The Diary

30 December 2006: Lucky Blues Get The Points, Luton (Literally) Get The Breaks!

Oh, dear. Just when you thought it was safe to start using our supposedly-cured hard-drive once more?.. Yerss, the malevolent little gremlins I encountered the last time of asking are well and truly at it again. This time, they?re letting me boot up the system from scratch, then, once lulled into a false sense of security, the plunging of their sticky little mitts into the internal gubbins causes the bloody thing to crash again, right back to the start of the initial boot-up. By some sort of miracle ? I had to keep saving the text every few minutes, just in case of worst-scenario-type events manifesting themselves - I eventually managed to produce last night?s piece: from the word ?go?, it really was like treading on eggshells, constantly worrying when and where my luck would finally run out. A bit like our defence in extremis, really. Tonight, my other half had a go at putting things to rights, and he experienced much the same problem as well, so it?s very much a case of using his PC, right now. A pain in the fundament, as all the other sites I use to assist in the production of this esteemed piece are very much part of the other number?s electronic innards, but it?s got to be better than ?no possible way of getting this instalment out whatsoever?.

Still, I suppose I?ll live, and the human race will bimble along much as it has ever since the dawn of Time. Has to, doesn?t it? Mind you, talking of things that only serve to annoy and frustrate, how many of you saw tonight?s Sky game, the one featuring Blues and Luton? We only managed to take in the second half, after being at my stepmother?s place for the earlier part of the evening, but it was certainly some game. A pitch that bore close resemblance to no-man?s land, as per trench warfare of 1916 vintage, driving wind and pouring rain, but in the absence of both machine-guns and barbed wire ? although, given the reputed belligerence of their supporters, you can never quite be sure, can you? - some truly horrendous tacking.

No surprise, really, when two players ended up being carried off on stretchers in separate incidents, with the injury to Luton?s Markus Heikkenon sounding by far the nastier of the two. A fracture to the right fibula (that?s the thinner of the two lower leg bones, the one that runs behind the shinbone proper) it was, and one so bad, it needed a pretty hefty dose of morphine to deaden the pain, according to the pitch-side commentator tasked with following those sort of things through, followed by a swift trip to Selly Oak Hospital ? why there, I haven?t a clue, as it?s nowhere near St. Andrews - for the lad concerned.

Chasing the story up afterwards, it appears the lad suffered a ?compound fracture? which I take to mean the bone was broken in more than one place. Not surprisingly, the lad now needs an op, probably involving the insertion of pins into the broken bits to steady ?em while they heal. More the sort of injury you?d get following a car accident, or similar, not what you?d normally expect to see in a sporting context. I?d really hate to be the bearer of doom in this instance, but it?s quite possible for an injury of that magnitude to turn out to be a real ?career-stopper? for a footballer.

We already knew the score was 1-1 while in the car on our return journey ? Luton had equalised just before the break ? but what really made our day was Blues falling behind with around 15 minutes of the game?s normal time remaining, and to a Luton move that seemed to carve their defence right open, and straight through the middle, just like a knife through melting butter. Quite startled me, that: normally, clubs at the ?right? end of the table have far more defensive gumption about them than that, but hey! Who?s moaning?

Mind you, not only that, Blues were extremely fortunate not to have one of their players shown the red card just minutes before that Luton strike went in. Nafti was the name of the player responsible, and he was booked for it: personally, I?d have given a straight red, not only because he took the opposing player?s legs right from under him, but also because he appeared to have a go at the Luton lad afterwards. Not too long after that, Steve Bruce showed remarkably good sense ? for a Bluenose, that is ? by having him substituted before the referee did it for him. Nafti by name, and by changing just one letter in his surname, you then end up with a perfect description of his playing style. In fact, a fair proportion of the tackling I saw tonight you?d put into the X-Certificate category with little or no hesitation. I can only assume that tonight?s match officials were making considerable allowances for both the state of the pitch and that of the weather, otherwise it?s a raging certainty the game wouldn?t have finished with eleven from both sides still on the pitch.

Anyway, come the end of the normal ration, it looked very much as though Blues had, at long last, got coming to them what they?d been very, very lucky to avoid over the course of not a few games recently ? and that?s precisely the point where Lady Luck decided to flash her voluminously-frilly knickers in Steve Bruce?s direction. One Luton mistake, one shot, one goal. Didn?t you just know it? Still, it?s very much a case of ?two points dropped? for them, which I?ll take in lieu of what would otherwise have been quite an unexpected defeat.

