The Diary

07 February 2005: Relegation - Costs And Consequences?

?Nothing settles the mind of a man more wonderfully than the fact he?s going to be hanged tomorrow.? That?s what the great Doctor Johnson, man of Lichfield, and of letters, said apropos release from chronic worry much accentuated by the rapid disappearance of viable survival options, and never have those few words been so true as in the case of our favourite football club. Yes, I know, there?s still points to be played for out there, and Southampton could only draw today, that Everton equaliser coming in the 90th minute (sound familiar?), but consider the case for the prosecution, my learned friends.

With around two thirds of the season now water under the bridge, we've won just TWO Premiership games in that time, and both of those at home. As far as on the road is concerned, Cup success at Deepdale apart, we haven't won a match since April last year. Yep, ?that? Sunderland fixture, the one that effectively launched us into our current situation. Chuck into the mix the currently-embarrassing fact we can't even beat the teams around us (yes, I know, we?ve had some appalling bad luck of late, but having on your side a benevolent deity isn?t always something you can depend upon in these situations. Point-accumulating luck on the scale of the 2001 caper is about as rare as rocking-horse organic waste, being totally realistic about such matters), and our next two League games postponed while the majority of our relegation rivals are playing, no wonder we?re free-falling from the top-flight. The only variable in the equation left is the size of the hole in the ground we make when we finally hit the deck. With the Blues fixture taking place on the Sabbath, some of our opponents will have played three games before we kick-off. Assuming worst-case scenario, the discrepancy could easily be much bigger come our next scheduled League game, which is in a month's time.

As I commented several weeks ago, ?It?s all the hope I can?t stand?.? No more sleepless nights, or journeying to games with stomachs doing more revolutions than a domestic automatic washing machine on ?fast spin?, no more pre-match frantic seeking out of ?lucky mascots? long-forgotten, no more frenzied perusal of the fixture list to identify games where we might stand a reasonable chance of picking up points, no more the brain (or alcohol, or, for the more adventurous, rapid-acting mind-altering substances) drawing a merciful veil over the true seriousness of the situation: it?s all kaput, finally. Our fate has been sealed, we know our destiny for the next twelve months, at least, so in the time that?s left, let?s make the most of the sudden release of tension yesterday?s result produced.

It?s a bit like being diagnosed with a terrible disease, or losing someone really important in your life. People react in different ways; some take the bad news in dumbstruck silence, or cry bitterly, usually for what might have been. Others, like Dylan Thomas, ?rage, rage, against the dying of the light?. And, because we?re all human, with accompanying human frailties, a substantial minority can only find release in lashing out, either physically or mentally, at the first person they encounter, usually a loved one. The bitter regret follows afterwards. Come to think about it, I daresay Robbo and his gang are showing yet another classical reaction right now: ?I?ve done the best I can, slogged my guts out, never once complained, followed advice to the letter - so why me??

Come the final whistle, at Carrow Road, I saw pretty much all of those possible responses volcanically erupt in that away end, and quite a few others as well. As we four sadly descended down the steps and into the bowels of the stand, one bloke in particular seemed to want to take on the entire population of Norwich, so grief-struck was his response to what he?d just witnessed. Another, a young lady, seemed about to vent her spleen upon what looked very much like her dad. Without deliberately seeking to belittle anyone who has genuinely lost a loved one recently, or been given a life-threatening diagnosis, in its own way, relegation is very much like a bereavement, and we Baggies all need time, both precious and private, to properly grieve.

Next season, a possible promotion push, who stays, who goes ? we have to look at that sort of thing NOW. Prioritise our playing ?wish-list?, look closely at what we already have out there, then, as soon as practicable, make those exploratory moves, butter up those chairmen. Who would do us proud in the Championship? Who will be lured elsewhere the moment the current season finishes? Which of our playing staff would be worth hanging on to, if at all possible? How much are we prepared to shell out to ensure some of our current players do decide to give the lower sphere a go for a season, at the very least? How much damage-limitation needs to be done via the transfer market? Although we?re currently cursing to merry Hell TV, and its unbelievable capacity for mucking supporters about with daft kick-off times, every last bit of cash we can wheedle out of Murdoch?s mob, or The Beeb, this time round, could well prove vital to our prospects of getting out next season. Parachute payments apart, our income will reduce drastically.

One of those decisions has already been taken, it would seem. Amidst all the tumult of yesterday?s defeat, a welcome piece of news, a small one, sure, but something that could prove absolutely crucial to our chances of success next term. I refer, of course, to Big Dave, and his new three and a half year contract, as reported in The People today. Not the most able performer at our level, sure, but he's solid, a tremendous header of the ball, and will literally run himself into the ground for the cause. And he has substantial experience at that level. Additionally, he has fine motivational skills ? having been on the receiving end of one of his more earnest pep-talks once, I can personally vouch for his abilities in that important area - and, most vital of all, he possesses leadership qualities at the back that nobody else at the club currently has. He?s also an excellent role-model, for both younger players and supporters, and is therefore a superlative ambassador for our club. I can?t think of a better person to lead our journey out of the wilderness next season.

