The Diary

24 April 2006: The Continuing Titanic saga - And The Band Plays On.

It?s now been well over 24 hours since the end of the game that effectively condemned us to fizzy pop football for at least one season, and, at long last, the meaty ?clunk' of the penny finally dropping has brought the attention of the Robson aural apparatus to the pressing problem that could, eventually, be the prime causative agent of his Baggies downfall. Months and months too late to change outcomes, of course, but hey ? as the business community would put it, we?re now well and truly singing from the same hymn sheet, as so amply demonstrated by his pot-match comments yesterday. These are given below, but first, here?s regular Diary reader Cyril Randle?s comments on what happened at St. James?s Park.

?Clement was a total liability, whatever talent he had has left him. Davis was playing to impress Arsenal, a 'come and get me out of this mess? performance - and without doubt he deserves better. The Pole too. Robinson was a pale shadow of himself, Squashie was barely noticed, Gera still isn't sharp, The Viking was full of running and gave 100%, Greening was, well, Greening, all waggly feet and poor centres. Who else played??? Gawd knows. Yes it was THAT bad.?

Now for Bryan?s post-match press conference views on the subject: ?We didn?t play at all, today. We?ve been a bit unfortunate in recent weeks, but the performance level wasn?t there today. Yes, it looks like we?re going to be relegated. We didn?t compete well enough, we didn?t pass the ball well enough.

?If I had 11 subs at half-time, I would have put them all on. No one performed for us. With the other results, it?s backs to the wall, now. Mathematically, we can still do it, but we are relying on Portsmouth and Birmingham, and we have to win two games ourselves ? and we are not looking like winning.?

Amazing, isn?t it? After spending pretty much the first three months of 2006 in what amounted to complete denial, just like Conservative leader David Cameron, our manager has finally undergone a conversion of almost Damascene proportions in the face of increasingly-heavy bombardments of convincing evidence that was, even to outside observers, very much a case of stating the bleeding obvious.

?Yes ? it looks like we?re going to be relegated?..? Well, give the prize to the bloke in pink slippers. It didn?t exactly need the deductive powers of a Miss Marple, or a Hercule Poirot, to work that one out, did it? We supporters predicted the likely course of events months ago; being Baggies and well used to serial disappointment by now, the signs were there for all of us to see with consummate ease. The continuing failure of both manager and board to do something to rectify the situation, at a stage where there still remained at least some room for manoeuvre, is now coming back to haunt us in spades.

?We?ve been a bit unfortunate in recent weeks??.? The only ?unfortunate? thing about this mess was our continuance of a tactical ploy that simply wasn?t working: i.e. fielding teams somewhat light on the goalscoring front, then relying, more often than not, on the occasional quick break from defence to get us out of the resultant hole. The fundamental problem was our lack of goals; once we?d crossed the Rubicon of the January transfer window with not even a whiff of a fresh striking option on board, we were rendered effectively stuffed, and without kicking a single ball, too. And, whatever the underlying reason for having done so, sending two strikers elsewhere, leaving us even thinner on the ground than we were previously, didn?t exactly enhance our survival prospects either. Interesting to note that Earnie is now banging ?em in for The Canaries: seven goals in twelve appearances for the wurzel-manglers, is it? And was it really wise to offload The Horse when we did? Past his sell-by date he may well have been, but I?m pretty sure he could still have done a swinging job for us at the lower level next season, by coming off the bench as necessary, then being a thorough nuisance in the box.

No surprise, either, to discover that recriminations are now flying around in much the same way lead once did at the OK Corral. The temptation to stage some sort of a protest at the West Ham game must be a pretty appealing proposition to some of our more passionate supporters, right now, but it?s not the wisest sort of direct action to take. Sure, everyone?s going to look at what?s happened in a knee-jerk, emotive sort of way over the next few days, and discuss matters accordingly when with groups of fellow-sufferers, but would it not be better to keep our collective counsel until everyone?s in a much better position to analyse what?s happened, and with a little less passion and/or emotion involved in such discussions?

Just as knee-jerk legislation in response to an unexpected crisis is rarely a good idea ? you?ve only to see the practical effects of John Major?s so-called ?devil-dog? laws, or the recent Blair anti-terrorist law changes, even, to understand the reasons why ? consequently, so is any sort of instinctive ?seat of the pants? reaction to recent events concerning our football club.

For starters, public demonstrations and their like can amount to an open invitation to yield the moral high ground you so urgently need in order to maintain both a credible public stance, and the sympathies of the media ? think all those recent ?Batman and Robin? stunts perpetrated by disgruntled fathers seeking better access to their children, for a compelling reason why ? and there?s also a real danger that by upsetting those with the power to change things, you?ll only wind up with opposing views and opinions even more strongly entrenched. In any case, such activities would be sure to result in either the club or the law banning offenders, a pretty rotten situation for genuinely-concerned followers to find themselves in. Oh ? and another thought. Sky tend to operate a censoring-type policy when such blatant publicity-seeking acts are perpetrated right in front of the cameras; even assuming a proper quality control routine, the supporter(s) concerned would only end up with a banning order, and no 15 minutes of fame whatsoever, however genuine the grievance.

