The Diary

06 March 2006: Mourhino, In Carry On Chelski: "Infamy, Infamy, They've All Got It In For Me!"

It?s now been more than 24 hours since that amazing ? and disgraceful - second half versus Chelski yesterday, and having perused several newspapers, both tabloid and broadsheet since, to grab their viewpoints on what happened, I do find it quite astonishing to find that most seem to have tried to put something of a positive spin on Mister Mourhino?s somewhat bellicose touchline antics ? and that?s being charitable about the copy I?ve seen thus far. In one tabloid in particular, once I?d got past the opening paragraphs, what I was reading quickly gave off a very strong whiff of ?defence barristers trying to smear the victim in order to gain sympathy with the jury?. Already, Chelsea, quite rightly sensing there may well be a subsequent disrepute charge in the wind, are spinning faster than my sister?s old Elvis 78?s. Said their spokesman: "We felt that Bryan Robson set the tone for much of this from the first minute. He was insulting our players and our bench virtually from the start.? Quite a common legal tactic, that: rape defence lawyers thrive on it.

Sure, I know we weren?t exactly ? if you?ll pardon the expression ? ?whiter than white? on occasions: surrounding the referee in order to try and influence decisions you don?t like is a ploy supposedly outlawed by the game?s ruling body this season, so we shouldn?t have done it. Period. But ? and there?s always a ?but? ? as I saw it, any such antics on our part were totally eclipsed by the awful behaviour of those Chelsea players, not to mention that of those on the touchline, who should have known better. Collapsing and spinning as if multiply-shot, then writhing on the ground in a manner that would surely have done credit to the final reel of a James Cagney gangster movie ? ?Them dirty rats ? they got me!? - is also outlawed by the game?s rulers: in fact, there?s supposed to be a crackdown on the practice well in time for the forthcoming World Cup tournament, so perhaps it might behove our men in black very well in future to start putting into practice what their gaffers are supposed to be preaching, and PDQ, in my opinion.

Had the referee handed out a few yellow cards the very moment all that ?hassle? nonsense started out there ? Albion, Chelsea, I?m genuinely not fussed ? then the lad with the whistle might have saved himself an awful lot of grief later on. And had he punished Drogba for that Oscar-winning performance of his midway through the second half, perhaps he might then think twice before attempting to perpetrate a similar trick on others. The Robben sending off may or may not have been a harsh decision ? personally, I still think he had to go, Robbo doesn?t ? but diving in with both feet, studs showing, and very late as well, isn?t exactly what you might call a ?wise career move?, now, is it?

A few seasons earlier, Jermaine Defoe, then with West Ham, did similar in almost-identical circumstances at Upton Park: the ball, situated in an equally-inoffensive part of the pitch, presenting no immediate threat to the West Ham rigging, with the Albion player involved having virtually lost control of the ball anyway. But once he?d launched into that ill-tempered tackle, he still walked for ?violent conduct? The same sort of parameters applied yesterday. As I said earlier, the FA could hardly refuse to back the match officials for trying to enforce something FIFA have been banging on about for months. Er ? could they?

As for Chelsea as a whole, their core values, their current footballing philosophy ? quite frankly, they stank. As I said on the Boing mailing-list last night, being a supporter of sufficiently-mature years to remember all-too well the cynical and equally-despoiling Don Revie-inspired Leeds United side of the late sixties and early seventies, Chelsea?s antics yesterday put me very much in mind of that era. When Abramovich first took over at Stamford Bridge ? well, any replacement for the quite awful Ken Bates has to be given the benefit of the doubt at first, don?t they? ? to my mind, it seemed like a long-awaited breath of fresh air wafting through the long-stagnant and fusty corridors of the Premiership, and one seemingly hell-bent upon completely blowing away the Championship monopoly long enjoyed by Alex Ferguson?s Manchester United, and Arsene Wenger?s Arsenal.

That they did very quickly indeed, and, what?s more, in fine style, thereby winning over a hell of a lot of the British footballing public along the way. Two years further along the line, what do we find? All that goodwill gone, evaporated completely, like an early-autumn dawn mist - as if it had never even existed. After yesterday?s appalling antics, you don?t have to look very far to discover the reason why.

The stultifying, not to mention negative antics of their players have a lot to answer for, of course, but if it?s genuine blame you want, then the immaculately clad and coiffured Continental standing on the touchline should bear a considerable portion of it. Arrogance personified, most of the time, only the merest gestures of the hands or arms signifying normal control and command of his highly-paid ?orchestra?, but the actual body-language indicating much, much more, and none of it at all good for the game.

It?s the little things, like waiting until the very last minute before deigning to emerge from the dressing-room after the half-time break. Not an uncommon tactical ploy these days, you might want to argue ? and you?d be dead right. What does set their manager?s antics very much apart from those of other sides, however, is that having had eight of their finest finally emerge from the tunnel yesterday, we then had to wait near-on four minutes for the other three to leave off their earnest studies of astrophysics, brain surgery, or whatever, to finally honour us all with their second-half presence. Singly, not together.

