The Diary

30 October 2005: Toon In For Our Next Episode!

Back again, on the very same night the clocks go back for the duration of winter, bringing in its wake a succession of days when we both go and come back from work in the dark. (And during work also, as the more mischievous among us would very likely opine, but that?s by the by.) Know something? I?m still trying to fathom what relevance, if any, a measure first brought in during wartime to aid farmers has to modern day patterns of living. True, the change was experimentally done away with in the early seventies, but for reasons I still can?t fathom, everyone went with the status quo, and still the clocks go back.

I?ve also ended up missing a game today. While ?Im Indoors headed on out to Kiddy, to watch Hereford in action in their only Conference local derby this season, this little Baggie stayed at home, and watched via TV instead. All because of my back giving me a little more gyp than I?d bargained for today. Well, it was Sky sports and their constant latest scores service I watched, of course. As I said to ?Im Indoors, when he finally showed up from Aggborough, it really is astonishing how we take such things for granted, these days. Back in the sixties and seventies, if Albion were playing away, midweek, say, and I couldn?t get to the game, it was a case of waiting with whitened knuckles for the Nine O?Clock News on the BBC, then hoping they?d give the scores: sometimes they didn?t, just to be perverse.

Were that the case, it was then either to one?s trusty tranny and Radio 2, who might or might not have the scores - it all depended on whether or not they?d covered a game live that night - or to ITV and News At Ten, with an agonising wait of around an hour after the final whistle by the time the murder was finally out. And, come the eighties, and I was working on Saturday afternoon and/or evening, it would be a case of my shifting out of the nick as quick as Christ would let me in order to catch their blasted vidiprinter on my TV. Highly frustrating, whichever way you want to look at it, and even more so if you?d only half an hour?s tea-break in which to look out for the wretched scores.

Unfortunately, back then, my gaffers didn?t quite share my enthusiasm for our favourite football team; in fact, on one particularly memorable occasion, one of them actually put their thoughts into words, something along the lines of ?I can?t for the life of me see what?s so special about watching West Bromwich Albion?..? Said I to the fair maiden, whose private life I was just as well aware of: ?Well, at least it beats watching dirty videos every single night??? Touche.

Today has been quite eventful for two other reasons, from an Albion point of view. The first? Our forenoon League Cup draw with Man United, at their place. Just two or so seasons ago, I would have totally written off our chances of reaching the last eight, but now? Tonight saw a result that just might speak volumes about the Mancs, and the current state of all who sail in them: 4-1 they were trounced at the Riverside, and United?s scorer, Ronaldo, only managing that consolation in the last minute of normal time. Could it be that we?re now seeing the first microscopic cracks in the immense and seemingly impregnable edifice so carefully constructed by Fergie over the past decade and a half? Certainly, their current Premiership position ? sixth, is it? ? falls somewhat below what their arrogant supporters would normally expect at this time of year. Sure, and I know they can be slow starters, but in past seasons they?ve generally managed to find fourth gear by this time.

Even more remarkable, though, is the continuing rise and rise of new boys Wigan. Over a third of the season gone, now, and still they?re sweeping all before them. Wigan 1 Fulham 0 was the final score today, and that result hauls them up to an unbelievable second in the heap, with 22 points. Above Man U and The Arse, both now keeping one another company in the ?also-rans? positions: cor, I?ll bet anything you care to name both sets of supporters are muttering darkly tonight. Although we?ve already fallen foul of their ?gung-ho? style this season, you can?t help but have a sneaking admiration for them, and what Paul Jewell?s achieved up there; had he had better luck with finances when at Bradford, then maybe he might have pulled off a similar stunt with them. They might well get found out come the latter part of the season, in fact, I?m sure they will, but by then, it won?t really matter; they?ll have long since amassed the necessary number of points it normally takes to survive at this level, around forty.

Their meteoric rise up the table thus far brings back fond memories of the last promoted side to go that high so quickly, Ipswich Town, around three or four seasons ago, under George Burley, currently looking for another job, of course. Qualifying for Europe with ease that campaign, largely thanks to their policy of recruiting only honest, but capable players, their board then, rather foolishly, went for twin policies of going for expensive players to further their Premiership ambitions, and building a new stand that ended up costing an arm and a leg ? not to mention relegation, the following season. You might want to argue they?re still paying the price for what went on back then, try as they might, they still can?t get out of the Nationwide.

In some ways that recent opening campaign of theirs mirrored what they?d achieved under Sir Alf Ramsey in season 1960-61. Newly-promoted, they actually went on to win the League title the following season, only to drop back into 17th place obscurity come season 1962-63, with relegation their fate the campaign after that. You have to hand it to the East Anglians; whenever they get promoted, they certainly do it in style!

