The Diary

01 September 2004: Meggo's Turning Japanese - I Really Think So!

Yes ? I know I did say I was going to shut up for the duration of our enforced break, but what with the exciting news we seem to have acquired some interesting captures today (scuttlebutt has it there may be a last-gasp recruit or two to come, still, but don?t hold your breath), I simply had to pick up my pen, dust off my best PC-tapping finger, and get down and get with it (sorry, Slade) once more.

We?d heard premonitory rumbles about a month before that we were after Junichi Inamoto from Gamba Osaka, and, of course, again over the last 24 hours, but when I put on Ceefax in an idle moment early this afternoon, to see what, if anything, was shaping up on the last day, I was quite surprised to see we?d actually got him. What puzzled me at that stage, though, was the injury (hairline fracture of the leg) he?d received when playing for Japan in their friendly against England earlier this summer; surely he couldn?t have recovered from that in such a short space of time? I know the medical profession can work miracles at times, but not that quickly. As, indeed, they haven?t, but Jeremy Peace has been a little bit of a cute cookie over this one. The Baggies will pay Gamba Osaka their ?200,000 transfer fee only when Inamoto kicks his first competitive ball for the club.

In the unlikely event he doesn't regain full fitness and fails to make a senior appearance before January 1, Albion will have the option to release him without paying a single yen. No worries, though: reports say our little soldier is well on the road to recovery and his representatives are hopeful he will ready for Premiership action by as early as October. He?s also committed himself to a two-and-a-half year Hawthorns contract, plus a year's option in the club's favour. The general idea is for the lad to link up with us pretty soon, then build up his match sharpness (for that, read Megson-fitness!) with the reserves before reporting for Premiership duty. Should brighten up our second-string jaunts to Kiddy no end, methinks.

What do we know about him? I must confess, that apart from remembering his appearances for Fulham against us, and that extraordinary red hair of his, not a lot, personally. Unless you lot out there know more than I do. According to the grapevine, he?s 24 years of age, a midfielder, 5ft 11in, has spent the past three seasons on loan at Arsenal and Fulham, and is described as being as big in the Far East as David Beckham is in England. You know what that means, don?t you? Mind you, we had a small hint of what may be in store for us Baggie-watchers in future the last time Mr. Inamoto came to The (non-Shinto, sorry, although The Rev might be able to sort something out on that score soon) Shrine. Anyone remember all those bloody Japanese reporters buzzing here, there and everywhere the last time we played them at home? Not to mention the presence of numerous small Oriental chaps who?d temporarily sworn loyalty to the London club because of his appearance in their colours; more Nikons a-clicking in Halfords Lane that day than you could shake a Samurai sword at, as I recall.

I just hope the club shop gear themselves up properly for what we are about to receive, though; one great big mass of Nippon storming their premises on matchdays, not shouting ?Banzai!? fortunately, but certainly desirous of wanting to wear the sacred stripes without further delay! Time to get onto our shirt manufacturers and sort out more stocks, I reckon. Another thought: perhaps we regular supporters ought to take the trouble to inculcate our newest recruits into the ways of a true Baggie by getting them to ingest whacking great loads of bitter pre-match, accompanied by enough pork scratchings to keep the average pig-farmer happy for a very long time indeed? Mind you, it?s a medical fact their metabolism can?t cope half as well with alcohol as ours, so that means a hell of a lot of well-gone orientals on the streets, pre-match, methinks. Another thought: Would the phrase ?All roite, aer kid-san?? catch on with them? How well does the word ?Bostin??, or any Black Country dialect, come to think of it, translate into Japanese? How good are their ?Boinging? skills? Could be we?re in for a very interesting remainder of the season indeed.

Of course, his arrival might see our catering go in some very unusual directions also. Anyone fancy the refreshment bars in the Brummie being converted into their sushi equivalents, then? Very good for the brain, is fish, so I?m told. Sashimi I especially recommend, although the stuff is raw when served. Not that you?d notice, mind, it just tastes like very fresh fish; one dips it in things like soy sauce or wasabi (horseradish with attitude) to add a little more pazazz. Or, as an alternative to the usual fried, battered or pastry-encrusted stodge served at The Hawthorns, what about tempura? Little morsels of meat, fish and vegetables, fried in a very delicate and crispy batter indeed, then, when served, dipped into various sauces (not the one who runs the coaches ? sorry!) to taste, then eaten with chopsticks. Yummy. Could be interesting, though, seeing some of our ?regulars? attempting to master the art at halftime, especially after a pint (or three) of Bonkses. Chopsticks embedded in nasal orifices, anyone?

And, just in case we ever play The Dingles again, what about putting on fugu fish for our esteemed visitors in the away end? Wossat, you ask? Deadly, in short; because of the likelihood of encountering poisonous bits along the gastronomic way, those who eat it stand around a 25% chance of becoming very ill indeed, croaking it, even. Japanese gourmets regard this risk as being one of the ? erm - ?attractions? of the meal. Sounds about right for our brain-dead chums, then, don?t you think? Mind you, whatever Albion do decide upon to make our place more attractive to those supporting from The Land Of The Rising Sun, I just hope it doesn?t involve converting the bogs to the sort common in Japanese hotels. Well do both ?Im Indoors and myself remember the time we had an overnight stopover in Osaka; the toilet in our hotel room was computerised, with a digital panel. Trouble was, all the bloody instructions were in Japanese. ?All I want to do is go and have a flaming piddle!?.? wailed I as we tried to decipher the thing, failing lamentably. We finally did sort it out, but it didn?t half take a lot of head-scratching before the sweet-sounding noise of flushing water was heard in that room. Well, come on; how many of you would have had the nerve to simply ring reception and ask?

