The Diary

05 November 2004: Moat House Musings

I suppose you?re all wondering why I?m out lurking in cyberspace tonight, and not in a hospital bed. Sure, by rights, I should have been ?under the surgeon?s knife?, to use a very old-fashioned turn of phrase, by this time, but a couple of days ago, I went down with a dose of the sniffles and a bloody sore throat. None of which hospitals like in any of their patients, never mind those being admitted for elective neck surgery, so after a swift phone call from ?Im Indoors, the nice lady on the other end totally agreed that my presence wouldn?t be required at Dudley Road after all. They?re going to fix me up with another date instead; hopefully, by then, my upper respiratory tract etc. will be in pristine condition. So I will be heading on out for St. Mary?s this weekend, ?lump? and all. I just hope the end result makes all that extra pain and itching worthwhile.

I?m deeply astonished by the unexpectedly-great length of time it?s taking to appoint a successor to Gary Megson. Given the amount of dissatisfaction our chairman has expressed apropos of our former leader recently, I would have thought that the new man would be sitting on the sidelines somewhere by now, quietly but eagerly awaiting the nod. Instead, all we?ve heard are noises from on high that the club are still deliberating over who the new man is to be. They?ve drawn up a short-list, so it seems, but gone no further than that.

The Mirror today pitched in by telling the world Paul Jewell of Wigan was now in the frame, and we?d asked The Latics for permission to talk to him. The reason? Allegedly, because Jeremy Peace was more than a little miffed by the fact Hoddle was playing a ?he loves me, he loves me not? sort of game with us, not wanting to be disturbed on a family holiday, and not wanting to be interviewed until Monday next at least. All of which both Wigan and Albion totally deny, according to the E and S tonight. Could all this be a tactic whereby minds can be concentrated, I wonder? A way of telling Hoddle: ?shit, or get off the pot?? In any case, why on earth would Paul Jewell want to move clubs? They?re top of their league, and going great guns for promotion already, and I?m given to understand that if Jewell does take ?em to the Promised Land, he?s onto a nice little earner from their chairman for doing it.

The delay in making an appointment is slightly worrying. On Saturday, we have a fixture, the outcome of which might ultimately prove crucial to our ambitions of staying in this division - and we?re going to St. Mary?s manager-less? A sobering thought, and not one calculated to inspire confidence, quite frankly. Sure, the club have to be sure beyond all reasonable doubt that they?ve chosen the right man for the job; at this level, a wrong judgement-call can cost clubs millions in revenue, but it?s not as if all this palaver has dropped into the boardroom from right out of the blue. If you really wanted to be picky, you could make a pretty cogent argument for saying this had been coming for months. My principal worry is that by delaying things, we?re going to get buried in a far deeper hole than at present, thereby leaving the new incumbent with a near-impossible task by the time he finally gets the keys to his new office. After Saturday, there are no free lunches; it?s Boro at home, The Arse away, then Man U at our place. Can you see us getting something from any one of that lot? I can?t, unless Fergie?s little cherubs suddenly decide to have another one of those dreadful off-days (Pompey last Saturday was a perfect example) that plague The Reds from time to time.

This then brings me to yet another pertinent point; whoever does get the job, if our board are really serious about staying up, some pretty monumental decisions will have to be made, and soon. Not about who puts into the milk-float, and by how much, or whether Gladys the cleaner should get a Christmas box this year, but about players, and whether or not they go into the senior side. Or get shipped out. And who to go for once the window opens for business once more.

Will a change of face in the dug-out mean those players formerly disillusioned and/or disaffected can be persuaded to reinvigorate their former enthusiasm and passion for the game? And by doing so, get us out of the enormous hole we now find ourselves in? Decisions, vital, you might argue, on a par with those made in the immediate aftermath of Megson?s appointment, four seasons or so ago, and with similar long-term implications attached. After all, we won?t have the luxury of a quick foray into the market to assist the new bloke this time; thanks to recent rule-changes, the kybosh is well and truly on that sort of thing until the New Year. Whoever comes in, they have to get it right immediately, hit the ground running, so to speak, otherwise, we might just as well throw in the Premiership towel right now.

