The Diary

05 January 2005: All The Talk Of The Toon

It?s always great to begin this nightly piece with a dirty great smile on my face ? and, thanks to ?Im Indoors, I now have one going pretty much from ear to ear. How come? The Dingles have lost 2-0 tonight, that?s why! Is this what?s meant by making a late run for the play-offs, ?doing a Crystal Palace?, I wonder? They were talking out of their fundaments even before the game started (what they won?t, or can?t, admit is that Palace got lucky, and only grabbed sixth place on the last day, and that by default, if my memory serves me correctly. After that, once in the play-off lottery, they somehow managed to purchase the winning ticket so that?s their season pretty much over. Trouble is, though, if our Dingle friends don?t go up, that means we?ll very likely be renewing once more a years-old unpleasant acquaintance come May, severed abruptly by our first promotion, and, a year further down the line, theirs. Oh, and yet another indication the world?s gone completely crazy; according to my other half, Man City have drawn at Highbury. Incredible, isn?t it? Face us, and they play like a half-rotted bag of turnips, go to London and the home of The Arse, and they looked like potting all the points, only to dip very late doors! I know I said they alternately blew hot and cold in my write-up last week, but what I clearly didn?t realise was how wonderfully they?d illustrate that very same fact for me within the space of around seven days.

Now the holiday is well and truly over, and the transfer window fully up and running, the next four weeks should at least give us some indication of the way our favourite football club want to play things over the remainder of the season. The dilemma is this: do we simply accept we?re dropping like a stone, and scour the marketplace for people who would very likely make outstanding contributions at Championship level, or do we go for broke, and gamble on attracting some classy people with a view towards kicking the ?bottom at Christmas? trend, and actually getting ourselves out of the smelly stuff? I noticed that earlier in the day, fellow-strugglers Southampton flashed the cash in quantity, so it?s no surprise that all my gut instincts are telling me we should be in the marketplace NOW, before all the remaining bargain buys all get snapped up.

Still, things might be on the move, finally. To all outward appearances, Almeyda looks like a done deal ? although a little note of caution does suggest I put my libation to the gods on hold until there?s concrete proof available he?s genuinely ours ? but there?s also welcome news today that Robson is set to offer ?3 million for Juventus defender Igor Tudor this week. As the chances of the deal coming off are predicated on the capture of the aforementioned Almeyda, his mate, our gaffer is hoping that with him signing on the dotted line, that will convince Tudor to reject the amorous advances of Standard Liege and sign with us Johnny-No-Mates instead. Juve director general Luciano Moggi (what a lovely surname; does he like fish and cream, and yowling on garden walls at night, by any chance?) has confirmed Tudor can leave, and if we then flash the appropriate amount of cash, the Croatia international will be ours.

Should we fail to take full advantage, I can only see the season ending one way. I have noticed today emotive correspondence on the mailing-list to the effect that people were bang out of order in the Halfords for loudly bawling at our manager to change things around last night, as we were doing OK, but let?s not delude ourselves, here. That gutsy bloodless draw, splendid though it was, was achieved primarily because pretty much all of Newcastle?s strike force was hors de combat for one reason or another. They may not have been firing on all four cylinders, but what fleeting moments of brilliance I did see were proof enough in my eyes that had they been able to select from a fully-fit squad, they would have probably wiped the floor with us. That?s another reason why I was so bloody annoyed we couldn?t get more than a point out of them last night.

Of one thing I?m sure; among other things, that performance certainly highlighted our pressing need for another class act up front. Earnie, bless his little legs, was played out of position, and in any case, isn?t exactly the recipient of choice for balls constantly whanged high into orbit at the back, only to descend at a rate of knots once they reach the opposition?s half of the field. The Horse got stuck in, all right, but lumbered. And stuffed up completely on one of the rare copper-bottomed chances we had of snatching all the points. Kanu? That wasn?t his sort of game, really, but what really does surprise me about him is his woeful form in the air. How tall is he? Six foot six? Surely he should be far more capable of getting to the high stuff than he is at present? Having said that, you might also care to argue that strikers are only as good as the supply they receive from the engine-room; deprive them of that, as happened last night, sometimes, and things then become very difficult indeed.

Additionally, and an issue closely linked with the end of the previous paragraph, why the absence of both Gera and Greening? Plus Koumas? That I?ll never really comprehend, but I can only assume that the idea of sticking Zoltan on the bench, and the last two completely out of sight, was to rest them. All have given sterling service over the past few months, and not a little pleasure; I?d be somewhat disconcerted were their absence to continue for much longer. Looking at the positives, though, Clem really showed his true potential to be a class act last night; gritty, gutsy, and with not a little old-fashioned skill thrown in for good measure. Good on him, as he?s a personable sort of lad, and is now beginning to shine again, after a truly rotten dip in form. Purse? Yes, he did give it everything at the back, but being the serial blunderer he is, I?d be very much happier with someone else in that role. Tudor, maybe?

