The Diary

26 September 2005: Barracking - An Albion "Tradition" I Don't Like.

Oh, dear. The weekend?s results just get worse and worse from our point of view, don?t they? Sunderland finally managed to get off the winning mark today, thanks to their triumph over near-neighbours Boro. That leaves us on 5, still, and them on four, just below. Horribly close, but whatever agonies we?re suffering as a result of that unexpected win, spare a thought for poor Everton. Bottom tonight, a state of affairs I find quite astonishing, given their fourth place finish last time round. It has been said in the past that Moyes?s side only flattered to deceive, and getting into Europe represented rupture of their ability ceiling, complete and utter, but to seemingly plummet in such dramatic fashion this time round I find quite astonishing.

It?s early days, of course, and Everton do have, on paper, decent enough performers to get them out of this hole, but there is such a thing as effectively talking yourself into a crisis when there isn?t one. Sunderland managed it when they sacked Peter Reid a few seasons ago, and so have Man City, on occasions too numerous to mention. Even Newcastle were exhibiting typical symptoms up to comparatively recently. But, as we already know from bitter experience ourselves, once you get yourself into a losing cycle, and morale plummets like a half-end brick chucked over a precipice, it?s the Devil?s own job to put things right again. Everton do have various other troubles; as I understand the situation, they currently have serious financial problems. Should we choose to think the unthinkable, and they do end up taking the drop come the end of term, they could find themselves in a debt-ridden plight all-too similar to that of Leeds United.

I?m going to start tonight?s next dose with an apology ? well, an unreserved one, in fact. As someone so kindly pointed out to me today ? well, a lad called ?Bob Bob? did online, so good they named him twice, perhaps? ? it wasn?t The Duke that caused havoc in the Addick ranks yesterday by ghosting past two or three of their finest then letting fly with a thunderbolt that only just skimmed the crossbar, it was none other than the lad Kamara. Quite right, and I hold my hands up in complete acknowledgment of the error. As I?ve since told the lad via email, my daft gaffe was due to the unaccustomedly-brutal shock of watching beautifully?executed passing and movement from one of our players, for once. No wonder it addled my brain so badly, thereby causing me to suffer such an unforgivable episode of mistaken identity.

Another very pertinent point raised by my double-barrelled correspondent? If nothing else, we really must include Kamara in our starting plans for the Blackburn game next week. To do otherwise would be an act bordering upon criminal negligence, in my opinion. To turn poor Bradford inside-out in the space of just 45 minutes is one thing, but to effectively do the same thing to opposition currently parked in runners-up spot, and within a similar time-span, too, doesn?t half spell out an important message to our manager. In words of one-syllable, more or less; even the thickest of Dingles couldn?t fail to grasp its import, I reckon. Will Robbo finally take heed, I wonder?

The other very obvious conclusion we have to draw from yesterday?s first 45 was this: AJ may be many things, and he has served us very well indeed over the course of the last four years or so, for which most supporters are very grateful, I?m sure, but he?s not a Premiership player, and, very likely, will never be. Very good at running around like a lunatic high as a kite on Pro-Plus tablets, sure ? in fact, one of the Sundays picked up on that very same thing today, which is precisely why he was the reluctant recipient of their ?stinker? accolade ? but as far as ability to properly cut it at our level is concerned, perhaps he would be far better moving on to a club that can make proper use of what talent he does undoubtedly have.

As for the concept of pairing him up with Wallwork, I would have thought that past practical experience would have shown beyond all reasonable doubt that the prospects of such a combo actually succeeding were remote, to say the least. But one other matter does concern me also, and it?s not one directly connected with team selection, right or wrong. It?s about the other issue that?s been thrown up as a result of supporters violently disagreeing with what our manager initially put on the field of play, and that?s the booing and catcalling that took place once the starting line-up was known. And then, of course, following every single mistake made by the individuals on the receiving end, in this case, AJ, Wallwork, and, to some extent, Campbell.

As people who have read what I have to say in previous paragraphs will instantly realise, I do fundamentally agree with their assessment of the current situation. Neither Wallwork nor AJ should be starting, right now, as we have far better midfield alternatives kicking their heels parked on the bench, or being left out of the picture completely. And I still think that my original idea of having Earnie and The Duke up front, with Kanu in ?the hole?, maybe, could ?have legs?, in popular parlance. At the very least, give it a try for one 45, and if it turns out to be a horrible mistake, or our former Arsenal lad gets too knackered, then change it.

