The Diary

23 October 2004: Some Pre-Selhurst Scribblings

I?ll start tonight?s piece with an apology. Why? Because of all the typos in yesterday?s instalment; when I finally got around to perusing the ?finished product? on the website, I could have screamed. There was even that bane of my life, the ?errant apostrophe? there, exposed to public view in its full horror. Oh dear ? say it ain?t so, Joe! The trouble was, I had an extremely long row to hoe last night, and what with the late finish at Sutton, taking The Fart back to his place of residence and returning to GD Towers, it was gone half eleven at night before I finally got down to work. A small-hours finish isn?t exactly conducive toward the minute scrutiny of text, which was why things did slip through without my noticing. Sorry.

Never mind, though; tonight, I?m ?assisted? by one of my cats, Cyrille, who, as per usual, has curled himself tightly around the keyboard whilst I type furiously. That?s his favourite spot; the problem is, sometimes, he completely forgets himself and stretches out, which means the keyboard then ends up in my lap. Then he wonders why I end up calling him every name under the sun. As for Laurie, my other black cat, she simply watches from the top of the monitor, regarding my naughty language with complete disdain; situation normal for the average she-cat, really.

Apropos of last night?s meeting and the guests, today, I was extremely surprised to receive a mail from a chap called Jim Greaves. No, not the bibulous-but-now-reformed former Tottingham striker, possessive of a nasty hairy growth just above the lip, just a Baggie-loving schoolteacher. Apparently, he read my piece with great interest, coming from Great Barr as he did; not only did it remind him of that part of West Bromwich, it also brought back fond memories of going to school in Coventry about the same time we thumped City by seven goals. Additionally, his very first teaching post was in Gillingham, where he taught Tony Godden?s nephew. Apparently, his family ran a taxi service in those there parts at that time, so I reckon I?m fully entitled to assume that a call of ?Taxi for Godden? would not produce the same degree of wholesale rancour there as it did on our team coach recently!

Moving on rapidly, then, it?s now high time to look at tomorrow?s opposition. Any weird and wonderful stuff about Palace, before I start, then? Well, my first observation is, it?s nowhere near the Crystal Palace of pre-war fame, the ground being situated on the outskirts of Croydon, which is miles away from the former exhibition attraction, burned down in 1936. The town?s ancient beginnings ? it?s situated at the head of the River Wandle - date back over 7,000 years, which is, by far, much older than The Fart, even. As per usual in these things, the Romans first settled there, but it was the Saxons who inhabited the area in great numbers, and gave Croydon its name, which is thought to mean either 'crooked valley' or 'saffron valley'. As far as the first one goes, ask me again at five, tomorrow ? should the final score go adversely for us, I may well be in the mood to concur heartily!

The Lord of The Manor of Croydon (nothing to do with our manager, honest!) was granted markets and fairs at intervals from 1276, and the market still held today in Surrey Street dates from 1343. Which is pretty old by anyone?s standards; let?s just hope the perishable stuff isn?t of similar vintage. Croydon and the Church were (and are) bosom pals, it would seem. In 1086, the then Archbishop of Canterbury, Archbishop Lanfranc, was Lord of The Manor, and his summer palace, now known as the Old Palace, still stands today. Archbishop John Whitgift was one of Croydon's greatest benefactors and founded schools and a hospital in the 16th century. 11 Archbishops of Canterbury in all are buried throughout the borough, and you can?t get a more superior recommendation than that, can you?

The town?s industrial and commercial importance grew at the beginning of the 19th Century as a result of transport developments, in particular the London to Brighton railway. The town also had an airport once, believe it or not, the site now being taken up by an industrial estate. Think the inter-war years, especially the Thirties, biplane ?stringbags?, Imperial Airways, the glamour and glitz attracted by air travel in those days, and you?ve got it. Many of the great pioneering aviators of the day also came to Croydon to kick off record attempts and such like. They included Alan Cobham, who flew from there to Capetown and back in 1925-6; Charles Lindbergh, who flew into Croydon in 1927, shortly after completing the first solo trans-Atlantic flight; Bert Hinkler, who made the first flight to Australia (Croydon to Darwin) in 1928; Charles Kingsford-Smith, who beat Hinkler's record in 1929; and many others. In 1930, Amy Johnson flew from Croydon to Australia, the first woman to do so, and later returned to Croydon to a rapturous welcome.