And while we?re on the subject, will he, or won?t he? Megson, that is, join the Dingles? With the sacking of Dave Jones earlier in the week, I reckon our local rivals might prove a tempting prospect, if only to give Gary a juicy chance of getting one over on us from afar. The only constraints upon him not ringing Hayward Junior right now are both legal and cultural. Legal because he?s effectively tied to us, still, and cultural because we ? erm ? hate their bloody guts, to put not too fine a point on it. Gary?s the sort of bloke quite capable of heaving a king-sized grudge around on his shoulders for some considerable time; if a compromise can quickly be reached with his erstwhile employers, I fully expect to hear whispers on the local grapevine he?s actually gone and done it before too long. Defected to The Dark Side, that is. After all, Dingle-land ticks all the boxes: underachieving club now down on its uppers (aw, you know what I mean!), and their followers (the more articulate ones, that is) screaming mightily for Something To Be Done, and an infrastructure more than capable of Delivering What Gary Wants.

Tonight, us Dick Eds, Steve The Miser and The Noise excepted, headed on out for the West Bromwich Moat House to take in Shareholders for Albion?s AGM. And it was a pretty gloomy picture they painted. Nothing to do with finances; the organisation?s healthily in the black, and will stay that way for the foreseeable future. No, the problems are with the parent football club, and not getting any better, it would seem. There is a consultation committee, which was supposed to function as a vehicle for discussion with the club on sundry Albion-related topics, but it seemed that this side of things were gradually diminishing, of late.

The fundamental problem seemed to be that Jeremy Peace wanted to treat Shareholders For Albion ( henceforth abbreviated to S4A) as a shareholders? group similar to that found in business circles, and didn?t seem to recognise the group for what it really was: i.e. a group of Albion supporters who were also shareholders. Slightly different phraseology there, but a completely different function implied. The way S4A saw it was that it was meant to serve as a link between it and the club on various other matters, and were disappointed that they?d not been allowed to do that thus far. This gave rise to much disquiet about the situation on the floor, and as a result, S4A were given a mandate to press for more involvement as a body in other spheres. Consultation was a two-way process, and Albion just didn?t seem to be operating this way. It was therefore agreed to send written correspondence to the club about S4A?s perception of the situation as it currently stood. It was also felt that in order to increase the organisation?s ?clout? with the club, membership needed to be boosted considerably, from the ranks of existing shareholders not currently members. The committee reckoned there were approximately 2,000 shareholders out there, but only a couple of hundred were S4A members.

Concern was also expressed about Albion?s rapidly-increasing tendency to try and milk even more money out of supporters this season. While it was recognised that Premier League football was an expensive game, with highly-priced overheads etc., it was worrying that Albion?s only solution to the problem seemed to revolve around squeezing even more cash out of existing fans. Examples? The enormous ?hike? (70%) in season-ticket prices, away season ticket holders having to stump up a ?40 admin fee this time round, away tickets being sold as far as six or seven weeks in advance to cash in on interest accrued by the money sitting in the bank for several weeks, and the community programme matchday package increasing from ?16 to ?36 per child. Additionally, there were no less than five replica shirts launched in the last couple of seasons, which meant a cost of ?200 for someone wanting to buy all five. As I?ve said myself in various pieces recently, it had now got to the stage where the club were treading on dangerous ground, supporters were now openly discussing boycotting some matches because of excessive cost, and the club were therefore in grave peril of ?killing the goose that laid the golden egg?.

