The Diary

18 September 2004: Taxi For Megson?

It was the Bluenose Butcher that told me. About Megson, I mean, and his surprise interview on a local commercial radio station tonight. ?Are you sure you haven?t got him mixed up with Jeremy Peace, or something?? I kept asking him, somewhere in between the large chicken and my usual dozen free-range eggs. ?Nope,? sayeth he, whilst sweatily wrestling with an oversize half-carcass of moo, and losing by two clear submissions, ?He?s most definitely on tonight.?

Personally, I was quite sceptical about the whole thing; sure, I knew Jeremy was holding forth on the Paul Franks show on WM tonight, but our leader, on the other channel, at precisely the same time? Naw, surely not? When I rang my other half at work afterwards informing him what our purveyor of prime meat had to say, he too expressed his doubts. ?Ask The Fart, he?ll know,? was the reply, so I repaired straight to our PC and emailed him. Shame, then, to discover the old codger never goes on the damn thing at all until late at night, so I never did get an answer from our media oracle!

As things turned out, I was dead wrong to doubt what my little meaty friend had said. Yep, both men did put in a radio appearance: Megson, just as the Bluenose Butcher said was on the tin, and our chairman, courtesy of The Beeb and Franksy. I didn?t hear either, unfortunately, being too involved with the early evening news on the box (it?s an early-evening ritual of mine I?m loath to break), but I?ve since managed to contact The Fart, who caught about three-quarters of what Jeremy had to say, and around a quarter of The Soup Dragon?s utterings. Something tells me Tel?s thumbs were probably pricking like crazy as he listened! According to him, both of them chose to play a pretty straight bat, no matter how loaded the questions put to them. Hardly surprising, as they?re both pretty shrewd cookies; it?s my firm belief that should terrorists ever manage to blow away the entire human content of the Houses of Parliament when in full session, and a general election be called as a result, both of them could put up for their respective constituencies, and do a bloody good job in politics, one way or another. As we all know by now, our leader has a ?certain way? with words, and as for Jeremy, well, I?ve interviewed him on several occasions, and every reply, no matter how throwaway or glib it might seem at first sight, is most certainly calculated to at least two decimal places. You couldn?t catch him verbally-napping even if you tried, and it was no different tonight, by all accounts. One final thought - I was dead tickled by one contributor to the Boing list, Kev Buckley tonight, and his droll but intriguing thought of our manager actually phoning our chairman while he was on air ? "On line one now, we've got a Lord Megson of Sandwell, what would you like to ask Jeremy, caller?"

Seriously, though, what with that, and the various media interviews given by both parties this week, plus the unrequited thoughts of John Barnwell of the League Managers? Association on the situation, you could say that life on Planet Albion has become a mite interesting of late. Mind you, Jeremy?s piece, whilst reiterating the fact that our leader was contracted to stay with us for several months to come, also spelling out certain differences between what Gary was asserting in public, and what was actually the case, was highly significant in what it didn?t say i.e. no categorical assurances that Gary?s job was safe until the end of term, for instance. By constantly playing it straight down the middle, it?s now looking very much as though Jeremy has won the first round of this particular battle for hearts and minds. If Meggo can string together a series of wins or a win, plus a few draws, then his job is safe, presumably. Should our recent run of defeats turn into a total collapse, however, then it could well be the Job Centre beckons for You Know Who.

Support for Gary, very much in the majority 12 months ago, now seems to be waning somewhat, if the reaction to last Saturday?s Anfield defeat was anything to go by. In short, our chairman has him just where he wants him. I?m sure Jeremy doesn?t want to take the risk of a ?Newcastle scenario? developing at The Shrine, in which the players, acutely aware the manager isn?t long for The Hawthorns world, elect not to give their all on the field of play and elsewhere. It?s a basic rule in any walk of life that if you make a decision to let someone go, you strike while the iron is hot, and that?s certainly true in football. Although results haven?t been of the best lately, do it now, and there?s a good chance of the next incumbent extracting wreckage from the mire; leave it until the season is middle-aged, and it may well be too late.

While all this internecine bickering goes on, of course, there?s one group of people caught squarely in the middle, and that?s we supporters. The Birmingham Mail?s Chris Lepkowski penned a few eloquent words to that effect in a recent edition, and I have to say I agree with it one hundred per cent. As he so rightly pointed out, we Baggies spend a considerable proportion of our disposable income on match tickets, programmes, food, drink, away match travel, replica shirts and so forth, most of which goes directly to the football club, consequently it?s grossly unfair that we should be treated like mushrooms at this particular time ? constantly kept in the dark, and treated like bulls**t. We?re left with the disquieting feeling there?s an awful lot going on behind the scenes we don?t know about; a simple statement straight from the Chairman?s mouth would, at the very least, be a common courtesy.

