The Diary

16 November 2004: Villa Seal Aggborough Reserve Victory

Reflecting on our defeat some 24 hours after the event, I have to say I?m pretty much in agreement with Jesus lookalike Jonathan Greening, who lays the blame pretty much on the huge number of missed chances we had, very much including that almighty mullock from Kanu just before the end. Blimey, it was easier to shove the thing into the back of the net than send it flying over the top of the netting! Come to think about it, even I could have done it, knackered back and all. Incidentally, Ajax were reportedly watching him yesterday; there?s rumours flying around that he?s going to take his services elsewhere now Megson has flown the Hawthorns coop. If the Dutch club really did have scouts at yesterday?s game, I bet they were really impressed by that awful miss.

What also has to be remembered about yesterday, though, is the plain fact that Robbo and his deputy have only had but three short days to assess the squad we have at present. And, from what I saw tonight at Kiddy, that process is still going on. Also, it?s mighty difficult for established first-teamers to instantly ditch the Megson habits so painfully acquired over the last four and a bit years. It does no good whatsoever to completely condemn out of hand our new manager?s methods and tactics on the strength of one narrow defeat, almighty last-minute goalmouth clangers (see above) notwithstanding. Still, to every cloud there is but a silver lining; mention of that Kanu howler when discussing yesterday?s game on the way to Kiddy for tonight?s reserve encounter ? Villa, spit - prompted me to dig deeply into the innermost recesses of my memory and come up with other glaring examples of the strikers? art at its worst. You ready for this little lot, then?

Without straining my brain too much, there?s Luther Blissett?s abomination right in front of goal at Orient about 12 years ago, then there?s Andy Hunt?s embarrassing howler at Bradford, just after we?d signed him from Newcastle. A real catastrophe, that one, but for a repeat of what happened yesterday, you only have to look no further than ? wait for it! ? Paul Williams?s (remember him and weep, ye people!) disaster-ridden goal attempt versus Hull when we were in the Third. Both his circumstances and those of Kanu were very similar as far as events on the pitch were concerned, but somehow, I reckon that the Grand Canyon-wide gulf in terms of ability and skills between both players could well mean Kanu getting rather upset by the comparison I?ve just made, should he ever happen to read it! Oh, and anyone who feels they can contribute further to the discussion, feel free to pitch in with even worse examples, I?d be highly delighted if they do, as time seems to have mercifully scabbed over the more horrific examples of this particular genre as far as I?m concerned.

It now appears that Robson gave Contra his chance to prove his worth on the strength of his playing record in the Spanish League and for Romania. And his appearance at right half yesterday wasn?t that bad at all, what with setting up Earnie for the equaliser, and everything. Amazing, a bloke who our previous manager wouldn?t give the time of day for, even, and come a change of regime, the guy has his true worth instantly recognised, and what?s more, comes up with the goods on the pitch the first senior game he plays. What other undiscovered gems have we silently rotting away in the stiffs, I wonder? Also impressive yesterday was Big Dave, who didn?t miss much in the way of headers at the back. I assume Robbo deliberately stuck him there with that purpose in mind, and didn?t he do well at it?

It also appears that Jeremy Peace is looking to take the club out of the AIM, and to reduce the size of our present squad by 25%. As my knowledge of financial affairs is on a par with that of the average Dingle regarding nuclear physics, it?s not really for me to comment about that one, although I do understand that by doing so, we would save a considerable sum of money. What might be more interesting is Jeremy?s avowed aim of trimming the playing staff. That decision doesn?t surprise me, as I?d thought we were a tad overmanned anyway; what will be interesting is who is eventually scheduled to take the next train out of New Street and into the sunset. Again, the assessment programme presumably being undertaken by the new managerial set-up will have that as part of their brief already. Shouldn?t be too heart-searching to come up with some candidates, as not a few of our players have contracts that expire at the end of this season anyway, and others simply aren?t good enough at this level.

Well, at least we Dick Eds now have at least some idea of the answers, though, I suspect, not all of them by a long chalk. Tonight?s side versus the claret-and-spew persuasion had no less than five full internationals in it, and they were up against a Seals side stuffed full of cute little cubs, and seemingly ripe for a judicious bit of clubbing. As we entered Aggborough about five minutes before kick-off, we were greeted by the sound of Duran Duran?s ?The Reflex? on the PA system, a bit of early ?80?s nostalgia if there ever was one. And, as we took our seats, out came our reserves finest; among those ready to show what they were made of tonight was a new-rehabilitated Ronnie Wallwork, slotted in midfield, his preferred position, allegedly.