Bryn Jones, one of the organisation?s ?founding fathers? had come up with an alternative strategy for maximising finances that wouldn?t result in supporters having to pay through the nose so much. He said the opposite strategy to that employed at present was to take the supermarket option; ?pile it high and sell it cheap?, i.e. charge less for seats. Current low limits on ground capacity meant this wasn?t a practical option, though. This could be circumvented, however, by building a new stand where the Halfords was now, but cost considerations were enormous, as they would exceed initial revenue enormously. In Bryn?s view, the only answer to that problem was to have an arrangement not dissimilar to that of an ordinary mortgage. In other words, put down a deposit, then pay the rest back over a fixed period of years.

How would this be financed? The next step would be to flog long-term season-tickets, similar to the ones Albion sold some ten or so years ago, with a share incorporated into the price. Premier shares, they were called, and were quite a revenue-raiser at the time. One of the examples Bryn gave was of a five-year season ticket costing, say, ?1,000, which would save the purchaser around ?1,000. Sell 2,500 of these and that would give the club ?2.5 million to play with for the deposit. There were various other combinations of figures discussed, of course, but that?s the general principle of the idea. Bryn reckoned ?normal? ticket sales would realise in the region of ?1.2 million per season for the stand. An interesting idea, and having been given a mandate from the floor from the member ship, S4A intended to further pursue the idea with the club. As Bryn rightly pointed out, it was a chance to give the parent football club an alternative option to bleeding money from supporters at every opportunity. Also mentioned was the continuing problem of getting away from Halfords Lane post match; again this was something the organisation agreed to discuss with the club.

That was the formal part of the meeting, then. After a short interval, there followed a guest appearance by no less than three ex-Albion players, Joe Mayo, Graham Williams, and Ally Robertson. Graham we heard speak at Kiddy the other week, but Joe Mayo? I hadn?t clapped eyes on him since the time he left the club, and to be honest, had I bumped into him in the street, I wouldn?t have recognised the features at all. He ran a guest-house for about 13 years, apparently, and is now a rep for Imperial Tobacco. As for Ally, I?m not altogether sure what he does now, but he has become a little more chubby-cheeked than when I clapped eyes on him last. Oh, and when he speaks, he doesn?t half remind me of Billy Connolly, the constant rise in inflexion as the sentence progresses, becoming, almost, a convincing imitation of someone on a strong whiff of helium gas by the end! The only thing differentiating him from Connolly was the total absence of naughty words. That plus the total absence of poor-taste jokes about people being held hostage in Iraq, of coruse.

Some thoughts from the panel? Ally?s on the managerial job up the road, now up for grabs, of course. ?There?s only one job worse than the Wolves job and that?s one at the Villa!? He then moved on to reminisces, prompted by a question fro the floor, about the club?s tour of China, back in the late seventies. Games played in total silence; despite decent crowds everywhere they played, all that could be heard were our players shouting to one another. Most disconcerting to our lot; what they didn?t know was that spectators had previously been told not to make noise in the ground, by Tannoy. And there was the time Ally nearly caused a diplomatic incident with their Chinese hosts. It was all over a flag, an improvised one to be sure, but one fashioned out of a white towel. The moment Ally hoisted it, just about every Chinese person within miles of the place came to protest, and somewhat vigorously, as well. It turned out that in China, to do that was a sign of death, and also of disrespect, hence such great animosity on the part of the locals!

Ally also touched on the time once of our directors ended up with a bucket load of water on his bonce ? that was in China as well ? then it was time for Graham Williams to put in his twopennorth. The subject was discipline on the pitch. Graham said that in his day, it was frowned upon to indulge in issuing threats against opposing players who?d, say, entered into a tackle overenthusiastically. Then, had that happened to you, the naswer was to simply smile at the offender, who would then know retribution was in the offing! Mention of nasty tactics against players brought forth the name of Clive ?Chippy? Clark into the debate. Why? Because he always played with his socks round his ankles, no shinpads whatsoever; a nailed-on invitation to those in the game who were of malevolent intent. Quite rightly, Graham expressed the view that Chippy was one of the bravest players he?d ever seen. Then, the philosophy was to get one?s retaliation in first. Graham also touched on George Best?s debut, at the age of 17, against us. They?re good friends now, apparently, and at one stage, George actually babysat for Graham. And before you ask, no, he wasn?t drinking then.