As far as our second signing goes, that one was a complete bolt out of the blue for me. I genuinely had never heard of the name Cosmin Contra until The Fart rang us at teatime today to let us know. Even when I asked ?Im Indoors about the name, all I got by way of reply was, ?WHO?? Now I?ve done some research, though, I?m beginning to think that once more, our chairman might have been very shrewd indeed. Born December 15 1975, in Timisoara, Romania, our man comes to us from Atletico Madrid, and he?s here on loan for the rest of the season. The terms of the deal will see Albion pay a set figure to Atletico each time he plays for us.

He was previously at AC Milan, who paid ?5 million for his services. He?s a right back, about 180 cm tall (around 6 feet), has been capped 31 times, with 2 goals to his credit, and made his international debut in April 1996, v Georgia. He was Romanian Footballer of the Year in 2001, and helped Romania pip England to the Euro 2000 quarter-finals, where they suffered a 2-0 defeat against Italy. He was also an integral part of the Deportivo Alaves side that dramatically lost 5-4 to Liverpool in the 2001 UEFA Cup Final. He doesn?t seem to have figured much for the Spanish club last term, although that was down to an ankle ligament problem suffered in pre-season, for which he required surgery last October, and has since found it difficult to regain his first team place. I?m sure Albion fully checked out his prospects for recovery before clinching the deal, though. Whatever Jeremy Peace may be, he?s no mug, of that I?m 100% sure.

What with all this movement in recently, you would have thought that there?d be an exit in the opposite direction to compensate, but so far, there hasn?t. There was a rumour going round that Clem would be on his way to Palace (The Sun reckoned for ?750K, so it must be right) but at the time or writing, around the actual time of the deadline, nothing whatsoever seems to have come of that little snippet. If things stay as they are, that means an awful lot of good players kicking their heels in the reserves. Not being the sort of club (well, not yet, anyway!) that needs a rotation system, as practised by the likes of Man U, The Arse and Chelsea, I can only foresee a great deal of unhappiness at the situation. Not every player is a mercenary; whatever the size of their wage-packet, most need the stimulation of regular first-team football to make their everyday existence worthwhile. How the hell do you keep good players stuck in that position content?

And, in the midst of all this frenzied transfer activity, what about the ones that got away? Olympique Lyon have signed Sylvain Wiltord on a two-year contract with an option for one more. "I was interested in coming here because I always loved to play for winning clubs," he told a press conference today. So much for his declared intent not to go there, then! As for our old mate, Dindane, well, here?s what the Anderlecht website has to say: ?Anderlecht-striker Aruna Dindane, who didn't show up for training since Thursday and was also absent for the game against AA Ghent last Saturday, has left for Ivory Coast. This week Aruna is preparing - with his colleague-internationals - the match against Sudan on Sunday in his country of origin.? As I?d said in a previous instalment, he?s effectively on strike, and the news seems to have reached wider footballing circles also. Tonight I saw the same thing on Ceefax. I suppose you can condemn him for not turning out for them, but on the other hand, it would seem they promised to grant him his transfer wish once the preliminary rounds of the Champions League were over, then reneged on the deal. Oh well, now it?s almost the witching hour and there?s no chance of getting him, that?s their worry, now. Unless we have another episode of the sorry saga later in the season, of course.

And finally?..One. Remember the Paul Crichton saga I told you about the other day? Oh, whoops, it seems there have been even more developments. What happened during that game is now coming out; it now seems there was an allegation Crichton told some York supporters he didn?t care for the club, and was only there for the money. That?s what started the bother with their useless custodian that led to two people being chucked out, and the rozzers and safety staff getting involved. Our former walking disaster has vehemently denied this, but he?s still been suspended (from the crossbar, by a thick rope?) pending an internal investigation by York, who are, in effect, owned by their supporters, so his alleged actions of Saturday afternoon were one hell of a bad career move, whichever way you want to look at it.

Personally, I believe Mr. Crichton was telling the truth, as he?s a very sensitive lad indeed, a quirk of his character that?s been at the root of most of his troubles in the professional game. Someone like that isn?t going to make rash remarks like that whilst in the midst of an important match, I would have thought. On the other hand, it?s commonly said in football that all goalkeepers are mad, so who knows? One other thought, their manager (Crichton?s mate, according to the blurb I read) might soon be on his bike also, as they lost 1-0 to Accrington tonight, which must leave them quite close to the bottom of the Conference table right now.

Two. According to the list I?ve just clapped eyes on, Gary Megson is now the ninth longest serving league manager in this country, just pipping Graham Souness, who joined Blackburn around the same time, in March 2000, to it. Next up is from Meggo our old mate Neil Warnock, who has around four months seniority as a Blade on our hero. Top, of course, is Dario Gradi of Crewe Alex, who, I reckon, was their manager around the time George Stephenson ran his Rocket. Not quite true, of course, but it certainly feels that way! Blimey, what with some well-known faces getting the bullet recently, and more to come, no doubt, at this rate, our leader is going to be a national institution before too long!

Three. Sorry, but I?ve got to say it before anyone else does. In the event of a goalmouth scramble, and Inamoto is in the thick of the action, can we now truly say, ?Coo, there?s a bit of a nip in the air?.??

 - Glynis Wright

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