The Diary

08 November 2004: Is There A Manager In The House?

Just back from watching a Queen tribute group ? Magic - at the Alex, where, for the first time ever, we were accompanied by The Fart, who shamelessly confessed to me tonight that his musical education began and ended in the days of Frankie Laine, Frankie Vaughan, Alma Cogan et. al.(I can just hear all those readers under the age of fifty shouting ? ?OO?? in total puzzlement!) I don?t know quite what he expected to see ? the only Queen number he?s acquainted with is ?Radio Ga-Ga?, the ditty that tradition dictates we Dick Eds play on our in-car CD player whenever we manage an away win ? but I think the operative word when we finally emerged from the theatre was ?bemused?! As you might expect, that particular Queen CD ? ?The Works? - is rapidly gathering dust in the glove compartment of our car right now; somehow, I don?t think it?ll be seeing the light of day when we return from our trip to Highbury in a couple of weeks time. Unless you happen to believe in miracles, of course.

Is it me, or do you, too, get the impression our frantic search for a manager is rapidly going tits-up (if you?ll excuse my ?French?)? Most of the big-names thus far connected with the job seem to have dropped out of the race for one reason or another ? the latest, of course, being Glenn Hoddle, who is now saying he, not Albion, ended what might have been a romance made in Heaven. Another thought about Hoddle; it?s now looking as though he was actually sounded out while Meggo was still at the helm, which ties in neatly with my theory that Jeremy wouldn?t have acquiesced so readily to Megson?s departure had he not been confident of swiftly appointing a successor. Some accounts reckon Hoddle was dead keen on the job when discreetly asked whether he was interested, so what happened to change his mind so drastically in such a short space of time? And, more importantly, where does that leave us now?

I may be doing Jeremy a disservice, of course; it might be he?s not prepared to compromise his principles by making a too-hasty decision, of course, but I have to say it?s not looking too good from my end of things. For something that was supposed to be a quick appointment, we aren?t half procrastinating, all of a sudden. Despite various reports of him being present at the Southampton game yesterday, Bobby Robson is supposedly still tied up with his Newcastle contract, so, in theory, at least, he can?t be the Chosen One ? unless he and The Toon have quietly thrashed out a solution mutually acceptable to both parties, of course. Gordon Strachan? He?s either genuinely not keen on a return to the sharp end at the moment ? all the noises we hear from his camp are ones of total disinterest right now ? or he?s holding out, like ?Ole Bill, of Bruce Bairnsfather cartoon fame, ?for a better ?ole?.

Houllier? Sure, he?s got extensive experience at this level courtesy of his time with The Reds, but has he properly recovered from the ruptured aortic aneurysm that nearly killed him three or so seasons ago? The stresses and strains of football management are hardly an appropriate therapy for someone with such a nasty condition, which could possibly recur, and can be stress-related. The longer this uncertainty continues for both players and supporters, the worse the situation will get. You really do have to wonder as to whether whoever finally gets the nod will be recruited solely on the basis they?re both cheap and/or desperate, and not likely to do a runner if a more remunerative/prestigious post suddenly becomes vacant. I really can?t help but cast my mind back to 1991, after we ditched Big-Nose Brian Talbot. Just about every Baggie in creation told the board, and whoever else might be interested, the one person we didn?t want to see at The Hawthorns was Bobby Gould ? and what did we get? Precisely. Take a bow, Brian Robson? I sincerely hope not.

There is another name that?s been mentioned on one or two occasions in connection with the vacancy, and, as a long shot, he might just be the bloke Albion will finally appoint. No ?inside information?, as I?m not privy to that sort of thing anyway, but the chap I?m thinking of is currently Yeovil?s gaffer, Gary Johnson. He?s got experience at a high level courtesy of the Latvian national side, and he?s very highly regarded in the game indeed. And did a cracking job with the West Country club, of course. If I?m wrong, then shoot me down in flames; it wouldn?t be the first time it?s happened this term. And if I?m right? Well, you heard it first, on this diary page!

And it?s not only our lot who are having problems finding a gaffer; Jez Moxey, Chief Exec of those unspeakable creatures down the road, and Hayward The Younger, were given a large chunk of whatever passes for a ?mind? among the gold-and-cack persuasion at their home fixture versus Forest yesterday. The Mercury, being, allegedly, a ?family publication? they wouldn?t give precise details, but The Fart tells me the words of the chant they used left neutral observers in no doubt whatsoever that Megson was most certainly NOT their preferred managerial option!

At least one mystery from yesterday?s game has been cleared up for me, now. It appears that Tommy Gaardsoe?s unexpected and sudden absence from the side versus Saints was due to a family bereavement, and not a falling-out, as was rumoured by several prior to the game. That sounds about right, as Danes are, as a race, some of the most laid-back people I?ve ever encountered. So laid back, they practically fall apart at times!

Remember when I told you about Chris Evans? The chap that had his car towed away and impounded during a home game recently? Well, I?ve now received something rather interesting to report ? because the road belongs to the council, and the towing firm was nothing to do with them, in effect, their actions were illegal. It was the Black Country Housing Association who contracted the clamping company to do the biz, but when they did so, the last thing they wanted was for people to have their cars towed away! And that?s where you lot out there come in. What Chris proposes to do is embark on a group action against the idiots responsible (it did cost him over ?300 to get the wretched car back, remember). He knows that around five other Baggies were also affected that day, so, if you were one of those, get in touch with Chris, and you can all plot their legal downfall to your hearts content, and by all ?mucking in? together, lighten the monetary burden of doing so! His details are Mr. Chris Evans, 1 The Heathlands, Oldswinford, Stourbridge, West Mids, DY8 1NR. PHONE NUMBER 07734 603010.

And Finally?. Some of you may have seen, via the media, that our very own SuperBob, aka Bob Taylor, scored a hat-trick for Conference club Tamworth in their game versus Leigh RMI yesterday, which they won 3-2. So far, so good ? but what you may not know is the identity of the poor sod between the sticks trying to stop him scoring. Who was it, then? None other than former Albion and York keeper Paul Crichton, that?s who! We were at Boothferry Crescent the day we discovered that Mr. Calamity?s custodial abilities had not improved one little bit since his days with us; my description of the almighty (but uproariously-funny!) clanger he dropped during that game versus Hereford is recorded for posterity in one of my diary pieces around that time.

Following that embarrassing debacle, and a later on-pitch bust up with a couple of their supporters less-than enchanted with his keeping abilities, he was quickly given the old heave-ho by the newly-relegated side, then fetched up with Leigh in a last-ditch attempt to salvage the ruins of his career, I reckon. For the record, Bob?s goals came in the 65th, 68th, and 75th minutes, after Leigh had managed to go two in front. The best part of the whole thing, though, was what happened for the second. Apparently, Crichton completely misjudged a corner in somewhat horrible fashion (sounds familiar, doesn?t it?) and Bob, loitering with intent nearby, said ?thank you very much, mate!?, or words to that effect, smartly poking the ball over the goal-line for the Tamworth equaliser!

 - Glynis Wright

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