The Diary

18 October 2004: Merry Hill, Or Post-Match Merry Hell?

Well ? sofa, so good. Not a reference to yesterday?s doings, I hasten to add, merely a mention of what we were up to this afternoon. At Merry Hill. Looking at sofas. Lots of ?em. Oh, and trying to sniff out a suitable birthday present for my significant other?s mum, who?s extremely hard to buy for. Eventually, having traipsed the full length of the mall and back, we finally plumped for a couple of local ones. Books, that is, not sofas. Birthday presents, I mean. The sofas? Well, we?ve spotted a couple of corner units that might fit the bill without going into overdraft mode with the bill, if you get my drift, but all that malarkey will have to wait until midweek.

Reserves game tomorrow night, Man City at The Shrine, in case you?re interested, then on Tuesday, I go to Dudley Road Hospital to have a bitsy lump on the back of my neck looked at, so I don?t think I?ll be bombing around furniture stores afterwards should the necessary surgery go ahead on the day. Curious, though. Although we toddled the full length and breadth of Merry Hill, a well known haunt of the braindead cult in former times, we only saw three Dingles, and two of those had sort of half-hid the badge in the folds of their jackets. Embarrassed, are we? One, who must have been a terminal masochism sufferer, actually chose to wear the shirt loud and proud. What, with them stuck firmly in the gravitational well of the bottom three, and the place absolutely crawling with loads of gleefully-mocking Baggies? Stupid boy.

So, in the 24 hours or so it?s been since we did battle with Norwich, what other thoughts spring to mind? It?s interesting looking back on our previous Prem incarnation; at this stage of the season, we?d actually got more points on the board, due to those three early wins we had within such a short space of time: i.e. West Ham, Fulham and Southampton. Only one point more, ?tis true, but every little helps. The trouble is, as I remarked yesterday, we?re now going into a series of games where there?s little or no realistic prospect of getting full marks from any of ?em. Palace excepted, of course, but it?s amazing what desperation will do. Palace?s, that is. That?s why I?m worried; yesterday should have given us a pretty good benchmark by which to rate our prospects. To play our fellow automatic promotees, on our own patch, and get naught save a sharing of the points is worrying, to say the least. Sure, international duties and long trips to and from such fixtures could well have left some of our finest cream-crackered, that I do understand, and Kanu actually took a knock while out there, which is why he was subbed, but the problem is, to stay in this division, that?s precisely the sort of game where we should be picking up three points, no questions asked.

It?s not for the want of suitably-able personnel. In stark contrast to last time, we really have gone for it in the financial stakes. We might have strongly criticised the board for not putting their money where their mouth was two seasons ago, but you certainly can?t accuse Jeremy Peace of parsimony thus far. Was it around ?11 million we chucked at the problem before the transfer deadline? Where Megson has identified the need for a player to augment our ranks, providing the asking price and/or personal terms were realistic, we?ve gone for it. End of story. The only thing that held us back from getting some we dipped on was the willingness, or otherwise, of the players themselves to come to an agreement, and/or unreasonable demands. Both Norwich and Palace must have looked upon this almost reckless splashing of close-season bounty with great envy; between the pair of them, I doubt if they?ve flashed five million, even.

Compare and contrast that with Norwich?s situation. What they lacked in terms of quality players and adequate monetary resources, they?ve more than made up for by the use of pretty canny coaching to make the existing lot punch well above their weight in terms of ability. Sure, they did finish above us last season, but there wasn?t that much to separate either squad when both were in the Nationwide. This time round, they were damned effective down those flanks, for starters, and much, much quicker on the break than we were. And having a bloody good keeper helped. Not surprising we found it difficult to cope, really. Again, it simply boils down to having a sense of adventure, ?going for it? if you like. As the game entered its closing stages, what did we do? Shove more people back in defence, pretty much everyone by the time the final whistle went, which killed the game stone dead as a spectacle for us, but didn?t really achieve what we?d set out to do, stop the rot, because Norwich simply ran at us. And damn near nicked it.

Predictably enough, their manager, Nigel Worthington, was like a cat that had nicked the cream during the post-match press conference. "We were away from home and it is a point gained for us and two points dropped for them. I cannot praise the players enough, the only thing we have to improve on is being more clinical because we created two good chances in the first half.? And well might he feel pleased; had it not been for Huckerby screwing up big-time when one-on-one with Houlty, for instance ? his attempt ended up nearer the corner flag than the back of the net, thereby making him look like the biggest clown since Coco ? then he might well have been celebrating their first three points of the current season. On such small incidents do managerial careers get salvaged or destroyed. Megson, take note.

