The Diary

31 January 2005: Fergie To Robbo - "I Could Be So Good For You"?

A hard bargain indeed, which is the main reason why I?ve been dosing myself up with just about every over-the-counter remedy that you can shake a sneeze-soaked hanky at over the last twelve hours or so; good job I?d just re-stocked the old medicine chest, then, wasn?t it? Annoying as colds undoubtedly are, it?s not so much the snot-ridden symptoms that bother me, it?s the possibility the problem might worsen and keep me from the ground come Tuesday night. That Palace game, plus our unquestionably-immense desire to end up three points better off come the end of the full span, makes it a ?must-see? for me. My Halfords Lane Stand neighbours might not concur, mind; come Wednesday night, they could well be displaying symptoms also, and for that I can only proffer sincere apologies in advance. Personally, I blame my other half, so if you sit anywhere near me, don?t forget to point out the errors of his ways to him as well.

Strange, isn?t it? While running yesterday?s determined performance through my head today, one mental image quickly conjured up was that of Jonathan Greening constantly running through brick walls on the flank. Appearances certainly can be deceptive; when in possession, flying lank locks, slightly-hunched shoulders, bowed head and everything, he conveys to supporters and neutrals alike the overwhelming impression of having come straight from auditions for ?The Hunchback Of Notre Dame?. Oh, and also by giving everyone the erroneous impression he?s got the turning circle of a supertanker ? but you?d be dead wrong to swallow that one as well. What really impresses me about the lad, though, is the useful habit he has of fending off just about anything and everything the opposition can chuck at him, plus that frighteningly-good long-range shooting ability of his. Oh, and he?s also a pretty nifty turner of water into wine, so the catering-wallahs at The Shrine assure me. One final thought. Just don?t count on him making the first-team squad in time for Easter week. OK?

And then there?s The Mighty Zoltan, of course. Criticise Meggo all you like, but from the day he first signed the fragile-looking Hungarian at the beginning of the current season, you didn?t have to be Einstein (or Marshall Tito, for that matter) to realise Albion had got lucky. The way he gets the ball, then runs at the opposition with it, sometimes puts me in mind of Chippy Clark ? or could that be down to his seeming slightness of build? It took me quite some time to get round the fact he?s a genuine six-footer, but he is, honest. Thus far, he?s adapted to the Premiership stage wonderfully, and the arrival of Robbo on the scene must have given him a completely new lease of footballing life. Yesterday, he had Spurs at sixes and sevens for much of the time, and was even rated man of the match by some. Should the worst happen come May, can we hold on to him?

Talking about holding on to players, I?m really pleased to hear Clem?s finally signed a five-year deal with the club. With our previous manager, as I understand it, he wasn?t exactly having the best of times, which resulted in a significant dip in performance, which then led to The Brummie getting on his back, which then led to even more misery, which then led?.. Aw, you get my drift. Looking on the other side of the coin, his transformation since the arrival of Robbo has been stunning, cataclysmic, almost.

Instead of going into ?headless chicken? mode every time he?s caught in a dangerous position, he?s now taking the trouble to actually try to play his way out of vexatious defensive problems, and in a delightfully-skilful manner that?s good to see. Now he?s finally fulfilling all that early promise of his, and at just at the right time for us, I reckon. Sure, there?s still some residual glitches in his game to iron out ? that kamikaze tendency of his to lose possession at awkward moments will do for starters ? but it?s nothing a bit more expert coaching can?t iron out.

Yesterday, I mentioned rumours of a late transfer-window signing, and no-one present at the game really knowing all that much about the circumstances leading to Robbo?s latest capture, or a name, come to think about it. Still, the mystery?s now been solved, so welcome to the ?pleasure dome? Kieran Richardson, a young-ish Manchester United midfielder, who yesterday sorted his loan move to The Hawthorns until the end of the season. I can only assume that Robbo?s close links with his former club (not to mention those with his former gaffer, Sir Alex Ferguson, of course) finally swung it for us.

You might want to argue that the deal?s effectively a ?win-win? thing for both parties. Fergie gets to bring on one of his young talents by giving him a taste, however brief, of Premiership first-team football, while Robbo himself gets to gain from a further option at his disposal until the end of term and, salary apart, with minimal risk of too much cash being flashed; should the marriage then end in divorce, it?s Man Urinal?s problem, not ours. Cue for yet another proverb ? ?Never look a gift horse in the mouth? ? or, if you want to go all cynical about it: ?What?s the catch?? An interesting little poser, that; when Ronnie Wallwork set foot in The Shrine following that free transfer from Old Trafford a couple of seasons ago, early promise apart, most of us were inclined to categorise him as a Fergie cast-off, despite all the nice things Stretford?s most prominent senior citizen said about him at the time.