And, of course, we might conceivably start 2005-06 without Rob Hulse. Leeds seem awfully keen to acquire his services right now. Reports suggest either completion of a permanent deal within three weeks, or taking the lad on a loan basis, with a view to signing him properly once the dust?s had a chance to settle down. I can see the attraction; regular first?team football, he knows the Championship well enough, and Greegs is already there, of course, so settling in wouldn?t prove too vexatious. What?s bugging me, though, is this; sure, we never quite got the best out of the lad while he was with us, and for various reasons, both good and bad, but if anyone can restore his near-lethal goalscoring abilities to their former level, it?s got to be Robbo, assuming he chooses to carry on in the same entertaining style he?s been cultivating at the club, of course. With a decent amount of service from the flanks etc., we might just hit the same sort of pay-dirt as Dario Gradi did during Rob?s Crewe days. It?s for that reason I reckon flogging him off to the Yorkshire side might yet prove to be a mistake. James O?Connor is another who may not be at the club too long. I?ve seen reports today that Burnley are sniffing again, and are keen to sort something out, either as a loan deal, or permanently. Whichever way the mop flops, I?m sure he?ll do them proud.

Poor AJ. He?ll be out for the remainder of the season, according to the club website yesterday. A recent exploratory op showed he?d sustained a knee injury far worse than originally thought. Coming across to me as the sort of person who wouldn?t be at all happy with an enforced pipe-and-slippers domestic routine, albeit one of a temporary nature, I bet he?s feeling really miserable right now. Realistically, though, we haven?t really missed him out there in the middle; perhaps he was a bit of a headless chicken after all. Will Robbo show him the door come the merry month of May? There?s also Russell Hoult to consider. I don?t know if it?s the result of that back injury of his affecting his performance much more than previously thought, or whether it?s a dramatic loss of form causing the problem, but we might well have to take some unpleasant decisions about his future also. A pity, as he?s such a likeable chap off the field, but football is now a dog-eat-dog sort of profession, and failure, especially the embarrassing variety, isn?t readily tolerated. Certainly, a significant question now hangs around his custodial ability, of late. Two or three seasons ago, spilling a ball in the fashion he did to concede yesterday?s first-half equaliser would have been unthinkable. At the time, there was even talk around, serious discussion, mind, not media hype, of his possible inclusion in the England set-up. Right now, I watch and fearfully wonder every time he goes for a high curling cross.

Jason Koumas? While we?ve been totally enmeshed in the drama of our struggle to survive, he seems to be the bloke everyone has forgotten about. Just what is it with him? We know he has the talent, you have only to remember the last time we played at this level to realise that. Lots of rumours, of course, as to why he?s currently failing to deliver the goods, but whatever the cause of his rapid decline, carry on in similar vein, and he?ll be out of the door, and quicker than a cat that?s nicked the Sunday joint, as well. Patience and tolerance is not a prominent feature of the game at this level, and that?s why he might well be considered ?damaged goods? should we decide to sell. If he genuinely wants to continue in the top-flight, then the former Merseyside lad has to get his act together, and quick. Darren Purse? Moving rapidly on?? The playing staff will have to be drastically pruned come May, no ?passengers? wanted, so all of the above could well be victims of that policy. And that leads me to ponder mightily upon the delicate issue of who is likely to soldier on in the Championship.

Because of their relatively recent arrival on our shores, Campbell and Chaplow will very likely stay. Even with the best will in the world, you can?t exactly call our ex-Evertonian a spring chicken, can you? And he?s already expressed an intent to stick with us should we plunge from the scaffold. But those still-sharp predatory instincts of his will suit us perfectly at that level, assuming he can properly adjust to the differing playing style needed for success, of course. Chaplow is still a kid, relatively speaking, and has much to learn, but again, his previous Championship experience with Burnley will stand him in good stead. And in Robbo, you?ve got one hell of a teacher, and a much-respected one, as well. ?Show us your medals? Which particular trophy cabinet do you want to see, kid?? Unless Fergie has a change of mind of cataclysmic proportions, Kieran Richardson, highly-talented though he is, will head straight back to Old Trafford. He?s very much the future for Man United; if what we?ve seen over the course of the last two games (well, one and a half, if you really want to split hairs over this) continues to be maintained or improved upon, then I can easily see first team appearances for the lad?s ?proper? club beckoning next term.

So much for that group, then. We now look at those who have given us sterling service over recent months, the likes of Gera, Earnie, Greening, Wallwork, even. And Clem. To mangle those famous Clash lyrics slightly, ?Should they stay, or should they go?? As far as Wallwork?s concerned, every experience he?s had of Robbo has been positive thus far. First at Bradford, and now here, our manager quietly salvaged an almost-ruined playing career from the ashes. Had not our leader sent him to the Yorkshire club in the first place, I strongly suspect he would have been lost to us by now. Certainly, it was somewhat fortuitous for the lad that the arrival of Robbo ensured him finally getting a fair crack of the Hawthorns whip ? and, my goodness, hasn?t he repaid us? Already a first-team regular, I would like to think basic loyalty to his saviour would prevail over more mercenary forces.

