The Diary

15 August 2003: Attention, Flash-Mobbers! Tomorrow's meet is The Hawthorns!

So. A group of like-minded people mutually decide to travel to a prearranged destination, gather there in a large excited crowd, sing a bit, clap a bit, then quickly disperse. The media call it ?flash-mobbing? and think it?s the trendiest thing since sliced bread; personally, I call it ?supporting your local football team?, and it?s something we Baggies have been doing with some success since the year dot. It just goes to show there?s nothing new in the world, and just to prove it, we?ll all be there for yet another dose of similar tomorrow evening, kick-off time courtesy of those nice Sky people. So, what?s in store for us tomorrow?

Well, if you like your ?keepers Beast-shaped, the lad himself will definitely be turning out for the opposition. There?s no alternative, really, as they don?t appear to have a suitable understudy to fall back on. I suppose Mr. Jensen must be doing the biz to the Lancashire club?s satisfaction as he saved several pens the other night when their League Cup tie went to spot-kicks. Bearing that in mind, I know precisely what?s going to happen tomorrow ? The Curse Of The Ex-Baggie will descend in great big dollops, and, yes, he?ll play a blinder for them, just you wait and see. In addition to their bit of Danish, they?ll also have Man Urinal loanee Luke Chadwick and Dingle Mo Camara on duty. At least they?re not the formidable outfit they were when we played them last. If you recall, when we last met them at Turf Moor (also in front of the cameras), they were up in there pitching for ?P? with us, and thanks to the loving attentions of Mr. Roberts, we sent them packing with their tails firmly stuck between their legs. 2-0 to us was the final score, and there was a deal of unpleasantness in the streets outside afterwards. Some of it was certainly down to them, but it has to be said also, a goodly portion was at the instigation of our less-than-desirable travelling element...

As for our lot, Siggy apart, we really shouldn?t have injury considerations to worry about. The burning question, though, has to be whether our leader will have the nerve to stick with the classy-looking midfield combo of Sakiri and Koumas, or whether he?ll go for something with a tad more good old-fashioned ?oomph? about it. It certainly made a change to see us trying to pass balls to feet on Tuesday night instead of relying solely on the big ?wallop-it-down-the middle-and-hope-for-the best? strategy we?ve grown more accustomed to of late. The other question, of course, centres on whether we stick with the starting combo of DD and Rob Hulse again, or give our two live-wires, Hughsie and Scott Dobie, a chance to put some ginger into our attack, and, hopefully, the fear of God into the opposition. If it were left to me, I?d give it a go.

Another bit of juicy news: from what I?ve picked up on the mailing-list recently, it would appear that our visitors aren?t at all happy with tomorrow?s referee, one Mr. Clattenburg. The reason? Scuttlebutt has it he?s rather partial to giving Burnley players more than their fair share of red and yellow cards, apparently, and they weren?t best pleased to discover he?s officiating tomorrow. Expect lots of aggrieved Lancashire lads and lassies when he takes to the field of play tomorrow. Result? My cup?s half-full for once. I reckon we?ll squeeze it, two-nil, and hopefully, our climb up the table will commence from there...

Talking about the morrow, let?s hope the remaining turnstile problems, evident outside the Brummie prior to the Brentford game, have been ironed out to everyone?s satisfaction. Yes, I know the club said via the media that everything went swimmingly the other night, but judging from the number of Baggies who stated via the mailing list that this simply wasn?t the case, it wasn?t all plain sailing. According to one person, not long before kick-off, concerned stewards had to open one of the exit gates at that end and let in those holding stile cards without checks on whether they?d paid up-front or not. And there were glitches with the technology elsewhere; I know for a fact that at least three of the turnstiles at the Smethwick End side of the Halfords crashed because one of the officials on duty told me so. Tomorrow evening?s full house will be the first real acid test of the system. Let?s hope everything works more smoothly this time round.