Joe Mayo? ?I lived in Tipton.? he said, ?Just around the corner from the Taliban!? His discourse was about what had been lost from the game. In 1976, the night we got promotion, the entire side went out with a load of Albion supporters, and, as you could imagine, had a great time. As he said, those days were gone. Relaxing, then, was talking about the game afterwards with supporters, but you couldn?t do that now. In his day, the fans were very much part of things, but now, all the camaraderie seemed to have gone. Graham added to that by saying then there was the Throstle Club, and players used to regularly attend if asked. A notice would go up in the dressing-room for someone to go there and present, say, trophies to a darts team there, or similar. One player would say, ?yes?, ask another if they fancied it, and before you knew it, the whole team, pretty much would commit themselves to attending. And players would go there and have a drink or two (or more!), and there would be none of this business of going to the papers and ?telling tales?, as Graham put it.

Joe was asked whether he had any specific memories of Oldham. ?It was just a blur,? he replied, ?The whole place was a sea of green and yellow, right from the motorway island to the ground.? He did remember the fact the players knew Bolton were winning 4-0, though. And then it was Ally?s turn; what memories did he have of Don Howe? Principally, that he wanted to make Albion the best club ever, and that was his downfall, really. He had so many ideas, some of which were obscure, such as strange ways of defending free-kicks, for example. Very imaginative was Don in that direction, but man-management was the thing that let him down.

Johnny Giles was the complete opposite. He did so many things the simple way. Johnny had a favourite saying in the dressing-room. ?I?ll tell you once, I?ll tell you twice ? but if I have to tell you a third time, you?ll be dropped!? Gilesy got everyone involved, everyone working for him. When we were bottom of the pile, at the beginning of that first season, he made a few tweaks, a few changes, and from then on, the side never looked back. Ally?s regret was not walking out at Wembley for an FA Cup Final. His other regret? Not winning anything in Europe; he reckoned when we played Valencia, Laurie Cunningham was the best player in the country. Another game that same season in which he sparkled was versus Newcastle in the League, which we won 3-0. Laurie was so good at riding a tackle that day. Ally reckoned he was so lucky to have been part of that side, and wished they could have been kept together for a few more years.

Graham then discussed matters defensive, both then and now. In his day, changed at the back were few, so everyone knew everyone else?s play. Our former defender then went on to say he wasn?t happy with some individuals in the current squad. Good defenders, he opined, were willing to get hurt for the cause. By way of illustration he rcalled the time he tangled with Vic Crowe, who then played for Villa. Graham was hit in the chest, and should have gone off, but because of who the opponents were, he didn?t! Nowadays, he added, players went down at the slightest thing.

Ally Rob, however, countered that by adding the thought that nowadays, skills were better. He would, however, love to see how players like Henry would get on with the likes of Tommy Smith or Ron Yeats, were that possible. The motivation wasn?t there any more. In his day, when they first started, players earned, if lucky, around ?10 per week; now, money talked. By the time they reached thirty, the money they?d made from the game already meant that they didn?t have to carry on.

Joe Mayo reckoned that the current influx of players from abroad had a lot to answer for. Niggly tactics at set-pieces, gamesmanship, ?simulation?, that sort of thing. Also, the excessive use of elbows, and such awful tactics as spitting at opponents. 20 years ago, you?d see that sort of thing in the Italian leagues; blow on some of them, and they?d fall over. It simply wasn?t done in their day. And the pre-match ?huddle?? That, according to Graham, started in one of the African leagues. It had its roots in what?s known as ?ju-ju?. They were great believers in superstition out there; it wasn?t unknown for players to pull down their shorts, pre-match and urinate on the pitch for luck!