With them unexpectedly dropping those two precious points - assuming we?ve still got sufficient bottle to have a Don Quixote-type tilt at those tantalising top two places, of course ? that?s going to give tomorrow?s Ipswich game more than a little added frisson, isn?t it? And, according to our leader today, it?s one for which we?ll have most of our key personnel completely hale and hearty. The only exceptions to that are Zoltan Gera, doubtful through injury again ? or is it just preparatory to being sold on come the New Year, I wonder? No tangible proof it?s the case, of course, but I?m really getting the feeling in my water he?s been ?tapped up? by some Premiership outfit or other, hence the marked deterioration in form thus far this season. We?ll also be missing Paul Robinson, but that?s through suspension, and for this game only. Other than the above, everyone else is hunky-dory. As for the visitors, their only real injury doubt, Dan Harding, who ended up with concussion during their game versus Coventry, might well be turning out for this one. Surprises me, that, but they know best, I?m sure.

I have to agree with Mogga when he says the next six matches we play will prove crucial to our bid for promotion, my primary reason for believing so being the lowly position in the table all six opponents currently occupy. String together a few good results, at the Hawthorns, of course, but also on the road ? in fact, belay my last: ESPECIALLY on the road, where we?ve only managed to win a measly two thus far, Orient League Cup win excepted. That?s going to be the real key to whether we do ascend, come the season?s end, or not. What would help enormously in the completion of our task, once the window is open, is signing a couple of players with a little more of the old Adam about them than is currently the case at our football club. ?Horses for courses?, just like I said the other day, and, used properly, devastatingly effective.

Tomorrow? For Mogga, it?ll be a little like attending an old school reunion, given he spent the best part of nine years lurking in the shadows there, as both player and coach. The one thing we do have in our favour with that one is the fact that The Tractor Boys do like to play the ball around a bit ? not a hint of ?hoof and hope? type tactics about our Portman Road chums, thank goodness ? which gives us more than a fleeting chance of picking up maximum points come the end.

For their part, they?ll be looking to gain retribution for the almighty stonking we inflicted upon them at their place, just a few short weeks ago: given the relative fragility of our rearguard over the course of this frustrating season, we could be heading for quite a game of football, in theory. There?s also the small matter of them currently languishing in fifteenth spot: another defeat, and they could end up in deep doo-doo, especially if any of the bottom three suddenly rediscover winning form, and they don?t. If you?ve got a weak heart, or a similarly-dodgy medical condition, perhaps it might be for the best you didn?t turn up for this one.

That?s tomorrow, then, but it?s all the games that come thereafter that potentially make for an interesting time, if you?re a Baggies enthusiast. On the home front, then, after Ipswich, we?re looking at Luton Town, who, with 30 points on the board, occupy a perch just three places above what you might want to term ?Losers? Row?, if you?re feeling sufficiently vindictive, or unkind enough, to actually do it. Admittedly, a good nine points currently sunder them from the Championship?s answer to the ?Siege Perilous? of Arthurian Legend, bus as I intimated above, stranger things have happened ? and not all of them at sea, either. And they did give Blues quite a nasty scare tonight, as per the start of this piece, so don?t break out the celebratory bubbly just yet, y?all. Following on from that, we?re then visited by the third outfit in this particular triumvirate, Plymouth Argyle, currently halfway up the greasy pole, and not really engaging in significant movement in either direction.

But, as I said earlier, it?s away from home we really need to rack up those points. That means a three-pointer at Roots Hall, Southend?s ?place of worship?, this New Years Day Monday. Just like all good limpets, they?re well and truly rooted to the bottom of the table, and juicy-ripe for turning over by a side as free with the goals as we are. Don?t forget, we?re the division?s highest goalscorers, right now, and if that doesn?t count for something, I?ll go and eat my hat(ter), relish ?an all.

Saddest of all, though, will be the journey to Elland Road we?ll make come the 20th of January, just seven days after we play them in the Cup, at home. How can this be? Seeing Leeds so deep in it, I mean, not playing them in what will be virtual ?back-to-back? circumstances. Cast your minds back to the season we first gained promotion to the Prem: while we were busily engaged in the onerous, but ultimately highly-satisfying, task of getting those lovely Dingles as mad as hell, Leeds were at the ?right? end of that league?s table, and qualifying for Europe while they were at it. ?How are the mighty fallen?, and all that Biblical jazz.