This afternoon, my main preoccupation was with Laraine Astle, for several reasons. Firstly, she rang me this afternoon to give me the details of the day-centre Jeff attended during his illness. As I mentioned the other day, GD will be making the place our ?good cause? this season. As things turned out, that wasn?t the only topic we discussed. I didn?t find out until ?Im Indoors returned home with the relevant cutting, but today, a bloke called Dr. Paul McCrory, who works for the University of Melbourne, Australia, published a scientific paper in the British Medical Journal stating, in effect, that heading footballs was unlikely to have killed Jeff. Until I read the ?Birmingham Post? article, I had no idea this was in the offing; when I mentioned it to Laraine (my other half walked in as I was nattering to her), she then told me that various media people had been in contact with her over this. Having read The Post?s version of events to her (Laraine asked me about the article to check she?d been quoted accurately), when I?d finished speaking with her, I then got the BMJ up on Google, and read the article for myself. I?m no expert, and I?m not sure I completely understand the methodology and statistical stuff cited in the piece, but several thoughts struck me immediately.

I'd like to know more about the sample of people used in both the Scandinavian and the Dutch studies cited in the paper. How old were they when the study was done? When did they actually play the game - the 50's, 60's, the 70's, or what? What sort of ball was in use during their playing career? The old leather sort, or the newer plastic-coated number? How many games did they play during the course of their career? How many times did they sustain visible head trauma during games? How many of the players in the study played at centre-forward, or centre-half, both positions where heading ability was, and still is, of paramount importance? Of the strikers, how many were inclined to score goals, or play the ball, using their head rather than their feet? How many former players made up the totals in the samples studied? Some scientists like to bring their work to the notice of the academic world by publishing research likely to be deemed controversial. Is this one such piece, I wonder? Sorry, but the whole thing throws up far more questions than answers for me. I did complete a longer draft of my interpretation of the article, and my thoughts on it for the ?Boing? mailing-list, but for some reason, it didn?t go on tonight. Gawd knows why. If anyone wants the whole shebang, just mail me at Glynis@football4sale.com Come to think about it, if any medics out there want to add comment, I?d be really grateful for any input (and thoughts on the subject) received via the same email address.

Perhaps, if you?re in any way inclined to believe in the supernatural, or of a nervous disposition, you?d be better off skipping the next piece. Laraine told me this afternoon that the day the Gates were declared officially open, some pretty spooky things happened. I didn?t notice at the time, myself, but Laraine swears on anything you care to name she?s got what follows on video (Central TV footage) to prove it, so I?m not about to argue, am I? What she told me was this: just seconds before she went to cut the ribbon on the Gates, they quietly swung forward of their own volition. Apparently, it caused several in the crowd to gasp in surprise ? Mike O?Leary turned to Laraine afterwards and said it sent a shiver down his spine ? and as they slowly opened, one supporter watching promptly declared, ?That?s Jeff...? Laraine reckons it wouldn?t surprise her in the slightest if it was her late husband?s ghostly presence; in fact, when it happened, she reckons she could almost hear him saying, ?They?re my Gates, and I?m going through ?em first!? And, as if that wasn?t spine-chilling fare enough, not long after the opening ceremony, the same thing happened again. And, as they swung slowly open the second time, up piped the voice from the crowd again, ?-And that?s all the Albion supporters up there with him...?

And finally... Oh dear, we didn?t do our market-research very well, did we? What?s more, as a result of this poorly-targeted literature hitting our doormat, I?m still trying to unstick my other half from our living-room ceiling, and a local firm are shortly to receive a rather large postal flea in their ear. Puzzled? Let me explain. On Wednesday, Brindley Honda, based in West Bromwich, of all places, sent ?Im Indoors a cunningly-worded invitation to watch Premiership football from the luxurious and opulent surroundings of an executive box. Very decent of ?em to do so, it has to be said, but there was, however, one fundamental snag. The invite was for Molineux. Big mistake. Something tells me that my beloved?s the first of many potential customers they?ve lost in this area before they even got started...

 - Glynis Wright

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