Ally then mentioned the vexing question of the great increase of foreign players in the game in recent years, and thought it wrond. He advocated what the Italian Leagues had done to redress the balance; over there, clubs can have only five foreign players in the squad, and only play three at one time. That gave clubs the chance to develop their kids. Over here, you currently had a situation where Arsenal had a complete reserve side of foreigners. Scotland had made that mistake, and there was nothing coming through as a result. Young kids now didn?t have a chance because of this and it was all wrong.

Joe Mayo?s thoughts on Megson as a player? ?I hated the sight of him!? Joe thought he?d made quite a few good signings, and eventually, they?d be OK. Perhaps the club might have been better getting someone to deal with the other side of management. If Gary had had someone like Sir Bobby Robson alongside him, he would be a better manager for it.

Graham Williams on Earnie. ?I?ve worked with him a few times. Physically, he?s fit, but he?s not mentally fit. In the Premier League you have to be like lightning, in mental terms, also the system played at Albion is wrong for him. You have to fit the system to the players you?ve got.?

Ally then reckoned getting the most out of players was one of the most difficult aspects of management. They were mostly millionaires, so normal sanctions were wasted on them. As Graham added, this meant that players were increasingly dictating what happened at first team level. And there was an interesting comparison made; Graham likened Gary Megson to Don Howe or Jimmy Hagan, something I?ve said in previous offerings. Coo, talk about great minds thinking alike. Graham also pointed out that Arsene Wenger had precisely the opposite technique to that of Megson. In the dressing room at half time, after an indifferent Arsenal performance, he didn?t bawl or shout, just quietly reminded his players they were internationals ? then left it to them to sort it out during the second half.

There were also revelations about the League Cup Final versus QPR. Graham said he was blinded by a knock during that game, and his biggest regret was he didn?t go off injured. Then, you had to get the ref?s permission to go off, and the match official wasn?t having any of it. A bit strange, that, because Graham then spent the rest of the week in Moorfields Eye Hospital having in-patient treatment! As he said, you couldn?t go off unless you were half-dead in those days! And, another thought about Villa. Then, when Graham used to watch them play, he?d get there an hour early. Why? He got there with all that time to spare so he could hate them longer! ?I was brought up with the likes of Ronnie Allen and Ray Barlow; they hated Villa, so I did!?

There was a whole lot more, for example, about the deterioration in referee-player relations of late, what Tony Hately did to Graham Williams during an international game, Graham?s revenge, seemingly out of sight of the ref ? and the official sending him off because of the evidence, blood on Graham?s hand where he?d thumped the lanky reprobate! Many thanks to the three of them for providing that salutary reminder there was a football club there, once. But, as ever, tempus fugit. Back tomorrow with some pertinent thoughts about Southampton, among other things. See you.

And Finally... One. Yet more proof (should you still need convincing, that is!) that followers of our local rivals are a can or two short of a six-pack. On Talksport the other day, an indignant Dingle phoned in to say he didn't want Megson as manager because of his Albion connections, and because he was of ginger-haired appearance. Daft, sure; that?s Dingles for you, but that wasn?t all. On hearing this little pearl of wisdom from our gold-and-cack chum, the presenter, Alan Brazil, then asked him, failing Megson, who he?d like for the Wolves job instead, to which the brain dead one immediately replied: GORDON STRACHAN! The evidence is incontrovertible, M?lud, therefore I now rest my case!

Two... Just when you thought it was safe to surf the Net... Yep, it?s my profound pleasure and privilege to announce that Dick co-editor Steve Carr, aka ?The Meanest Man in West Bromwich? is now on-line, finally. I?m not sure as to whether he?s opted for broadband or its slower cousin ? probably the latter, as Steve won?t spend money unless he really has to ? but suffice to say I?m now looking forward to some of the briefest emails in the history of information technology!

Three... So it?s George W. Bush in the White House for the next four years, then. My advice? Grab a tin hat, a gas mask, enough supplies to last a year or two ? then head for them thar hills. Like now!

 - Glynis Wright

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