Let?s be honest with ourselves here. Last season, most Baggies, myself included, really did think we?d been flogged a pig in a poke, that Fergie had manipulated the transfer in order to tidy up and shift to the municipal dump one of his lesser lights. Not only that, his seemingly miserable attitude towards our supporters didn?t exactly do much to secure victory in the ongoing battle to win over Baggie hearts and minds. Following Meggo?s loan deal with Bradford, an ignominious slither down the lower divisions beckoned for the lad ? then City were suddenly enmeshed in financial troubles of their own, and relegated, twin events that quickly brought Ronnie back to us, of course. A lengthy and sorrowful sojourn in our reserves was predicted ? and then Meggo left the club, back came Robbo, who knew from his Bradford days that the lad really was worth a second chance. The rest?s history, of course.

And that?s what could be repeating itself, here ? history, I mean. I?ll cheerfully admit I got it badly wrong about Fergie?s motives in wanting to shift Wallwork in the first place, so this time round, I?m far more inclined to believe we might well have gained yet another asset courtesy United?s fiery-mouthed knight of the realm. According to the Albion website, the lad scored twice in 21 appearances for United, including 11 as a substitute. He might well have been a fringe player for them, but that doesn?t necessarily brand you a failure; it?s all relative. What doesn?t suit the prawn sandwich eaters could well walk straight into a lower division first team squad. Because of their continual high-profile status, not to mention their well-known tendency to grab while still at school the best young talent the country can offer, most Manc so-called ?cast-offs? do find themselves assuming the starring role at clubs of a decent standard, eventually.

Describing him as athletic, quick and left-footed, Robbo has quite rightly warned Richardson he'll be competing directly against Zoltan Gera and Jonathan Greening for games, but he doesn?t seem to mind that at all. The facilities provided for players at our place might not be as well-appointed as those laid on for the Old Trafford elite, but what the lad will gain by coming to us on loan is a half-decent chance of having some first team games under his belt by the time he goes back. Either way, everyone benefits from the deal, bean-counters included.

Anyone else notice something peculiar about yesterday?s game? No Koumas, either on the bench, or in the side? I?m still wondering why; just what the hell is going on? Could it be there?s been a late transfer bid from Everton, say? I?m certainly not party to any decisions the club might have already made about his future ? the day I get a bulky item in the post indicating it?s come from our board will be the one I immediately plunge said suspect package into a bucket of water, then phone for the Bomb Squad ? but that doesn?t prevent me from speculating Something Is Up. Certainly, now we?ve got Richardson on loan, the need for someone experienced in the Koumas role has significantly decreased. Keep yer lugholes pinned back tomorrow; this sorry saga might yet sprout legs of its own.

And finally?..One. It?s Instant Blackmail time, folks, and what a whoop-di-doo have I found for you tonight. This afternoon, we had a mail from the wife of an Albion supporter very well known in one particular branch ? and did we giggle. What happened? Well, last Monday, having taken a closer look than usual at the fixture list, the guy?s missus suddenly realised that her hubby?s favourite football club were due to play at Norwich come the fifth of next month, and at their place as well.

The guy?s partner isn?t all that terribly keen on football, normally, but remembering her other half?s nerve-racked reasoning this was going to be quite an important fixture, and the fact her beloved would very likely be straining at the leash just to be there, she went and booked a ticket for him over the phone, and just to be extra thoughtful and considerate, secured for him also a seat on the coach that normally went from Kidderminster. Because of finances stretched to their elastic limit, almost - having several children to raise, and our informant working part time only as well, such frivolity was rapidly deemed a bit of luxury, one they could ill afford - but realising the importance of the next three fixtures on the calendar, she then went ahead and did it anyway. Aaah, the things we do for love!

Everything would have been just fine and dandy most times, but that same evening, when she eagerly related to her other half what she?d done, and completely off her own bat as well, what she got by way of reply - "Well it's not a match I would have chosen. It's a bloody long way to Norwich, and it's a terrible journey, anyway, so I?m not going" ? wasn?t the sort of response she?d been expecting, let me assure you. What was really embarrassing, though, was having to go back to the ground the following Friday to obtain a refund. Oh, and another small detail. As poor wifey joked tonight, you really do have to question his loyalty to the Albion by not wanting to go to such a crucial match in the first place!

Two. Both our Fifth Round Cup draw and the closure of the transfer window until August coincide tomorrow, twin events that should add a smidgen of extra spice to a day spent far too frantically for most of the time. Quite a few important issues should be further clarified, though. Chaplow ? will he put pen to paper tomorrow, and now we?ve dangled O?Connor under the opulent snouts of the Burnley board once more, will they now agree to do a swap? Assuming we get past Spurs, will the draw prove advantageous for us? Will Forest really acquire Big Dave? Will they go down? All that, and a crunch game with Palace the following night: now where the hell did I put those bloody tranquillisers?

 - Glynis Wright

Contact the Author

Diary Index