The Diary

02 November 2006: Today's Verdict On Yesterday - Must Do Better!

A bit of a late start tonight for me, folkies ? but it?s all been in an good cause, as we?ve been having a bit of a pow-wow with ?Im Indoors?s publisher at a pub on the Hagley Road (Yes, I know ? that?s what they all say! ? but in our case, it was the gospel truth, honest!). Of that, more later.

Firstly, though, I couldn?t bear to let a minute slip by without heartily congratulating our top six rivals, Wulves, on their outstanding performance at St. Mary?s, where they contrived to lose 2-0. By the time we were back in our car and heading towards The Fart?s house, the airwaves were positively humming with aggrieved Dingles innumerable queuing to register their complete disapproval of tonight?s dodgy doings. Mind you, to listen to their terrible wails, laments and gnashing of teeth on air, you?d have thought they?d have lost by a much bigger margin. In fact, as they hadn?t given out the precise score the whole time we were listening ? I could only assume that they were taking it for granted that their audience had been with them for much of the evening, not to mention these people not wanting to be reminded, so they thought they didn?t need to! ? it was only when we put on Ceefax that we finally discovered what had actually happened.

Further thoughts apropos last night? The one thing I just couldn?t get my head around was Duke Ellington?s serial inability to perform to the high standard we all know he?s capable of in front of goal. It?s not as if he?s a complete novice when it comes to the Championship, and the seriously heavy demands it makes of strikers: just a few seasons ago, he was playing in a starring role for Premiership-bound Wigan, alongside Jason Roberts, so he, more than most, must know what life in this division?s all about.

Not only that, when with the Lancashire side, he was banging in a hatful of goals for them, making quite a nuisance of himself around opposing defenders in the process. Personally, I would have thought that the advent of Mowbray, and his welcome emphasis upon exciting and entertaining attacking football would have been manna to his very ears. Given also a supply-line that includes a top-notch Welsh international, and a very-hairy former Man United trainee ? why isn?t he responding in the manner we?d all like to see him do by now? Discuss.

Other thoughts? For one thing, as soon as we made it 2-0, that seemed the general cue for taking our foot off the gas. Did we grossly underestimate QPR?s ability to get back into it, and pay the price accordingly? A daft time to concede, that, stoppage-time, ditto what happened within a minute or so of the restart. It seems to me that with Albion, in our worst moments, the name of the game is ?lack of concentration, of application, of commitment?: all that, coupled with a complete inability to be ruthless, and kill the game off completely. Had we pressed home our attack properly, and really put them to the sword once we?d gone two up, they would have finished the game five or six in arrears, of that I?m firmly convinced.

That?s the price you sometimes pay for having a side that?s very good with the pretty stuff, but lacks sufficient ?oomph? both in the middle and at the back to worry and harry opponents out of it when they counterattack; a little more ?spine? in other words. Don?t get me wrong, our new, attractive to watch playing style is something about the Baggies I?ve been dreaming about for years, but it is a little worrying when, say, forwards/midfielders don?t seem to want to muck in when backs are in considerable danger of beating against the wall, as they were last night, sometimes. Make no mistake, our defence has to toughen up a tad if we are to be serious ? not to mention be taken seriously, mind - about winning promotion at the first attempt.

Again, heavy responsibility for the situation has to devolve upon some for not doing their jobs properly. The problems we had in front of goal last night should ease a little, now Kev Phillips is back, but it?s not just our strikers: every single man in the box has a responsibility to create chances, to lurk on the off-chance a stray ball begging to be put away might end up in front of someone?s predatory boot. And, as I?ve also said, be prepared to help out at the back as well. Oh ? and another welcome bit of news for this Saturday?s trip to Derby: not only should we have Darren Carter back by then, I?m also given to understand that our badly errant goalkeeper will be sitting that one out, with Houlty taking up the reins between the sticks once more.

Should have been done as early as the Dingles game, really: after Houlty appeared versus Arsenal, and gave a pretty convincing performance that night ? certainly neither of the goals were down to him, and he did command his area with bags more confidence and authority than our error-prone Swiss international has ever done ? I genuinely regarded him a ?slam-dunk? certainty to start versus Blues. Why he didn?t was a complete mystery to me: had Houlty managed to catch our gaffer in flagrante, or doing something with equally-huge embarrassment potential, I wondered?

At least, now, he can have no complaints: since his arrival on the Hawthorns scene, our manager seems to have bust a gut, almost, in his various attempts to retain Zoobie in his normal socket. Too much in that direction, you might want to argue ? but he?s the gaffer and we?re just supporters. Mind you, we did hear a tale recently that suggested Zoobie?s arrival on the Hawthorns scene was not exactly greeted with enthusiasm by our previous manager: to all intents and purposes, the guy was foisted upon him, and mighty angry was Robbo about it, too. Whether or not our info about the player was correct, I haven?t a clue; all I do know is that as a keeper, Zoobie looks an awfully ill-fitting square peg in a round hole ? and not one likely to grow into the job, either.