Booing and jeering during games (and, unforgivably yesterday, even before a ball was kicked in anger) solves absolutely nothing, in my opinion, and only serves to make matters worse. Did we effectively dig a hole for both players ourselves when people booed them prior to kick-off, I wonder? Hearing that lot going on while they were both kicking in prior to the action must have served as an enormous confidence booster - I don?t think! If ever there was a self-fulfilling prophecy created by our followers yesterday, it had to be that one. I?ll criticise either in private, or afterwards, until I?m blue in the face, but get on someone?s back, either through frustration or malice, while the game?s actually being played? No way.

Time and time again, even as far back as the so-called ?halcyon days? of the sixties, I?ve seen our supporters collectively sink their malicious claws into some poor out-of-form bugger or other, then systematically proceed to mercilessly tear them to shreds, psychologically speaking. It?s mob rule, complete and utter, and it?s totally wrong. It?s been quite some time since the last poor sod went through such awful mental torture full-on ? Scott Darton, around ten years ago, was it? ? and it?s one Albion tradition in particular I don?t particularly want to see revived. And it won?t be if our manager does the commonsensical right thing and leaves the aforementioned three people out of the side. There are perfectly valid reasons for doing so, as outlined above, but what isn?t right is the current Coliseum mentality ? ?thunbs up for ?yes?, thumbs down for ?no?, and pick up your free gift of bread from Emperor Nero at the exit gate as you leave ? that passes for intelligent comment at The Shrine these days.

Talk about ?voices from the past?. Today, we had an email from none other than a guy called Ashley Clapperton, offering us the use of a wonderful painting of what you might term a ?composite Albion supporter?, fully ?spurred and booted? in mandatory stripey matchday-wear, complete with beer-belly of wonderfully-ovoid proportions, and ambling in slow Black Country fashion towards the top of Halfords Lane!

As Andy?s never worn the sacred blue and white stripes for real, ever, the name won?t be too familiar to many of you out there, but we know him primarily because of his artistic talents; around late 1993, we purchased a painting from him of Andy Hunt scoring at the Play Off Final versus Port Vale, and its been hanging over our fireplace more or less ever since, only to be usurped in more recent times by a giant photograph of SuperBob scoring the one that really mattered against Crystal Palace some three years ago. But Ashley?s wonderful Wembley work still adorns our living-room wall, albeit in a different place, bless his tiny little brushes, oils and palettes.

Ashley?s also living proof of the oft-quoted adage about your past misdemeanours always coming back to haunt you. Especially if you happen to be an Albion supporter. About the time of the 1998 World Cup, we travelled to Oz, and much to our amazement, bumped into Ashley in a Perth Irish-themed bar. (What made the whole thing even more surreal that night was listening to an Aussie folk group, in an Irish bar, playing an English traditional song ? ?Dirty Old Town?, written, I believe, by Ewan McColl, the late Kirsty?s dad, and memorably covered by The Pogues, also ? while giving the melody big licks via that unlikeliest of musical vehicles in support of such things, a genuine didgeridoo, but that?s another story entirely!)

The reason we never expected to see the lad ever again was simple. Because he?d been flogging lots of his paintings at supporters? club meetings in order to finance a forthcoming permanent move to New Zealand, seeing him roll up in this particular West Australian pub, and five years further down the line was, for us, an experience horribly akin to the undoubtedly unsettling one Macbeth must have had on seeing Banquo?s ghost for the first time! And yes ? he was there primarily to flog some of his recent work to Aussie Baggies. Mind you, after getting over the shock, we quickly discovered why the sudden change of plan.

Apparently, at that time ? I?ve absolutely no idea as to whether this particular loophole has since been closed or not, so don?t try this at home without some careful legal research beforehand, kids ? it was perfectly lawful to immigrate into Australia after a lengthy period of residence in The Land Of The Great White Cloud (well, that?s what the Maoris still call the place, and their version does sound much more evocative than the one the Brits still use, doesn?t it?). Nice to hear from you once more, mate, and we look forward to seeing you again the very next time we go Down Under, which won?t be too long, I promise.

And that?s about it for the moment. Next week, I?ll be primarily occupied in the never-ending task of researching for my other half?s book. I?ve a funny feeling Smethwick Library are going to get heartily sick of me over the next two or three days. Unless something really important happens to our favourite football club in the meantime, consider me next hitting the airwaves this Friday night coming, nicely in time for our Blackburn trip, of course.

 - Glynis Wright

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