The Diary

13 February 2007: With Fixture Congestion Looming, What Will Give Express Relief?

?Do you feel lucky, punk?? Horribly familiar, that Clint Eastwood catchphrase-cum-quote from ?Dirty Harry?, isn?t it? Well, it certainly was just two or three decades ago: at one point, even southwards global flight in the general direction of an Antarctic research station wouldn?t necessarily guarantee immunity from someone letting those immortal words escape their lips, sooner rather than later. For all that, though, be it done to death or otherwise, the phrase still has a certain resonance, not to mention relevance, for the modern-day Baggie. Over the course of the next few weeks, we could well be asking ourselves that very same question. Luck? We?re going to need the stuff in heaps very soon, and it?s not all that difficult to see the reason why.

As a US-based Baggie might have commented, just a couple of Presidential elections ago, ?It?s the fixtures, stupid?? Horrible, just horrible, they are. Starting with tomorrow night, we head off in the direction of Layer Road, and it doesn?t need the psychic abilities of Mystic Mog(ga?) to make one realise that this is going to be a pretty tough nut to crack indeed.

Last Saturday, Colchester took poor Barnsley completely apart to the tune of a three-goal winning margin, right in front of their own admirers: I?ve no doubt whatsoever the Oakwell faithful were shook to the core by what they saw. The U?s have also managed to turn over quite a few of the current top six at their place thus far, Preston being one of their most recent (and prestigious) scalps: looking back further still, their other home conquests include a 4-3 thriller versus Derby; a brace to send Southampton packing (for me, the most impressive of the entire lot, having only recently seen with my own eyes just how good Saints are away from home); and they also held Blues to a 1-1 not so long ago.

So there you go. A whole heap of good reasons why they?re currently knocking on the door of the very same top six, and clamouring loudly to get in when the time comes for it to really matter, if you get my drift. Mind you, I don?t know if it?s an ingrained snobbish tendency on my part making me grossly underestimate the capabilities of clubs such as Colchester, but my mind?s still boggling furiously at the thought of them being in the Prem, next season. Come on, it?s an awfully big lump of fatty gristle to have to swallow in one complete go, isn?t it? But back to the Baggies. After tomorrow, we face either Bristol City or Middlesbrough in the fifth round of the Cup, our destination this coming weekend being settled on the same night we play Colchester. As I understand it, Albion will be pushing out tickets on Wednesday, irrespective of who emerges victorious from the Robins-Smog Monsters tryst. If it?s Boro, then we?ll get just shy of 5,000 tickets, so grabbing one wouldn?t be a problem: if City emerge triumphant, however, we?re looking at just shy of 3,000. Having said all that, it wouldn?t surprise me at all to see City giving us more than the amount they?re obliged to give us, should that sort of demand exist.

A week tomorrow, we then return to the multitudinous trials and tribulations of Championship football, with Cardiff the visitors to The Shrine. They?ve gone backwards to some extent since the festive season, and now lurk just outside the charmed circle, which, on its own, is quite a damn good reason for stopping their tap while we can. (Their dreadful followers are another issue entirely: the sooner they link up with the likes of the Dingles, on the well-known principle that like attracts like, the better, as far as I?m concerned.)

Not what you?d term a fascinating encounter, really, but it?s scores on the doors we want: whether we go into this one as recent sixth round qualifiers or not, I wouldn?t like to say. Progress that far would throw up a whole heap of additional problems for Mogga and his merry men, not least one of having to staunch nosebleeds innumerable! And after that? Oh, yummie ? it?s off to the Giant Crisp Packet, to do battle with Leicester, who haven?t exactly been having a nice time of it in the League, recently.

They?re currently in 17th place, around five points clear of the real strugglers, and no doubt seriously desirous of wanting to avoid getting sucked into the maelstrom below. That means they?ll be desperate, and desperate sides do have this habit of kicking great lumps out of everything that moves, then asking questions later, don?t they? See you in the Salt And Vinegar Flavour Stand? Just seven days later, we find ourselves in the merry month of March, when high-flying Sunderland are scheduled to provide us with some Hawthorns opposition. That?s a week before we?re meant to play any 6th Round game we?re involved in: if we have triumphed that far, yet another game for our weary squad to cope with, not to mention a possible additional dose of fixture congestion.