Some have opined that the lack of atmosphere in The Shrine yesterday was the root cause of our failure to grab the whole pot. And what was the fundamental cause of that, then? Again, it comes down to those negative ?oooh, we should be having a go at them, but if we start to do that the gaffer gets annoyed and we get a rollicking after, better play safe and bring everybody back? style of tactics. It sure as hell bored the pants off me, and judging by the relative silence from both ends of the ground, the Brummie and Smethwick must have been pretty brassed off also. I?ve said it before, and I?ll say it again; what we?re currently trying to do doesn?t work in this division. If anyone had the right idea yesterday, it was Norwich, who played some bloody attractive football at times. They may be certs to take the drop next May, but at least they?ll go kicking and screaming, not dying from boredom, which seems to be the most likely course of events on Planet Albion should things stay as they are. Oh, and in stark contrast to ours, their lot did try to make some bloody noise.

I?m still convinced we already have players with sufficient talent to keep us in this division, but as I see it, we?ll only retain our status by utilising them in the correct manner, and that?s as per the ?ball to feet, pass and move? code. It?s all very well relying on having Big Dave to get on the end of long balls ? and he did the job splendidly yesterday, to be fair ? but the problems arose on the second ball. Sure, our man-mountain was supplying copious quantities of ammo in the form of superb knock-downs and nicely-judged flick-ons, but if there?s no-one there on the receiving end, to convert those chances into scores on the doors, then it?s a lost cause, completely and utterly. And why were we left short up front? Because the same poor sods have to track back and help out the defence, that?s why. And another thought. How many times did we see Gera with the ball, and about to cross, or cut inside, but no-one in the box suitably positioned to take advantage, for the reason mentioned earlier? If we can?t manage to pot the black against fellow-strugglers, grab those points while we can, or just look dangerous, even, then looking closely at what?s in store for us over the next few weeks, we might as well pack up now.

So, what to do, then? It?s now looking increasingly likely that Megson and his dreary coaching methods simply can?t hack it in this division. I genuinely had hoped this wouldn?t be the case, as I still have bags of respect for the way he turned this club around four seasons ago, but, having had one complete stab at it already, and a fair enough go at a considerable chunk of the second attempt, and is still found wanting, maybe it is time, now, to say ?enough is enough?. Was Bolton just a false dawn, thereby providing our leader with the temporary reprieve we didn?t expect and, questionably, he didn?t deserve? Taking this argument to its logical conclusion, then the correct course of action is painfully obvious.

Lose against Palace, and I suspect the matter will be out of everyone?s hands, and we?ll be installing a new managerial incumbent. I do know there?s a groundswell of feeling among some respected, articulate and intelligent supporters, gradually gaining momentum, that Something Must Be Done Before It?s Too Late. Some, regular readers of these jottings, are even half-hoping for a Palace victory in order to force the issue. That?s not my style, personally, as I couldn?t wish an Albion loss on any side or manager, however inept, but these are rational people, and I can appreciate the general thrust of their argument. There is a football team out there, and bursting with latent talent, but like the atomic bomb, it badly needs input from just a single neutron, managerially speaking, to spark the chain reaction that sets the whole shebang alight. And, in all likelihood, the agent of our possible salvation is patiently biding his time right now, and simply awaiting the call from Jeremy Peace when it?s judged the time is ripe for change. I wonder who it can be?

Ho, hum, time to catch up with the Sunday papers, then shuffle off to get some zeds. Tomorrow, we get yet another chance to see Nippon?s favourite son, Inamoto, turn out in the sacred stripes. According to the Sunday Murky, his nickname in the Land Of The Rising Sun is ?big baby?, and he?s known as ?the David Beckham of Japan? in those there parts as well. As to whether there?s a geisha Posh Spice equivalent lurking in the background somewhere I?ve absolutely no idea. Oh ? and he can hardly speak English, which should prove interesting when he eventually makes his first team debut, as it seems The Great Zoltan experiences similar linguistic difficulties. The piece also describes him as ?shy and reserved?. Well, if he is, then he won?t last long in a Megson side: one below-par performance and he?ll get torn to shreds. Unless he quickly learns to swear back in Japanese, of course. Oh ? one other thought. I?m willing to bet anything you care to mention City gaffer Kevin Keegan will be at the game tomorrow night, running the rule over his second-string. Any chance our leader will be doing similar, then, to ?encourage the others?? Don?t be silly, Malcolm!

Oh ? one other final thought. The Championship?s highest scorer, 10 goals in 13 games, which is bloody good by anyone?s standards. Who? A certain Jason Roberts, that?s who. The difference? Having a rational human being as a manager, and not one out to do a sergeant major impersonation every training session he conducts. I rest my case.

 - Glynis Wright

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