If that isn?t extracting the urine in quantity, then I don?t know what is. If that referee?s got anything about him at all, he?ll be including that little episode in his match report as well. Footballers, being part and parcel of a profession embracing discipline of an almost-military nature, at times, almost invariably take their cue from their gaffer; had The Beautiful One wanted their presence on the park without further ado, you could bet your life he would have made both his thoughts and intentions very clear indeed by that time.

Result? On Tuesday next, there will be an astonishing number of non-metropolitan Brits watching Chelsea?s Champion?s League tie with Barcelona, and every single one of them hoping like hell Barca boot them right out of the competition. It won?t come as any particular surprise, either, to hear that I?ll be one of them. Apologies in advance to the Leeds supporter that regularly reads my words ? he is one of the more human ones, to be scrupulously fair ? but I didn?t like Don Revie, morally-dubious antics and all, some thirty-odd years ago, and it?s for precisely the same reasons I most certainly don?t like Mourhino?s act now.

One thing?s abundantly clear, though. Both clubs will be hearing one hell of a lot more about what happened before the month is through. As I said earlier, it now looks very much as though the FA will be poking their porky little snouts into yesterday?s detritus. Fair comment. To the guy even reading those reports compiled from a neutral viewpoint, it must have come over very much like anarchy unleashed to both casuals and foreign media alike. There?s now talk of a possible ?250,000 FA fine for both sets of ?combatants?: a mere bagatelle to Mourhino and all who sail in him ? if such a sum is imposed, will that come out of their ?petty cash tin? I wonder? - but quite a nasty hit for our lot, if it happens. Despite Mourhino?s heated protestations to the contrary, he must surely have known that he was guilty as sin yesterday. Bloody bad PR, trying to shift the blame in the shambolic way he did, dontcha think?

Let us not forget also that when it comes to giving match official serious grief, Chelsea do have ?previous?. As I remember it, last season, they journeyed to Barcelona on European competition business, and while there, tangled with referee Anders Frisk. As I recall it, after that tie, certain allegations were made by some Chelsea people apropos the impartiality of Frisk, with the end result that although totally innocent, such had been the pressure from the media, he then felt he had no option but to quit the game. Oh ? and another thought. Interesting to note also that even former Chelsea favourite John Hollins had words to say about Drogba and his fast-developing theatrical talents ? and none of it complimentary, you may be surprised to hear!

According to tomorrow?s Guardian, the incident where Drogba appeared to overreact after he was barely touched by Greening led to yesterday?s referee, Mr. Halsey, appealing to the players' union, the Professional Footballers' Association, to act on perceived cheating. "I saw it and knew that he wasn't touched, but no way could I justify a yellow card," said Halsey. "It's not for me to judge, it's for other people - for the PFA to look at that and get on to their members." A surprising statement, that, especially the bit about not yellow-carding Drogba for having stronger thespian tendencies than most. I?m perfectly sure the referee would have been well within his rights to do precisely that ? whatever happened to the section of the rule-book that covers ?unsporting behaviour?, then?

Despite all the skulduggery that went on yesterday, there was still much about our lot that deserved praise. Kozac? Very much thrown in at the deep end for his first ?proper? start yesterday ? Chelsea, what a time to have to make your inaugural Baggies appearance! ? but did extremely well, I thought. Given a little more luck, he might well have ended up on the score-sheet himself. It was around that time I was alerted by the sound of something running pretty hard to try and keep up, and that was poor Kev Campbell.

An awful lot of people around me yesterday lunchtime were moaning like hell about him, but what he clearly lacked in pace, he most certainly made up for with those wonderful flick-ons of his. Think back to yesterday, and the number of times he employed that device in order to bring others into the game, and do a fair amount of ?menacing? that way also.

Greening? As he?s yet another footballing Christian, I can only assume that when he next trots off to church, there?ll be one super-sized prayer winging its way straight to Big ?G?, the subject-matter for which will be a concerted attempt to save the collective souls of the absolute rotters who, first of all, blatantly tried to get the lad sent off. But there?ll be another one heading that way as well. Having subsequently noted that their little wheeze wasn?t even going to reach the starting-line, never mind land someone with an undeserved red card, they tried instead to ensure our lank-locked midfielder ? why is it that whenever I see a picture of Jonathan Greening, my thoughts instantaneously turn to boozy images of the main character in ?Shameless?? - he would be eating hospital food for an awfully long time. Unsuccessfully, fortunately for everyone?s peace of mind, Greening?s included.

The final score on Saturday might not have been exactly to our liking, but at least we still managed to maintain the current distance between us and Pompey, and most important of all, Blues, both of whom dipped to the odd goal later that afternoon. We?re in no way out of the woods, of course: Blues still have that game in hand over us, unfortunately, and that?s why the final outcome of our encounter with them next weekend will probably provide a pretty clear indication of precisely where we?re heading come the end of the current campaign. Mind you, after what happened yesterday, a 90-minute spell spent in the delightfully witty and erudite company of Steve Bruce and friends will probably seem like a bit of a rest-cure by comparison!

Back next Friday night, then, for a few words regarding The Crunch Game due to take place next Saturday. Until then, beware of strangers bearing names like Drogba! OK?

And Finally?.. Comment from a Halfords Stand ?neighbour? yesterday, on hearing our line-up just before both sides emerged from the tunnel: ?Our formation? It?s just like watching Albion play away from home!?

 - Glynis Wright

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