Earnie? Hmmmm. Might prove much more tricky, that one. Goals are the sticking point there, and all at top-level. Given his mushrooming confidence and some much-improved service, there might be 15 goals or so in him come the end of term. That makes him a commodity, a most saleable one indeed, eminently desirable to other Premier League clubs wanting some extra firepower. He?s only a lad, really, so there?s the tantalising prospect for him of more money, more Prem games, which means more TV exposure, which would surely lead to a stronger case for him leading the Welsh line. Everyone, even paragons of self-denying virtue, have their price, and there's sure a lot of temptation out there. Steve The Miser would prostitute his very soul for a crummy pound coin found on the pavement, so it?s all relative, really. Think Blackburn Rovers, for example: their need for a reliable goalscorer, Uncle Jack?s beyond-the-grave bankrolling burning a giant-sized hole in the Ewood park biscuit tin, the Mark Hughes factor. Need I say more?

Greening? Our Jesus look-alike?s first club was York City, but after that it was Premiership all the way. Firstly Man U, then Boro, then Albion. Fair play to Megson for spotting his potential in the first place, as he's featuring quite prominently now in the "most assists" stats. Versatile too, right age, no trouble to anybody, a gaffer?s dream, really. Don?t be surprised if he gets offers. Clearly he wants to play regularly, as opposed to being a squad player, so that may make a difference to his ultimate destination. Given the magnitude of the Robbo respect-factor, I would like to think he?d want to stay with us, but there?s no absolute guarantee of that, sadly. Gera? He really does have to be this season?s Premiership bargain-buy; once more, our former gaffer has to be congratulated on spotting his considerable potential in the first place. What he can do with a ball totally defies description at times. Such is his complete mastery of the art, it wouldn?t surprise me at all to see him fitting the thing with a collar and lead, then taking it for regular walks around the block. How the hell he gets to some of those headers of his will also remain a complete mystery; does he possess the secret of antigravity, or something? I think we ought to be told. I may be wrong, here, but I suspect he?d be heading out of the door and out of our lives were a suitable offer to land on his breakfast table. Clem, having just signed on the dotted, will remain in situ, I reckon. This season, he's truly blossomed, especially over the course of recent weeks.

There is, of course, another consideration to take into account, a remote one admittedly, but what are the chances of Robbo himself jumping ship? Having used the club as a lever to get him back into top-flight management once more, make the media really sit up and notice him, that prospect, unsavoury as it is, might also rear its ugly head over the next few months. Not a prospect I would relish, as it?s only because of his attacking and entertaining ethos I?m enjoying Albion games once more. Again, I?m buoyed by the knowledge he stayed so long at Boro, but he does have ?previous?, remember. I?m on about 1980, Big Ron?s on-the-sly amorous advances in his direction, and not too long after he?d put pen to paper on a five year deal. Naw, surely not?

As we can see, the decisions we make come the end of the current season could well make or mar our chances of doing an upwards ?boing? for the third time of asking. Our leaders really must have their ?thinking head? in place when the eventual retained list is discussed and produced. There?s the pressing need to cut down on overheads, sure, but that?s surely got to be offset against keeping a nucleus of players still familiar with the territory, together with a generous sprinkling of some sufficiently skilled to pass oppositions half to death. What was the Nationwide has always been an environment where survival of the fittest is king, but over recent years, competition has grown even more intense than was previously imaginable. It?s the pressing need for the big bucks lying at the end of the rainbow that?s greatly exacerbated the problem. Anyone around tenth position or higher is in with a reasonable chance of getting out ? remember Palace, and the play-offs last term? ? so we?ve no God-given right to make it a triple. What we should have, though, is sufficient skills to grab those vital goals, defy the best attempts of the thugs to put our people in hospital ? yes, Mr. Warnock, your lot! - make the chances for the scorers to put away, chase and chase in the middle, frustrate opposition attacks, make that ball Superglue-stuck to the gloves with every cross the opposition attempts. In the past, I?ve seen many arguments mooted as to why the passing game isn?t the correct playing style to get you out of that league. Next time round, I?d really love to see us prove that theory about as dead wrong as the one postulating the existence of the Philosopher?s Stone back in the Middle Ages. Remember Ipswich? Man City? Go on, Robbo ? make my season.

And finally?. Not that much going on as far as the Albion?s social scene is concerned next week, so I?ll be back and pitching around Friday night. Tomorrow, I?ll be calling in on Boots, and grabbing copies of that Delia Smith pic for both The Fart and The Noise. Seems they have an all-singing, all-dancing widgery-gadget there that lets you edit, crop, darken and lighten digital pictures as much as you want, so that?s where you?ll find me. A brand-new Dick on sale for those travelling to White Hart Lane come Saturday, assuming something totally disastrous doesn?t happen to our mad Welsh printer en-route to GD Towers, of course. Surely even he?s exhausted his repertoire of potentially-calamitous episodes, by now?

 - Glynis Wright

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