Beware of directors that spend money like water, that?s my motto: beware even more those who supposedly come in on a ?rescue mission? but simply end up piling on the agony, lots of it. And, via rapid application of a plethora of ill-thought-through boardroom edicts, managing to completely alienate all their ?regulars? in one fell swoop: quite an achievement, that. Yes - I mean YOU, Ken Bates! I wish all the genuine Leeds people out there no ill whatsoever, but as far as their current chairman goes, I long for the day a rogue asteroid unexpectedly descends upon Elland Road, taking him right out, lock, stock, and bloody white beard. Should you want to know more about the elegant, lovely and talentless Mister Bates, I suggest you tune in to one of the many Leeds supporters websites there are out there, but in lieu of further details, let?s just take on board the fact they?re currently second from bottom, shall we? ?Nuff said.

The third in our little ?awayaday? trifecta is Hull City, who are but one place higher up the table than the troubled Elland Road outfit. In fact, only three points separate the bottom three, at the time of writing, hence my perception of how important they actually are to our prospects of upwards mobility. The Hull trip hits us come the beginning of February, of course, by which time we?ve either managed to hit the consistency ?mother lode?, at long last, or just carried on dropping daft points away from home. Should the waters have cleared sufficiently to indicate more of the latter than the former by then, we?ve certainly blown any chance of going up the ?easy way?, and possibly dipped out on the play-offs also. By the same token, come the second month, we might be giving those Bluenoses a real run for their money up top: who knows at this stage?

On this, The Mighty Mogga Has Already Spoken. If we?re one hundred per cent focused upon what we?re doing, we?ll hit pay-dirt, end of story. But what with our continually-porous defence, and everything, I?ve still got lurking the horrible suspicion we?ll somehow contrive to completely stuff it up. But it really shouldn?t pan out that way, not on paper. Here we are, the Championship?s top goalscorers ? and not just that, we?re missing chance after chance as well, every single game we play, not just the odd one ? so by rights, and with a little more luck landing where we most need it, we should be where Blues are in the table, and not where we currently are. More than ever, it?s very much in our own hands, now, and not those of our current rivals.

And Finally?. One. So you think you?ve got it bad, post Yuletide, the moment fiscal retribution, in the form of stonking great credit card and utility bills, get shoved through letterboxes and doormats the length and breadth of this green and pleasant land of ours?

Well, spare a thought, then, for our wonderful government, who?ve had it much, much worse, poor lambs ? but no more! By this time next week, they?ll have, at long last, stumped up this country?s final instalment on war debts still owing to both the US and Canada. The Second World War, that is: as I understand it, we only finished paying others for the first one as late as the mid-sixties. So how much were the original loans, precisely? Around ?43 million, in the case of The Land Of The Free, and a piddling ?22.7 million, comparatively speaking, owed to our Canuck chums. The size of the original bill, before all those the loan payments started clocking up? ?2.8 billion squid, approximately, a debt mountain that makes the concept of thuggish-looking loan sharks knocking on doors in depressed areas ? and in some cases, smashing them in, should the borrower have sufficient courage (suicidal tendencies?) to default on what are usually fiscally-crippling repayment terms - look a little amateurish, not to mention sick, by way of comparison.

The moral of my little tale? A ?no-brainer?, really: just hank your lucky stars we never once missed a due repayment date! After all, with George Bush in charge Stateside ? currently clinging to the Presidential cliff-face by his Republican Party fingertips, ?tis true, but still hangin? on in there, somehow ? I really dread to think what his political interpretation of the dread phrase known to debtors everywhere, ?calling in the bailiffs?, would have meant, in practice!

Two. Many thanks to Baggie reader David Neale, who so very kindly identified the subject of the words I quoted in a diary piece, just the other day: ?An enigma wrapped up within a mystery?, was the quote. The politician who said it in the first place? Winston Churchill. I should have guessed, really. The subject of these words? Soviet Russia, ruled by Stalin at the time Winnie actually said it. There you go ? I?ve always maintained that Baggies followers as a species are considerably more cultured than the common herd, so it?s with the greatest of pleasure I can now provide you with but a smidgen of the necessary proof!

 - Glynis Wright

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