Essentially, the whole lot of them were on trial, including, presumably, a very vocal Gary Shelton giving it big licks on the touchline, as per usual. Quite frankly (no pun intended), I was surprised to still see him with the club post-Megson, but as ?Im Indoors commented at the time, the role of reserve team coach isn?t all that pivotal to the overall success of the club, so may have been granted a temporary reprieve by Robbo on that basis. Was our new leader watching, tonight? I couldn?t tell you, quite honestly, although reports via the mailing-list have it that Nigel Pearson was on hand to witness events on the pitch, which would explain why pretty much all of our lot busted a gut in an effort to impress right from the very start.

And, once more, the change in style was very noticeable; pass and move, balls to feet, very watchable indeed. The only snag was, as yesterday, turning all the free-flowing stuff into actual goals. And, also reminiscent of yesterday, we did look a tad vulnerable at the back, especially on the break. Even Jason Koumas seemed galvanised tonight; whether he felt it demeaning to have to play at that level after being feted as Albion?s Great Bright Hope for so long, I don?t know, but what I do know is that on one first-half occasion, so eager was he to grab a sniff of the ball, he was actually seen to track back for a distance of ? oooh ? some thirty yards or so. It?s Jase, Jim, but not as we know it!

As the game progressed further, we very much had the upper hand, but despite decent efforts from Patterson and Hulse that gave their keeper some food for thought, as in yesterday?s Premiership encounter, we were constantly let down by failure to apply the ?killer ball? consequently, the Villa net led a solitary existence throughout. And, with around 20 minutes elapsed, the strangest occurrence of all, though it was nothing whatsoever to do with what was happening on the pitch. A rattling of my little woolly hat, a quick muttering from me, sotto voce, of ?what silly prat?s messing about with my hat, then??, a swift turning of the head ? and there he was. Anc, sometime contributor to both the Boing mailing-list, also this column, albeit indirectly.

Anc, given his lengthy absence from the Albion scene thus far this season, was someone I?d long consigned to the same mental category as Lord Lucan and Shergar. The thought suddenly occurred to me that maybe, now I?d found him again, I should file a report with The National Enquirer, or The Sunday Sport, perhaps? Aw, you know the sort of thing I mean, ?Anc Ate My Hamster And Left it On the Moon?, or, maybe, ?Anc Rediscovered On Space-Alien Craft Parked In Dartmouth Square!?? Well, if they?ll swallow the unlikely concept of Elvis being spotted in an American fast-food joint, they?ll go for anything. And yes, he?s looking very well, and hoping to be back in Albion circulation before too long. Anc, that is, not Elvis.

But those details I gleaned during half-time. Right then, we had a game in progress, and one of our stars was Lloyd Dyer, who was repeatedly giving the fishy persuasion a torrid time on the left flank. Time after time he powered past his attendant defenders as if they weren?t there, taking the ball right to the bye-line, then getting in the cross, either straight away, or by dint of a little more nifty legwork along the goal-line. Most of the time, our phocine neighbours had to foul him to stop him in his tracks. A shame, then, there wasn?t anyone of similar enthusiastic tendencies on the other end of those hard-won balls. Something else we also learned was Jason Koumas?s inability to threaten during indirect free-kicks; thanks to Lloydy?s sterling efforts, we were awarded one for obstruction on the edge of the box, Jase decided to take it ? only to see the effort go so wide of the target, it ended up as a throw! Not that Villa could snigger too much; a minute later, they managed to repeat the feat themselves.

Half-time looming, the ?visitors? decided to pile on the pressure, forcing a series of corners; much to my surprise, I spotted Koumas actually tackling back out there. Some sort of astronomical phenomenon, presumably? The reason for the sudden resurgence of the Great Witton Unwashed in the game was simple; they, too wanted it, they, too, were being assessed, but with totally different motives in mind. Getting that all-important first-team break. And, as all that went on, yet another phenomenon was happening off the pitch. Such was the volume of the crowd, the stewards decided to open up the previously-barred terrace behind one of the goals. No sooner had they done it, there was a massed swarm of spectators heading in that direction; come half-time, that included our near-neighbours, The Meanest Man In West Bromwich, plus his ?accountancy-trainee? son, young David, ten, but going on sixty, so it seemed to me. Very much a ?terrace man? is our parsimonious treasurer; presumably, the thought it?s cheaper still lingers, despite the passing of such anachronisms from our place many years ago.