Meanwhile, in our neck of the woods, things have become a little hairier for Blues; they lost to Everton today, which dumps them firmly into the bottom three, and catapults the Merseyside club above them, with poor Sunderland ending up with the title of ?strongest side in the division? thanks to their 4-1 home mauling at the hands of Pompey. As we?re currently hovering in the treacly space just above those shark-infested waters, we?ve got no reason whatsoever to gloat, as we could find ourselves similarly-encumbered given an equally-bad run of results.

Another reason why our injury-list tonight is very bad news indeed; in fact, when perusing tonight?s paper to see what was on TV, I happened to note the absence of ?Casualty? from our screens tonight. Now I know the reason why: rather than confine the unlikelier medical activities of the cast to the fictional environs of Holby City, they?ve gone and decamped in our treatment room instead, to film on location. Charlie is no doubt being his usual phlegmatic self, sorting out the various aches and pains of Chris Kirkland, while psychiatric nurse Abs is busy sorting out what Nanny Ogg, in the Terry Pratchett Discworld novels, so aptly calls ?head-ology?. That?s something our strikers could do with a double dose of, right now, but having said that, isn?t Earnie moonlighting on the programme already, as the mentally-troubled medical records clerk who?s the son of the A and E nursing sister in charge?

Seriously, though, we don?t half have a casualty list on our hands right now. No less than eight of our finest could be hors de combat tomorrow, a state of affairs our manager reckons is the worst he?s known ever since he came to the club. Chris Kirkland I expected, to be fair ? a bruised kidney probably means he?s passing blood in his urine, which can?t be any good for anyone - but after that, the suspended Robinson excepted, you?re looking at a walking-wounded list directed and choreographed by none other than the late Cecile B de Mille. So, where do I start, then? Decisions, decisions??. Albrechtsen has a hamstring problem, Zoltan is suffering something chronic with his groin (cue for joke anyone?), Kanu also has a hamstring malady, Darren Carter?s knee is ailing him rotten, and, last but not least, Diomansy Kamara has a dicky ankle.

The good news? Well, Curtis Davies may be able to play once more, after being Cup-tied last week, and news from the front about Nathan Ellington sounds a tad more positive; he?s now deemed fit to face whatever The Toon can throw at him tomorrow. I?m also assuming that Inamoto will be chucked into the side for another go; if he isn?t, then I?ll really know our gaffer?s flipped his lid, that thirty-yarder of his against Fulham was something really special. Someone who might be having mixed feelings about our injury crisis right now is Russell Hoult, newly brought back from the Outer Darkness of Forest?s City Ground, to ensure adequate goalkeeping cover now Chris Kirkland?s out of the reckoning for around a month. Another thought: that business recently about The Pole In Goal wanting away because of little or no first-team involvement. Does our recently-acquired custodial dilemma mean he?s now kicked all thought of saying ?bye-bye!? to The Hawthorns well into touch for the duration, I wonder?

Because of the injury situation, our options at the back will be limited, to say the least. Could we be seeing both Big and Little Daves ? assuming the latter is OK, of course ? in central defence, and Clem moving back to the flank to solve the awful problem on the left? As far as midfield goes, the shortage of likely bodies isn?t quite so acute, so expect a start for Mr. Wallwork, the lad Inamoto, with Greening on the left, and Chaplow on the right. Or, dare I say it, AJ? Up front, it?s any two from four, The Horse, The Duke, Earnie and Kevin Campbell, I suppose.

As far as our opponents are concerned, they too have had a rotten time with injuries of late, but according to what I?ve seen on various Toon websites tonight, with the exception of Lee Bowyer, the majority of their ?walking wounded? should be OK for this one. That means Ameobi, who scored twice against Sunderland last week, and Michael Owen, who missed the last two with a hamstring problem, the same malady that afflicted his now-fit team-mate. Drats!

Our chances of getting something from this one? With Newcastle, you can?t definitively say, one way or another; even at the best of times, they?re a side that can do some pretty bizarre things. I?ve also a feeling they didn?t enjoy their midweek trip to Blundell Park one little bit; it took that Shearer goal, in the last ten minutes, to finally put them away. If they?re still feeling the effects, there might well be some mileage in it for us. Oh ? and thinking about that game again, I wonder whether Shearer?s finally stopped moaning about being elbowed in the mouth, yet?

And finally?.. You DID remember to put that clock back, didn?t you? You didn?t? Oh, well ? it?s perfectly easy to remember, next time: ?Spring forward, fall back!? Never fails, with me. As to whether it?s Dingle-proof or not, that?s another matter entirely!

 - Glynis Wright

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