As a fighter station, Croydon played a front-line role in the Battle of Britain, and was also regularly used by high-ranking dignitaries. In 1944, Croydon became the London base for RAF Transport Command, and in this role was partially used by civil aircraft once more. In February 1946, the RAF finally handed the airport back to proper civilian control. However, as early as 1943, discussions had been held which called Croydon?s long-term future as an aerodrome into question. In 1946, following a review of post-war civil aviation needs, Heathrow was designated as London's airport instead. Although many felt that Croydon still had a role to play as an overflow airport, by 1952 the final decision was taken to close the place. The last scheduled plane flew out on 30 September 1959.

Despite the closure, if you look closely, memories of former glories still linger on, for example, street names on a nearby housing estate. Many of those finally adopted recall the airport's history: e.g. Mollison Drive, Lindbergh Road, Olley Close, Brabazon Avenue etc to the west; and Imperial Way, Lysander Road, Horatius Way and Hannibal Way to the east. There?s still a reminder of former glories to see if you care to look closely from the main drag. The site of the old place is marked by a restored De Havilland Heron (the model of aircraft that made the last flight out of the airport) mounted on a garage forecourt. Close to that also, there?s a memorial to the war dead of 1939 to 1945. As for the town of Croydon itself, that was redeveloped rapidly in the late 1950?s. Much of its old character has been retained, though, with 4 scheduled ancient monuments, 6 Grade 1 listed buildings, ten designated conservation areas and over 150 buildings listed as having special architectural or historic interest. Never let it be said this column isn?t educational!

Famous Croydon people? Elementary, my dear Watson! Yep, Sir Arthur Conan Doyle, ? (1859-1930) author and creator of Sherlock Holmes, lived at 12 Tennison Road, South Norwood, Croydon SE25 between 1891-1894. Given the predilection of his most famous fictional character for cocaine and the like, whether or not he was ever busted for drugs whilst living there, I really don?t know. Author D.H. Lawrence, ? (1885-1930) (Aw, you know, ?Lady Chatterley?s Lover?, the book an early 60?s judge reckoned you wouldn?t want your wife or servants to read!) lived at 12 Colworth Road, Addiscombe, Croydon, Surrey between 1908 and1912, while a teacher at Davidson Road School.

And here?s another curious one. Comic actor Will Hay (1888-1949), lived at 45, The Chase, Norbury, SW16 Croydon between 1927-1934. Quite a dark horse was Our Will; besides treading the boards and appearing in such films as ?Oh, Mister Porter!?, in his spare time, he was also a pretty nifty (and much respected) amateur astronomer, who made genuine scientific discoveries regarding so-called ?gas giants? Jupiter and Saturn whilst still at the height of his comedy fame. Hands up all those who remember The Beeb?s results teleprinter, a device that very noisily clattered out final scores around 4.45 on Saturday afternoons? Well, the bloke responsible for inventing such devices, electrical engineer Frederick George Creed, (1871-1957), lived and died at 20 Outram Road, Addiscombe , Croydon!

Returning to the real world once more, although tomorrow?s game represents the best chance we?ll have of grabbing all three points for a long time, it?s prudent to remind everyone that Palace will be eagerly looking towards doing the same to us. They?re at the bottom of the heap, sure, but when you?re in that position, sometimes, sheer desperation makes you likely to really lash out and play above yourselves. Another aspect of tomorrow?s trip concerns tickets ? or rather the marked lack of enthusiasm shown for them by our travelling faithful. Apparently, we?ve only flogged approximately 2,000 of our allocation, so those somewhat expensive little pieces of card should ? and I use that word advisedly ? be available on the day should you fancy going there ?on spec? tomorrow.

I?m not all that surprised we failed to sell our full whack; when you consider that the same fixture last season cost ?20, and tomorrow?s admission charge is now a gulp-making ?35, I reckon quite a significant proportion simply voted with their feet. Certainly, because of the sheer cost (assuming we?re still in the same division next time round, of course), this column and other half is going to give bothering with next season?s game there a great deal of agonised thought. I appreciate that sometimes prices do have to go up eventually to cover such things as inflation, but that sort of increase is, quite frankly, extracting the urine in large quantities. Add to that the cost of actually getting there, refreshments and so forth, and you?ve got quite an expensive day out on your hands, especially if you?re taking kids.

