The Diary

05 May 2004: Potteries Pottiness?

Greetings, once more, from sunny downtown Bearwood - and am I still hopping mad about last night?s no-show at The Britannia Stadium! Sure, a couple of flukey goals from The Potters started the rot - you can?t really legislate for someone?s leg getting in the way of what was seemingly a harmless sort of punt at goal, then deflecting it in, plus our best keeper electing to wear Teflon-coated gloves for the occasion ? but, in the main, what we witnessed last night after conceding that second was absolute rubbish, pure and simple. Our leader was dead right, for once; had we played like that earlier in the season we would have been relegated. Already I know of people who were so angered by what happened on Saturday, and last night, they?ve now said they won?t be going to the civic reception on Friday night. While not sharing those views entirely, after last night?s embarrassing performance, I can certainly see where they?re coming from.

When that third goal hit the back of the net, turning away from the field of play for a moment, I quickly scanned the faces of my fellow supporters, and what I saw there wasn?t anger, as such, more bewilderment at such a thing being allowed to happen in the first place. I suppose you could call it the Baggies supporting-equivalent of shell-shock, really. Looking at the whole thing in retrospect, did our rapid collapse stem from taking Hughsie off and bringing on Sakiri? You really do have to wonder. At least our resident ginger-nut was doing some splendid work on the flank, and at one stage, was unlucky not to score, the effort being kicked off the line.

Or, looking at the game from a purely astronomical point of view, did that total eclipse of the moon, although hidden from view because of atrocious weather conditions, exert some kind of adverse influence over our finest? After all, there are numerous accounts in literature that tell of people acting very strangely indeed on those occasions, so why shouldn?t footballers be exempt? In fact, the not-very-PC word ?lunatic? itself stems from the popular belief, held in Victorian times and beyond, that people suffering from severe psychiatric disorders always got worse when the moon was full, and in view of what happened at The Britannia Stadium last night, who am I to argue?

Sadly, the repercussions of what happened regarding Jason Koumas?s 88th minute dismissal could well come back to haunt us when we begin next season in the Prem; according to the official website, Jason will now be out for our first four games of ?04-?05. What with last night?s dismissal, and the one at The New Den the other week, plus a few sundry yellow cards chucked in for good measure, what Jason?s disciplinary record must look like to the FA doesn?t bear thinking about. As I said yesterday, I didn?t see what happened myself, but if he is guilty as charged, which does appear to be the case, reading between the lines of what the good Doctor John had to say on the subject, then I really do hope both his manager and his Albion team-mates have told Koumas his fortune in no uncertain terms.

If what the press say is to be believed, then this was undoubtedly an act of sheer capricious petulance, a bit like a five-year-old smacking another in nursery class out of sheer frustration because he couldn?t get his own way. Will the club also fine Jason the maximum two week?s wages, I wonder? Either way, his brief moment of madness now means we?ll be without his services right at the very time we?ll desperately need him. Perhaps the club ought to send him on one of those anger-management courses, the same sort of thing magistrates order for low-level yobs? One way or another, he?s sure as hell one player who needs to learn how to control his temper, and quickly, too.

Lightening the mood somewhat after that somewhat gloomy prognosis, anyone out there have any idea what led to The Belly?s (presumable) nicking and ejection from the ground last night? The mere sight of our adipose hero?s mountainous abdominal features can?t be sufficient cause for arrest on its own, can it? Or do they have a strong moral code that totally forbids the sight of bare flesh in the Potteries? Either way, those stewards didn?t half have a struggle shifting the lad from A to B. Did it take five to do the job, or was that my imagination? Whatever precipitated the removal in the first place, I daresay the final reckoning for our man-mountain follower will come during the close season, courtesy of magistrates count proceedings. Whatever the sentence, there?s sure to be a banning order attached and covering next season in its entirety, which makes the whole thing not very big or clever, doesn?t it? I don?t know the guy all that well, but I have spoken to him briefly on a couple of occasions. He comes across as a genuine supporter, if a greatly misguided one, to me so I reckon any ban will hit him pretty hard. I wonder if the guy?s sitting there, right now, and fervently wishing he could turn back the clock?

Back on Friday evening with an account of the civic reception in Oldbury town centre, which should give us all something to smile about, if only on a temporary basis.

And finally?.. It appears The Fart has now solved his ongoing PC problems, because this morning, I had a mail from him to say he can now get on the net and send/ receive messages. Trouble is, he doesn?t know how he did it! Personally, I blame the sherry!

 - Glynis Wright

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