A possible change of helmsman might be a pretty drastic step for this football club to take, but I wouldn?t go as far as saying that what happens now would determine the club?s future over the next ten or twenty years, as comedian Frank Skinner opined today. That?s a tad melodramatic, to say the least. Were we still stuck in the era of the likes of Tom ?I didn?t miss the penalties? Silk or Trevor Summers, then I might strongly agree, but Jeremy Peace is in a different galaxy altogether, comparatively speaking. You can be damn sure that should he tell Megson not to bother coming to the training ground in future, he?s already got the chosen Heir Apparent waiting in the wings, and of one other thing you can be certain also. Whoever it might be, they won?t be of similar underachieving ilk to the likes of Alan Buckley. Whatever might happen, I?m pretty certain that Peace?s overriding consideration will always be what?s good for the club, and its future development.

Bearing all the above in mind, it goes without saying that tomorrow?s game could well have a considerable impact on any decision Jeremy might have to make in the immediate future. Lose, and Gary?s P45 is taken out of the safe and dusted off once more; win or draw, and he might well get a temporary reprieve. It would be in our manager?s interests, therefore, to select a side that should, in theory, at least, be capable of banging the ball into the back of the net a little more frequently than of late, and on more occasions than the opposition. That, presumably, is why Earnie is definitely getting his Hawthorns first-team start, along with Kanu. A shame for The Horse, sure, but what?s needed right now is speed of Mach One proportions in front of goal, and Earnie?s most certainly The Fastest Forward In The West (Brom). We should also be blessed by the return of Tommy Gaardsoe from injury, which should stiffen up our Anfield-mauled rearguard a tad. Scouse Jase should also be back to his normal Hawthorns self, following his Anfield return; hopefully, his astute football brain will be instrumental in getting some sorely-needed ammo to the forwards, for a change..

As for The Cottagers (hello ducky?), midfielder Steed Malbranque is back in contention after he came through a reserve team fixture on Wednesday night. Carlos Bocanegra is unavailable with a hamstring strain he sustained in training this week, while Fulham are still without Claus Jensen (calf), Lee Clark (calf) and Jerome Bonnessel (groin). Ironically, our opponents are on a bit of a sticky wicket themselves, being just above us in the table following a three-match run of bad results; unluckily so, from all accounts, after their fruitless tryst with The Arse last week, and the strange refereeing decisions emanating from that game. Oddly enough, getting a result at our expense is of paramount importance to them also. Their manager, Chris Coleman, also feels he?s just a few bad results away from the sack. That statement doesn?t surprise me one bit. Their current owner, Mohammed el Fayed of Harrods fame, isn?t the most forgiving of folks; prior to the appearance of Coleman on the scene, Keegan apart, The Phoney Pharaoh went through gaffers such as Mickey Adams and the highly-respected Jean Tigana like the proverbial dose of salts. Does he suffer from high blood pressure, I ask myself. My guarded prognosis for tomorrow?s fixture? A narrow, and highly-fraught win for our finest, ooh, one-nil, I reckon

One other bit of news hit the streets today; last season?s hero Sean Gregan has now departed for Leeds, finally. The reported fee was ?500K, but with add-ons for the Elland Road club getting promotion, and so forth, the true amount could be in the region of a million squid winging its way to The Black Country eventually. Personally, I?m extremely sorry to see him go; during the latter part of our promotion run last season, he was rock-like at the back, and I eagerly looked forward to seeing what he could do in the Prem, so rapid was his learning-curve following the trauma of two seasons ago, but it?s now not to be, sadly. I can?t help but feel we?re making a big mistake by letting him go; our loss is most definitely United?s gain. Very commendable of him also to sing our manager?s praises to the press today, a diplomatic move presumably designed not to queer the pitch at his new club, thereby avoiding the label ?whinger? before he?s even started. Also, in football you never know from whom you might need a favour in future! On the other hand, you might argue that the lad didn?t research his new employers sufficiently before stating publicly: "You can see that just from walking about the place, with the training ground, the set-up and being around the city centre. I knew it was a bigger club before I signed." Oh whoops ? doesn?t Greegs know that whereas we own all our property, lock, stock and barrel, Leeds have had to lease most of theirs off, to satisfy the creditors?

There?s also possible transfer talk concerning Big Dave who, I?m given to understand, is being eagerly sought by Coventry City. Although he got injured during the latter stages of last season, his contribution to our push for promotion was enormous - just like the lad himself! Sure, he?s now down the pecking order, but he does have extensive Premiership experience, and there might well come a time when we are in great need of that reassuringly-enormous noddle of his at the back. He?s also such an excellent ambassador for the club, both on and off the pitch. Having been on the receiving end of one of his discourses on the power of positive thought myself, I can think of no better club captain for The Baggies. It?s bad enough shipping the likes of Greegs out up North, but Big Dave? Surely that?s a transfer out too far?

And Finally?. Who was the GD co-editor who, intending to send an email missive to the editor of the Blues fanzine, mistakenly landed it in my inbox instead? Come on, have a heart; do I really look (and write!) like the ? erm - ?brains? behind ?Tired And Weary??

 - Glynis Wright

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