So, what have we in store, then? We?ve got one good thing going for us, though, and that?s our excellent record at their place. A win there would keep our small unbeaten run going, of course, and that, hopefully, would create a positive knock-on effect as far as confidence is concerned. We?d have won the corresponding fixture last term had it not been for the referee, bloody Danson, managing to get himself knocked out and practically brained ? where there?s no sense, there?s no feeling? - which meant a whopping EIGHT minutes added on at the end. And we all know what happened then, don?t we? The word on the streets is that Palace are set to name an unchanged line-up. Aki Riihilahti (bruised leg) and Fitz Hall (foot) have recovered from injuries. Danny Butterfield (hamstring) is fit but is unlikely to feature, and Nicola Ventola (knee) is still rated doubtful.

As for our lot, current scuttlebutt reckons we?ll be without Koumas tomorrow. It?s a ?twinge? allegedly. Given his seeming great lack of enthusiasm for last Saturday?s fixture, you do have to beg the question as to whether this is merely a diplomatic way of circumventing other problems concerning our talented Welsh international. Be interesting tomorrow to find out whether that particular snippet of gossip?s kosher, or not. The big threat, of course, is going to come from perpetual pain in the butt Andy Johnson. Time was, we could have put Adam Chambo on the case ? he man-marked Huckerby completely out of the Norwich away game last season, remember, and on a previous occasion, did similar to Derby?s Kinkladze, remember? ? but, as he?s now loaned out, we don?t have that option any more. It would also appear Palace have tried to counter the difficulty of keeping Prem oppositions out by being ultra-defensive: 4-5-1 seems to be their modus operandi these days.

Due to suspension, we?re still without Clem and The Purse, so no joy there. I?m willing to bet Big Dave will once more be at the hub of things, though. Say what you like, he has a tremendous presence at the back and can be totally relied upon to keep those crosses from getting anywhere near the danger-zone. Now Robinson?s hale and hearty once more, will our leader chuck him back into the ring again, I wonder? A lot will depend upon whether we stick with 4-4-2, or go with 5-3-2 for once. Up front, we may well have a bit of a dilemma on our hands. Do we go with Kanu and The Horse, or do we change it to Earnshaw comprising half of our strike-force, and our equine friend taking a well-deserved rest on the bench instead? Personally, I?d go with young Earnie, and use his blistering pace up front as a battering ram by which to pound Palace into submission, with Kanu providing the additional threat there, and, hopefully some ammunition-supply, but since when has common sense ever had anything to do with it?

Although it must really go against our leader?s instincts to plump for an emphasis on attack, it?s imperative we get our full whack from this fixture, otherwise we might as well pack in here and now. Please, pretty please, can we run at them for once, and not stop at the single goal? After this one, barring our forthcoming trip to Southampton, I really do struggle to find another game before Christmas where we?re anywhere near likely to come up with the goods in their entirety. My forecast? Ooer. I haven?t done all that well in that department of late, but because we really do need to come up with the goods tomorrow, I?ll plump for all three points heading back towards Baggie-Land come the set of sun ? and I don?t mean the tabloid, either.

And finally?. Oh dear, I?m getting a terrible feeling of d?j? vu once more. The word from Nottingham Forest is that last Tuesday night, they were involved in a replay, almost, of the infamous ?Battle Of Bramall Lane? that so blighted our promotion run some three seasons ago. Apparently, after Alan Quinn received a red for petulantly lashing out at Michael Dawson, Warnock and Sheffield United had no intention of letting Forest get away with it. Every tackle, whether made by Wes Morgan in a bruising but fair challenge on Cadamarteri, or a shattering collision involving Paul Evans, Warnock was incensed. According to their website, his verbals at the referee once again influenced the outcome of a football match. Said their electronic oracle: ?We all know that Warnock is despised across the land. "Prat" hardly sums up the image of the man in many Trickies' eyes, but the dancing, cavorting and bawling he did up and down the touchline should be looked into by the FA?? Sound familiar? It should.

 - Glynis Wright

Contact the Author

Diary Index