The Diary

19 April 2006: Three To Go - Can Things Get Any Worse Than They Are?

After last night?s complete and utter stuff-up ? against a Bolton side that couldn?t even score to save its collective, miserable life, remember ? I?m still trying to figure out what horrible quirk in our manager?s mental processes led him to believe that we could do serious battle with The Trotters without Kanu in the side right from the word ?go?. Kev Campbell, our striking option post-kick-off, is 37, and his legs are, at the very least, on the verge of going. Just watching was painful. No wonder we couldn?t hit ?em hard enough over the course of the later stages ? and that factor, more than anything else, is the one responsible for dumping us in a lower division.

If you don?t take your chances when offered ?em on a plate, practically, then you don?t deserve anything you get. You might be able to get away with just a modest attacking role at lower levels, but when it comes to the Premiership, you?ve got to have something out there capable of burying other sides, otherwise, you?re stuffed. Attack has always been the best defence; true, you end up conceding as well as scoring, but as long as the number conceded doesn?t pan out greater than the number scored, then survival should be yours. Oh, and ? shock! horror! ? you might just give your supporters a wee bitty entertainment along the way as well. Considering Robson originally learned his trade by playing in a side that enjoyed one of the finest attacking reputations to be had in the old first division, it?s a total mystery to me why he hasn?t sought to put any of those principles into practice now he?s managing the club.

Our service from midfield also left something to be desired last night; as for Kamara, was he in the midst of a Mogadon rush for the greater part of the game, or what? The Pole In Goal worried me, also. Why on earth all that sudden erratic kicking? And, on a similar note, there?s AJ; a terrific guy, who?ll give you everything he?s got for the whole 90 minutes, and more besides, but through no real fault of his own, a tad lacking in genuine skills at this level. You don?t pile great heaps of abuse upon the head of a child who fails to master calculus sufficiently quickly, do you ? the abstruse realms of higher mathematics are frequently a learning task too far for some otherwise extremely intelligent people ? so why give AJ all that grief when it?s as plain as the zit on the end of your nose he simply shouldn?t be in the side? Don?t get me wrong; I?m still of the opinion he could go to a Championship side tomorrow, and do a masterly midfield job for them, too ? but play for another Premiership side, and look comfortable in the role? Get real.

As for young Nicholson, I genuinely feel sorry for him; for the short period of time he was out there, he did his level best to force a breakthrough, but last night?s game was one where we were playing for some pretty high stakes. It was a big boy?s world out there, make no mistake; putting a novice in that sort of situation, you stood a pretty good chance of piling onto his broad but youthful shoulders cares and woes way beyond his tender years. Not the right sort of learning environment at all for someone so inexperienced, so raw. Bring new lads into the side when there?s no pressure, by all means, but don?t screw up the ones you?ve got by putting them into that invidious position much too soon. Oh ? and while we?re at it, anyone remember Scott Darton?

Of one thing I do know, though, and it?s this. Right now, there?s building up one almighty head of steam concerned with giving our current leader his marching orders once the current season?s through ? and if we continue to stuff up vital games the way we have, I can readily foresee some Albion followers not confining their criticism to the verbal sort either. There are some pretty hurt and angry people out there right now, and unless something changes very quickly, then things could get very ugly indeed. The Nathan Ellington saga has also entered another, potentially destructive, stage. The thread on some Albion websites is wrapped around the former Wigan striker declaring himself fit before last night?s game, but storming off when he discovered he hadn?t made the cut for the final 14. That was, more or less, the story that hit my delicate little ears last night. This incident does tend to remind one of other, more spectacular gaffes abroad.

Robson had an extremely distinguished playing career with both ourselves and Man United, and an equally exemplary one for England, but greatnes$p s as a player doesn?t necessarily buy you success as a manager. Bobby Charlton, someone whose playing career was honours bestowed from beginning to end tried, and with Preston, too, but just couldn?t hack the severe hassle and pressure involved in making the club a success once more. Conversely, those who had modest playing careers, taking in more lower-league club work than you could shake a stick at, seem to have made the transition in a much smoother manner than that of their more moneyed counterparts. To be perfectly honest, though, despite what I?ve said in the previous paragraph, I?m not all that sure whether a change in managerial and backroom personnel would help right now. Just how much of our failure to buy players during the January ?window? was down to Robson, I wonder? Could it have been our chairman himself covertly refusing to assign additional funds intended to navigate us out of this mess? I must admit I find it strange that before the mid-term transfer window, we seemed to be making genuine progress at long last, with enticing wins over the likes of Arsenal and Everton, the latter to the tune of four good goals, and in retrospect, our festive week brace against Spurs seemed to give added value as well.

Again, I have to ask the question ? what?s happened since then to turn the percentages so drastically? Should we decide to cut our losses and opt for change instead, forget the more established managerial performers, like McCarthy, Reid. There are more than a few up and coming young talents in the lower divisions who would positively relish the thought of managing a club like ours.

As things stand, we?re currently19th, 29 points in the bag, but Blues play Blackburn tomorrow evening; should they win that one, I reckon our fate will be well and truly sealed. At least we?ll have removed all the uncertainty, and can then look forward to revelling in a heavy dose of gallows humour come Everton on the last day. I?m also left wondering as to why Messrs. Earnshaw and Koumas are now cooking on gas for their respective sides; it seemed that once out of The Hawthorns, their match-winning talents blossomed forth again, both having netted regularly for their respective sides over the course of recent weeks. Certainly, neither could blame our former leader for their misfortunes once he?d upped and gone, which is why I?m genuinely puzzled as to why they both left our place seemingly at loggerheads with management again. Robson?s leadership style seems to be one at total variance with that of his predecessor; when both myself and The Fart interviewed him last season, above all, he came across as someone prepared to treat players like the grown-up people they really were ? so what?s the problem now?

Another factor that may have played at least some part in precipitating our demise is our continual inability ? or that of management ? to maintain a settled side. We win well at home one week, so what does our leader do? Completely reshuffles the pack; players in and out more times than a hokey-cokey dancer haven?t got sufficient time to properly adjust their playing style accordingly, to get to know their team-mates, even, so the side?s suffered as a result. It?s bad enough losing players through international call-ups and the like, without trying to make things more difficult by indulging in quite unnecessary team changes. Again, you have to ask what?s going on, if only to properly get to the bottom of Pearson?s role in all this; there, you have a bloke assumed to be one of the best in the country, and yet he still can?t come up with the biz.

Changing the subject slightly, today I had to take Cyrille, one of my four felines, to the vets as he hadn?t eaten properly for about a week. One visit later, and the outlay of a sum calculated to make me go ?Eek!? through sheer shock alone, I still have to wait until the results of a blood test come through, on Thursday lunchtime, hopefully, and I can then get to the bottom of something that?s truly affected our peaceful little household for the worst. Back nicely in time for the Newcastle thrash. of course ? and with any luck,we might get away without too heavy a defeat.

And Finally?.. After my return from the game and writing up yesterday?s offering, although it was around four in the morning by then, I just couldn?t resist having a further gander at The Guardian while waiting for my painkillers to kick in. As I was reading the ?extended comment? bit, I happened to clap eyes on an article, written by a serving Bible-basher, carefully exploring the literary possibilities inherent in the question: ?Does God Have a Sense Of Humour?? Perhaps he should have saved himself all that intellectual effort, because I genuinely know the answer. Aw, come on, the evidence is there for all to see. Why else would He cause the city of Wolverhampton to appear on the face of this bloody planet?

 - Glynis Wright

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