The Diary

02 December 2005: Roy In An Albion Shirt? I'm Not All That Keane, Myself.

?The day after the night before? so to speak ? and what a contrast. Just 24 hours ago, I was at the so-called 'Theatre Of Dreams', and watching our finest get chucked out of the League Cup for their sins: tonight, I?m desperately trying to stave off the worst effects of sleep-deprivation, while simultaneously committing my innermost thoughts to bits of electronic ?burp?. All my own fault, of course; after we got in from the game earlier this morning ? around two o?clock, if my memory serves me well ? I well and truly blitzed my Old Trafford offering, and once I?d finished that, and belatedly realised the silhouette of the Indian takeaway restaurant a few doors down was becoming increasingly apparent against the ever-brightening urban sky, I simply said ?sod it?, went downstairs, fetched today?s papers from the newsagent over the road, then sat by a nice warm fire to read what those nice Fleet Street boys had to say about last night.

Had I not had commitments elsewhere, I would have very likely succumbed to the strong lure of my warm pit anyway; the trouble was, with only a couple of hours remaining until it was time to head on out to my GP?s surgery, I was a bit concerned lest I be swept up in the welcoming arms of Morpheus, and miss my appearance there. No, that?s not a misprint ? ?appearance?, not ?appointment? was the precise word I wanted to use in that context. No, the surgery rang me the other day and asked if I could turn up to give a bunch of medical students being trained there a little practical experience poking around my various bits and pieces, so I said OK. I?m nice like that. Quite an illuminating experience, really; it?s not every day you get an exclusive preview of what sort of bedside manner Birmingham University School Of Medicine will be letting loose upon an unsuspecting public in but a few short years time, but at least I got the chance to let them see things from the patient?s point of view for a change, so a win-win situation all round, really, which is considerably more than we saw last night.

Before I get started on that again, and other stuff besides, a quick note. As you will have gathered from the tone of yesterday?s missive, I?d made it very plain that of the two ways of mourning George?s death last night, I?d found the one outside the ground, the impromptu shrine, as per Princess Di?s just eight years ago, the vastly more preferable of the two. What I hadn?t intended, though, was to give people the impression I was rubbishing the ceremonials laid on by United inside the ground. I wasn?t; what I was trying to convey (although, in retrospect, I do concede I could have chosen my words more carefully ? that?s what tiredness does to you) was my overall preference for the huge number of tributes to George laid outside, mostly spontaneous, all of them genuinely moving, many from Albion supporters attending last night?s game, of course, and more than a few from clubs based all over the UK, not to mention beyond.

You had only to look at the club shirt, or in the case of the more obscure ones, the badge/crest adorning the front, to properly appreciate just how much time and trouble some had taken to properly pay their respects. Such unquestioning devotion can?t be easy when you?re a pensioner, someone on benefits, or simply feeling the financial pinch in the run-up to Christmas. I do hope that serves to clear up any remaining misapprehensions among readers regarding what I said last night. As I?ve said before, I?m one of a generation that actually saw George in action, both at The Hawthorns, and on TV, and greatly admired his genius from afar. I?m also someone who readily appreciates that United must have felt duty-bound to commemorate George?s passing in some form or other last night; he was their star player, after all. It?s just that I could have really done without all the ?stage-managed? stuff, myself. But then again, for people like Terry, all of an even earlier generation than mine, that would have served their needs very well, but by the very nature of the beast, such things will always be totally subjective. Horses for courses?

Moving on to other matters, some of which stem directly from our Cup exit last night, of course, I must say I was a tad disappointed that we didn?t play what I would consider our optimal mix. Having Kanu out there, rather than just warming his botty on the bench, might just have made that crucial bit of difference to our prospects. Russell Hoult? Hmmmm. For the life of me, I can?t think of many good reasons for including him in yesterday evening?s party invites, only lots of bad ones. As far as I?m concerned, just watching him floundering as badly as he did when their second went in was quite enough for me, and I strongly suspect we may well have seen his last ever performance in an Albion jersey.