And that, really, is the reason why I?ve gone to the trouble of listing every single first team commitment we have between now and the end of the month. We?ve never had the biggest of squads, even when we?ve been sampling the abundant hedonistic pleasures of the Premiership: now, it?s looking ominously likely that we might end up paying the price for not having splashed out just that little bit more, when we had the chance of doing so.

This is the problem I touched on yesterday: that of players being far too knackered to fulfil expectations come crunch-time. The possibility hasn?t escaped the eagle eye of the media, either. How many match reports described our lot as looking ?jaded?, both yesterday and today? Not a unanimous verdict, by any means, but certainly one where the jury might well be open to further persuasion, so to speak. And I could certainly appreciate what they meant: resident OAP Kev Phillips certainly looked in dire need of a revivifying visit to a stress clinic when subbed last Saturday, as did scoring sidekick Joe Kamara, later still.

And that?s the real reason why we?re seeing both of them pulled off the park well before the end of hostilities. Mogga, quite rightly, doesn?t want either of them ?burning out? on him at a crucial time. And that?s where the trouble starts: you?d need to be terminally thick not to notice, versus Saints, that once we?d taken both off, we?d effectively blunted our main armament. Sure, Ellington came on by way of replacement for Phillips, but with his head in the seemingly chaotic state it is right now, would you want to see all our hopes and fears predicated upon the assumption of him unexpectedly coming good, one day?

According to the official website, our leader is currently exploring ways of maximising usage of our first team squad so as to reduce the so-called ?fatigue factor?. That?s one hell of a tall order, considering we don?t have much of a first team squad to play with in the first place. He asserts that one of the prime reasons we couldn?t quite cut the mustard last weekend was ?tired legs?, which is precisely why he wants to bring more ?fringe players? into the reckoning.

The implication is there that should weary push finally come to knackered shove, then changes to the favoured opening line-up will have to come, like it or lump it. Apparently, the gaffer has been running the rule over the more likely candidates for understudy status today: whether that will lead to significant change tomorrow night or not is anyone?s guess. Of course, as Mogga further intimated, such a change of policy might just benefit the most those habitually finding themselves on the fringes of regular selection: players can get overlooked for a variety of reasons, some of them not necessarily reflecting upon either playing ability, or the lack of it.

If you?ve got two or three guys of similarly high standard slugging it out for the same slot, the ones that dip shouldn?t feel in any way embarrassed: hell, shit happens, doesn?t it? And that?s why an enforced ringing of the changes need not be a disaster. If any or all of those fringe players have anything about them, they?ll be seizing their very own moment with unalloyed glee: what a golden opportunity to make a belated impact upon your gaffer. What a glorious opportunity to get the fans on your side, at long last. Who?ll be genuinely up for it, I wonder?

Let?s all hope that the alternative scenario I have in mind, us unable to win automatic promotion, on account of serious dips in form over the course of the run-up to the end of the season, and the squad as a whole not being quite good enough to take up any slack in time for the play-offs, remains strictly in the realms of fantasy. It would be infuriating, to say the least, to fail at the last hurdle because of a glitch like that. It would be doubly-infuriating to discover, in retrospect, that had we invested greater sums of money to cement the regaining of our Premiership status, then promotion would undoubtedly have been ours. An even worse one still would be to discover past attempts on the part of Mogga to improve the side during the window to be mangled beyond recognition once sitting in the boardroom in-tray.

But that?s all in the distant future ? well comparatively distant, for the greater part of us. The most important thing is keeping the results coming. To do so effectively, we?re going to have to spread the metaphorical jam thinner and thinner on the plate. Let?s hope the jar doesn?t run too short when we most need it. And, should worst come to worst, our wholesale jam supply not be found wanting, either.

And Finally?.. Oooh, we?ve had a mail from one of those awfully nice Perth Baggie people again, so take a metaphorical bow, Brownie, my boy. Not satisfied with his many other leisure pursuits, Brownie has now taken up a form of Japanese drumming, so help me God. Just what it entails, musically, I haven?t the slightest clue. Oh well ? if Rolf Harris can make playing the didgeridoo respectable in this country, I?m pretty sure Brownie can do similar with his very own method of post-match relaxation. Just don?t bring them down the Brummie, the next time you?re over, OK?

Oh ? and another thought. Should Brownie?s latest recreational craze involve bashing some pretty loud drums, with the population of Oz currently stuck on the twenty million mark, and the country having more vacant bits of land than it knows what to do with, taking the blasted things into the bush and well out of harm?s way shouldn?t prove too troublesome, either!

 - Glynis Wright

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