Other good features of last night?s performance? Well, team spirit seemed much better than was the case pre-Christmas, everyone seemingly keen on getting stuck in and winning some points for us. No complaints about effort from this neck of the woods. On the few occasions he had to do anything, Houlty did superbly. We also seemed to perform pretty well at the back, one or two nerve-shredding clangers aside. Despite that, though, I?m still not happy about Albrechtsen; he doesn?t look the part at all, but then again, being played on completely the wrong side of the park doesn?t help either. But what about AJ? A revelation he was, the tigerish way he got stuck in out there, Rapunzel hair flying in all directions as he did so. Sure, perhaps it wasn?t really all that wise to run around like a looney in the middle, and damn near get sent off as a result of such frenzied activities, but at least he cared enough to give it his all. Players can do what the hell they like and incur my displeasure, but I?ll never, ever criticise someone for trying, genuinely grafting, even, for the cause.

And, now we can perceive a little more light showing at the end of the tunnel, we?ve decided to travel to Norwich when we play them in February, after all. Yeah, yeah, I know: we were intending to give that one the old heave-ho, on account of the sheer distance involved travelling to East Anglia, only to end up on the wrong end of a dicking. That, plus the cost. So, what?s changed, then? Simple - we can all genuinely perceive, success in the transfer market this month permitting, of course, a slight lessening of that awfully depressing leaden sensation in our guts acquired each time we four step into the Dickmobile for an away game these days. You know, the one that inwardly tells you regularly watching a moribund side lose by a three or four-goal margin isn?t exactly entertainment as we know it, Jim. Things are getting better, almost imperceptibly, some might say, but nevertheless, things are genuinely beginning to improve, gradually. Norwich is also a lovely city, the journey?s quite pleasant, ?Im Indoors will have had the week preceding the game off as leave, so there?s no banked ?up tiredness issue at play, either. It only remains for me to pick up those tickets from the club, sometime next week, no doubt.

A great big ?well done?, everyone involved in that almighty bucket collection for South East Asia tsunami victims at the ground last night. According to tonight?s E and S, around ten grand was raised by the Rotary Society (for the benefit of foreign Baggies reading this, they?re an organisation consisting primarily of local business people, who also fund-raise for charity from time to time), which meant, as our football club had pledged to match what they raised pound for pound, the astonishing sum of twenty grand heading for the main relief fund. Bloody good going, that; when we, plus various other supporter organisations, held a bucket collection for The King?s memorial, some three or four seasons back, between us all, we managed to collect around eight grand on the day, and on the basis of that, I anticipated a similar sum being raised last night. To more than double that was absolutely tremendous. Let?s hope all this generosity ends up where it rightly should; in my experience, the minute politicians start to get involved in such ventures, either relief money gets diverted to funds elsewhere, or ?strings? get attached to the provision of such aid by wealthier countries.

And finally?. One. Well done to DJ Matthew and his inspirational idea of playing the theme tune from ?The Great Escape? over the PA at the conclusion of last night?s game. I heard it as I was exiting the stand come the final whistle, and on realising what it was, laughed like a bloody drain. I?m not sure if it was intended as a form of psychological warfare, but knowing just a little about the subject myself (psychology, not the ?warfare? bit, honest!), what a splendid way of inculcating an ?us against the world? mentality among all our followers, not to mention players! Team spirit, total commitment, pride, togetherness, that?s what it?s all about. That ?I go down, you go down??, etc. chant?s very similar in meaning: I doubt very severely as to whether the original ?songwriter? possessed any qualifications at all in that field, but the sentiments expressed within still work for me.Intentional or not, Matthew might just have struck oil there with that truly serendipitous choice of his.

Two?? I?m still trying to get over our manager?s comments, made in last night?s programme, that our recent draw with Manchester City was one of ?hard work, quality and commitment?. Especially the ?quality? bit. Whatever you were on when you penned that, Robbo, can I have some as well? Surely you must have been completely in the grip of some strong intoxicant or another at the time? And there?s more. Since when has supporters loudly advocating the eminently sensible strategy of playing two up front with only ten men, while on the wrong end of a 1-0 scoreline, and with the clock relentlessly running down, constituted ?tactical naivety?? Nought out of ten for that one, Robbo. Unlike yours, our ranks might not be stuffed full of people with top coaching qualifications to their credit, sure, but we do tend to pride ourselves on possessing that little bit more tactical nous and awareness than most, and justifiably so. To rubbish us, even in that somewhat oblique fashion of yours, then further insult our intelligence by implying the entire thing was all part of a cunning plan, really, but being supporters, you weren?t anywhere near sophisticated enough to realise that fact, ho, ho, isn?t exactly going to do much in the way of fostering mutually cordial relationships between both camps, now, is it?

 - Glynis Wright

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