Time for the interval, then, and more retro-eighties and late seventies stuff from the PA, including Blondie?s ?The Tide Is High?, circa 1979, which was a charts smash around the time our new gaffer was turning it on for us as a player. Blimey, has it really been that long since the Almighty Bryan last strutted his perfections on the Hawthorns swarth? Doesn?t half make you feel old, that sort of thing, and the Peter Gabriel number shortly afterwards ? ?Sledgehammer? ? didn?t help my perception of an all-too rapid ageing process for this column one little bit!

Time for the second half, then, and now it was Villa?s turn to become thorough nuisances, a lad with the name of Steven Davis being the principal perpetrator of the damage for them. His early work led to what was the best chance of the game thus far for them, the effort, a well-struck drive, crashing against the Albion crossbar. Now we were on the back-pedal, time to note the excellent work Sekou Berthe, brought on for Gaardsoe during the interval, was doing at the back for us, plus the constant efforts of Dyer to get something started on the wing. As far as Berthe was concerned, one lovely bit of ball-work from him with 14 minutes gone completely stopped young upstart Davis in his tracks. And while we?re on the subject of ball-work, what about Wallwork? Theoretically, what with all those good performances for Robbo while at Bradford, you would have thought he?d be well up for the occasion, but, for whatever reason I don?t know, he simply failed to come out of the starting-blocks, even, tonight. To be perfectly honest, so quiet was he, the neutral observer simply wouldn?t have known he was playing, even!

Considering our failure to shine in the box earlier, it came as no particular surprise to see us concede with around 18 minutes gone. The shot, a low drive, gave our Polish keeper no chance at all, and I think a lad called Kyle Nix was the Villa scorer. Oh, whoops. A shame that, as we?d battled pretty well in the middle, also in the approach work during the first period, but couldn?t apply the coup de grace when required, sadly. Following their breakthrough, Villa seemed to step up a gear, and we seemed to run out of ideas; what didn?t help was the effective offside trap they chose to employ thereafter, which sprang frustratingly shut every time we tried our default tactic, lumping the ball as per Meggo at his worst. About the closest to an equaliser by that stage was Inamoto, with a 25th minute drive that struck the outside of the right hand post.

It was painfully clear by then that there could only be one winner in this encounter. Not unnaturally, frustrations of all sorts began to creep in; with about 15 minutes left, Berthe was extremely lucky to escape being booked. And the free-kick to Villa that resulted, right on the left-hand edge of the box, could have quite easily ended in tears; Kuszczac was on hand to parry the thing out of harm?s way, sure, but the ball then dropped to a lurking phocine instead; luckily for us, the shot was slightly miscued, and ended up going over the roof of the stand, just like its earlier brethren.

And that was how the state of play looked by the final whistle; a lot of running around, sure, but nothing to show for it. I wonder what Pearson - and Robbo, possibly? - thought of what he saw. I can only imagine copious notes were taken tonight, and the contents mulled over at great length either later tonight, or tomorrow. ?Could (and should?) have done better? is my overall verdict, and if I were some of those players out there I wouldn?t be making long-term plans to reside in the area. Sure, both Berthe and Dyer stood out for me tonight, although it is possible that Lloydie?s too much of a ?one-horse trick? to make any serious first-team progress, but Sekou certainly merits a first-string try-out on the basis of his performance tonight. Our Polish custodian with the unpronounceable name looked good, and couldn?t do much about that goal, really. Koumas showed us a slightly different dimension to his play, but as far as most of the rest were concerned, I?m now wondering if their stay in the Last Chance Saloon is about to end somewhat precipitously. And Anc does a lousy Elvis impersonation!

And finally?. So he?s gone and done it, then. Applied for the Wulves vacancy, I mean. Working on the basis of ?it takes one to truly know one?, if he gets the job, I?m sure the pair of them will both be very happy in their new life together!

 - Glynis Wright

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