the great man got a hat-trick. Did Terry go, asked the Seal-loving enquirer. Nope, replied our hero, as he was doing his National Service in Hong Kong around that time. At that point in the conversation, naughty Franksy quickly interjected, conjuring up images of droves of elderly Chinese ladies still tearfully clutching fading black-and-white photos of The Fart in his youth, Lee Enfield rifle in hand, and wearing a Baggies shirt in lieu of the Queen's uniform! Suffice to say, the bloke driving the car immediately behind us is probably still wondering why, at that precise moment, The Dickmobile nearly swerved off the road and into the embankment!

 - Glynis Wright

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