One further thought that did occur to me at the time, though, and something I discussed with The Noise, sitting next to me at the time, was the possibility - please note that word! - he might have been set up to fail last night. It?s very difficult to argue a case for your retention when there?s clear documentary proof in existence as to why you might now be considered not quite up to the job. No doubt after last night, Houlty will be going back to Forest, and once in-situ, may well be offered something more permanent there. That?s not to say he didn?t serve us marvellously well during his time with us, mind; you have only to look at the stats for that amazingly-close 2001-02 promotion run of ours to realise that without his undoubted skills between the sticks, The Dingles, and not we, would undoubtedly have scooped the pot. If only for that reason alone, I?ll be eternally grateful for what he did.

Big Dave? A marvellously-strong and positive influence, both on and off the pitch, but as with Houlty, you do have to wonder just how much more there is within him to stand up to the manifold stresses and strains of Premiership football. I?m now wondering if the next transfer window will see the end of the Albion road for our ?mobile solar eclipse?. It?s sad, but you might want to say the same thing about The Horse, who also found it hard going last night. Carter? Oh dear. Oh, well ? whether by accident or design, our Cup exit does mean we can now devote all our attention to the more important task in hand, that of Premiership survival. And that, of course, means plotting the destruction of Fulham come the weekend. More on that tomorrow, of course.

And, that, chaps and chapesses, brings me on to the reams of words written in the media, both local and national today, about the possibility of Robbie Keane fetching up at The Shrine ere too many moons have waxed and waned over the town centre. Plus points? The journey down wouldn?t be all that irksome for him, of course, and his plain-speaking mode of operation could well make him a very strong influence in our dressing-room. Plus, of course, he knows Robbo very well indeed from his time at Man U. Minus points? That?s what worries me. For starters, managing him would need someone with an iron-grip, and I?m not yet totally sold on the idea our current leader is capable of doing that. Additionally, having someone with such a strong and direct personality at the club could quite easily turn out to be something of a mixed blessing for Robbo. Derek McInnes, whose playing career was equally coruscating, led by example, of course, which is why his players respected him so much, but as far as some of our lot are concerned, the idea of frequently ending up with a mouthful of naughty words heading straight in your direction would soon pall, I reckon.

As we?ve seen all-too often in the past, Keane is not at all afraid of being totally ? erm - ?frank and honest? with coaching staff in public, and should we hit a ropey spell at some time in the future, I can just see the press beating a path to his door in droves, then trampling each other to death, almost, in the almighty rush to get some juicy quotes before the deadline. A bit of a loose cannon, that one, and if I were Albion, I reckon I?d be having my thousandth thought about bringing Keano to the club right now, never mind second ones.

Not only that, today?s story about Albion allegedly approaching the player with an invite to talk turkey, repeated on Sky tonight, might outwardly appear to signify he?s halfway there, so get those replica shirts and iron-on shirt names and numbers from the club shop while they?re hot, folks, but what they don?t say ? or simply relegate to the small-print at the bottom of your screen, where they hope you might not notice it ? is that we?ve merely ?spoken to him? thus far, which could mean absolutely anything, from Robbo actually ringing the guy and saying ?Do you fancy coming to West Brom and playing for me, then??, to the initial moves having already being made, but discreetly and indirectly. Or not at all; Robbo may well have tactfully sounded him out following the recent announcement of his United contract termination, but once the answer?s ?No!?, that?s the end of that one, isn?t it? And in any case, we?d merely be the last in a very long queue, which, at the time of writing, consists of Bolton, Celtic, Man City, Portsmouth, West Ham - and, last but not least, bloody Wigan. So don?t hold your breath. OK?

And Finally?.. Back with more on our next game tomorrow, so ?now for something completely different?! Loved the sight last night of a gaggle of Baggies standing in the turnstile queue last night, and all ?serenading? one of United?s stewards, an almond-eyed chap of clear Oriental origins, with a musical paean of praise to Inamoto. It doesn?t half pay to remain ?inscrutable?, sometimes!

 - Glynis Wright

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