The time for rational and mature discussion among regular supporters ? or, come to think about it, any sort of dialogue at all ? has got to be several weeks further down the line, when most of the dust has finally settled. Whatever happens between now and the end of the current season, the one thing direct action won?t do is bring about a Canute-like reversal of the prevailing tide, so why beat ourselves up unduly about it?

Turning our attention to the West Ham caper once more, I?m now wondering as to whether our chairman will be returning from his Caribbean holiday suitably refreshed and invigorated, and nicely in time to witness the gradual sinking of a once-proud club into the stinky, sticky morass that calls itself the Championship. If not, then he ought to be pretty ashamed of himself: when it does eventually come to the time for pointing the finger of blame for what happened, I do fear our leader will end up having quite a lot to answer for as well.

Recriminations apart, now the axe has well and truly fallen, what of the future? Some are calling for Robson?s head on a plate already, while others think it a case of shutting the stable door after the horse (no, not THAT one) has well and truly bolted. The Fart, in his lengthy on-line account of what happened yesterday, mentioned he?d had intimations from a reliable source that Robson and the Baggies would soon be parted. Personally, I wouldn?t know, but I?d be pretty surprised if it happened that soon. No, I reckon Robson could well get the same personalised fortune-telling reading as his illustrious predecessor; just ten Championship games to show a distinct improvement next season, or it?s ?Alan Sugar time? for both he and his discredited managerial methods.

Even without prodigious input from various Sunday papers, some with an agenda, some not, it?s now as clear as KY jelly that some of our more talented performers are going to defect to other sides rather than endure twelve months locked into the purgatory of Championship football. Albion never were the best of payers, so all prospective poachers have to do is dangle the heady prospect of filthy lucre in abundance before prospective clients in order to obtain a promise to sign on the dotted line no sooner it?s declared humanly decent to do so.

The Pole In Goal is an obvious candidate; having witnessed what he can do even when placed behind a drastically-underperforming defence such as ours ? remember Anfield? - the temptation for some managers to grab his services well before any peers have time to react to events must be overwhelming. The same must apply to Zoltan Gera, who is rapidly developing into one of the Prem?s surprise packets. Assuming he can shake off the debilitating legacy of recent lower abdominal surgery, of course. If he can still demonstrate an ability to amaze and delight by turns, what of his prospects and potential when placed with a club far more able to make good use of what he?s already got?

People like Curtis Davis, Paul Robinson, could also be persuaded to leave for pastures new. True, some are still under contract and have quite some time to go before those deals are deemed about to expire, but we all know from bitter experience that the moment a player decides he wants out, there?s very little a club can do to persuade him to stay. A classic example of that sort of mentality was provided by former Bluenose Robbie Savage, who went into the most alarming of public strops until Blues finally lost patience and told him to go forth and multiply.

Even taking into account the strong likelihood of our brighter prospects being cherry-picked come an eventual return to pre-season training, what of those whose star could reasonably be considered well and truly on the wane? Kanu won?t be staying; he has an escape clause inserted in his contract enabling him to cut loose without any obligation whatsoever once we?re relegated, and I suspect he?s not the only one. Kev Campbell? I suspect his legs have gone also; far better for him to quit while he?s still ahead of the game, I reckon. The prospect of losing both he and his Nigerian mucker throws up yet another problem for the club: finding someone (several ?someones??) from the lower divisions or abroad possessing sufficient resilience to not only learn his/their trade in the higher sphere, but able to provide us with one precious commodity in quantity ? GOALS. That?s the key to early promotion ? pretty much the only one, really ? and without a quality performer next season, we?re as good as stuffed.

Not that I?m expecting a rocket-like ascent from the fizzy pop league next season, mind. I strongly suspect that Robson at the helm or not, we?ll still be there in a year?s time. As our chums further up the road will readily confirm, it?s not the easiest of leagues to get out of, so expect even more grief along the way next season. At the moment I lack the ability to foresee much more than a slow descent into mediocrity for the club, a process that will accelerate considerably with the loss of those parachute payments in but a couple of season?s time. It?s when we?ve haemorrhaged committed support to the extent of our average gate being somewhere in the region of half what it is now, the club will suddenly realise that contrary to more recent opinion, they genuinely do need the presence of the ?little people? in quantity after all. Should the worst-case scenario described above actually come to pass, will those currently running things still be in there pitching, I wonder?

I?ll probably be providing an update come Friday night, with another instalment on Sunday by way of a preview for the West Ham game. Already I?ve seen intimations of organised protest come next Monday night. Oh dear, I really do hope things don?t get out of hand.

And Finally?.. Thanks to a Leeds United-supporting chum for the following joke, now well and truly adapted to the gloomy circumstances currently prevalent at The Hawthorns:

Question: What have General Pinochet and West Bromwich Albion both got in common?

Answer: They both round up people, put them into football stadiums, and torture them!

 - Glynis Wright

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