Frustrating though last night?s game might have been for some, at least we might see some progress made on our main deficiency areas once the transfer window?s open again. But no frustration whatsoever tonight, when we met up with our publisher at the Garden House pub to finalise publicity plans for ?Im Indoors?s new book. It being the sort of establishment that likes to think it?s a serious gastropub, as you can imagine, the place was absolutely heaving with thirsty office workers grabbing a drink or three, with the varied food menu on offer proving very popular indeed, too.

Anyway, this is what came out of our discussions. ?Im Indoors takes delivery of an initial batch on Friday, while those who have ordered in advance should get theirs either the following day, or Monday next. We?re also giving the local journos ? print, radio, TV etc. - a bit of a serious ear-bashing, so those of you that live locally, don?t be at all surprised if you tune in to your local station of preference over the course of the next few days or so, and hear the dulcet tones of The Fart extolling the virtues of His Nibs?s publication. In fact, The Fart?s going to be a pretty busy bloke over the course of the next few days, full stop.

But that?s not all. We do have a couple of other wheezes in the pipeline. Remember when I mentioned the possibility of holding a signing session at the ground, the Platinum Suite, East Stand, to be precise, on the 16th of this month? Well, it?s definitely going to happen, now, but in a slightly different way to the norm. We?ve already lined up four ex-players to do the actual signing stuff, Bomber Brown and Derek Kevan being two, plus Superbob and Archie Macaulay, and hope to get even more ?booked? before the night. Oh ? and Laraine Astle, who kindly wrote the foreword for us, has promised to be there also, which is fair enough, given that Jeff was one of the players originally featured in that weighty tome. As for the selling price for the book on the night, that?s been revised slightly downwards. ?Twill now be no more than 15 squid to supporters wanting to reminisce about times gone by, and meet old friends into the bargain, as opposed to seventeen, effectively, should you grab this publication from another source.

And talking of ?old friends?, what Sutton Branch are going to do that same night is hold a branch meeting, in the same room, directly after the book is given an airing by the players, and everyone gets a chance to get theirs signed. Should be a good night for that alone, with our signing session certainly ringing the changes. Despite Mandy and pals holding forth afterwards, the session is genuinely open to all, so if you fancy grabbing the book at a slightly cheaper price than the norm ? now, where?s Steve The Miser when you really want him? ? or just fancy batting the breeze with some of our Golden Oldies on the playing side for an hour or two, then do come along.

Tomorrow, I?m off to do some Stan Flashman impersonations at the ground: in other words, I?ve been nominated to pick up Stoke tickets for our entire crew, who will be together in the Britannia for that game for the first time in absolute yonks. We?ve even roped in The Noise?s two for good measure, although what their combined conversation levels might do to my sanity over the 90 minutes is a complete and utter journey into the unknown! Let?s at least hope that our visit is a little more productive then the last time we went there. As some of you may recall, the first time we journeyed to the Britannia fairly near the end of that season, it was in the teeth of a howling gale, one that eventually led to the game being called off before a ball had been kicked in anger, even. The game was eventually rearranged, though, and falling very near to the end of that season, too, by the time it was played, we?d already won promotion. Result? Our lot didn?t bother, basically, and we ended up losing by about four goals. Annoying, to say the least, especially as I?d have really liked us to go after eventual champions Norwich in an effort to try and win us some serious silverware ? but that was swiftly knocked on the head a week or so previous to Stoke, when we lost to Reading, on the day we held our Tommy Gaardsoe ?Viking? end-of-season celebration.

Back on Friday night, to run the rule over what?s likely to happen at Derby County. Let?s just hope that we can get our act back together for that one, eh?

And Finally?.. When I was discussing SuperBob at the beginning of the piece, it suddenly reminded me of something I?d heard about him recently, had meant to use here, but had consigned to the dustier recesses of memory instead. To properly appreciate this tale, you have to go back in time to 1992, when Bobby Gould, in just about the only sane thing he did while at the Hawthorns, got Bob in to replace Don Goodman, who?d been sold to Sunderland under somewhat acrimonious circumstances a few weeks previously.

The thing was, Bob hadn?t been at the club for very long, before he?d managed to acquire, from his new team-mates, the nickname ?Trigger?, as per a quite obtuse, intellectually-challenged character featuring in a popular TV comedy at that time, ?Only Fools And Horses?, the reason for this being the perception among other team-mates, rightly or wrongly, that he wasn?t ? erm - quite as quick off the mark as some, shall we say? But Bob wasn?t to know this: in fact, his puzzlement on acquiring this particular soubriquet was great: ?Ah wouldn?t care, but Ah dunna look a bit like him!?.? was an anguished wail heard frequently whenever the subject was raised with Bob!

 - Glynis Wright

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