The Diary

17 April 2004: S-Day Minus Two - And Counting!

Just two stomach-churning, indigestion-making days to go ? a mere 48 hours ? before the ?big one? hits, and suddenly, everyone wants to talk Albion with me! All to be expected, I suppose, as my affiliations are well known to most people I converse with on a regular basis, but some of that interest isn?t half coming from some unlikely sources. Having said that, I wasn?t all that fazed when I took myself to my quack?s surgery earlier today and found myself treading familiar ground once more; apart from all the ?usual? about my back, he seemed far more intent on nattering about our prospects for Sunday?s game than anything else, and how we stood regarding the ?going up? stakes generally. Mind you, by not admitting to long-standing Villa-supporting tendencies when interviewed for a place at medical school, my GP must have somehow slipped through the rigorous selection process involved, so you do have to make allowances sometimes. I can only assume that being of a Seal-like bent, he?s a whiz on piscine anatomy and physiology, and that?s what got him through his pre-clinical years, and, if dealing with Birmingham based patients, through his student hospital placements as well. Though how the hell you chuck a medical degree in the direction of someone who has a preference for balancing beach-balls on his nose, and going ?Arf! Arf!? occasionally, ask me one on sport!

The good doc wasn?t the only one to puncture my normal routine by asking questions in quantity about the beautiful game; it seems my stepmother, whose interest in football is normally virtually zero, has also cottoned on to the fact that Sunday?s fixture is rather important to us. Tonight, when we visited as usual, much to my surprise, she was bandying around stuff about games left to play, points required, what would happen if we won or drew on Sunday, all that jazz, like she?d been going to The Shrine for years. Blimey, she has got it bad. The fact her brother is a supporter helps, of course, so I?ve now come to the conclusion she?s been thoroughly-brainwashed by him already!

Once we?d left my stepmother?s place, we then shifted ourselves sharpish down to The Shrine. Why? Simple. There?s been some publicity in today?s E and S about Albion expecting a queue overnight for when those precious Reading tickets go on general sale tomorrow morning. It was raining in the irritating way it does when the stuff finally but insidiously settles on the back of your neck and your hair when we left Stone Cross, so we reckoned nine o?clock was as good a time as any to see if there were any super-early birds staking their claim outside. When we did pass the ground, around 10 minutes later, there were no ?happy campers? in place as far as we could see, but bearing in mind the club?s statement that facilities would only be on stream after midnight, I can only assume those wanting to overnight outside will wait until the pubs chuck out, then make their way to the ground afterwards. Well done, Albion, though, for showing some foresight by making these preparations; apparently, the club are opening the East Stand concourse to any overnighters brave enough to go the full distance, which means there will be toilet facilities available, plus, of course, a dry and sheltered place to wait until opening time. Eats will also be available on the car-park outside, as I understand it. Even so, and assuming all that low cloud will keep any frosty intentions at bay during those wee small hours, it?s going to be a long, long night for some people.

Even The Fart?s been busy with the media tonight, talking (very sensible) turkey with Franksy on his Radio WM thingy about Sunday and the implications of various scenarios, likely and unlikely, for our promotion prospects. As El Tel quite rightly said on that show, Sunday?s game is absolutely massive, and should we win or draw, depending on what Sunderland do at Crystal Palace in midweek ? The Eagles still have high hopes of making the play-offs, so they?re hardly likely to just curl up and die on command ? and also how they do at Wigan (no formality either) about three hours before we kick off, then we might just be celebrating come that final whistle versus poor, almost certainly doomed Bradford. It?s a long shot, sure, but still a possibility, all the same.

Although The Fart seemed to think it couldn?t be decided next week, we most certainly know it could. Oh well, must be extreme longevity exerting an adverse effect on his poor brain cells! Or could it be the sherry? The thing is, in return for him seeing to our moggies while we?re away at our holiday retreat, by way of thanks, we always present the old curmudgeon with a decent bottle of the stuff, and what with us winning or drawing so many vital games of late, more and more has our Methuselah-clone co-editor been partaking of celebratory strong waters on his return! We really started wondering on the way to Millwall, when he threatened to drink half a pint of the stuff should we win! You know something? Just lately, I?ve been trying my hardest to visualise the old sod when flown in drink, but for the life of me, I can?t! Mind you, after enduring all the hardships of Scutari, the South African veldt, plus the muck and bullets of the Somme trenches etc. he?s hardly going to be counting units, is he?

One other thought about Sunday; if the tension?s really getting to us here in Blighty, what?s it like for those of you based in out-of the-way places like Oz, New Zealand, or the continental USA, even? At least we can converse readily with other Baggies, listen to/read the local media, and, come the day, actually watch the thing in the flesh, and give vent to our feelings accordingly; what it must be like to have to sit hunched over a PC at some daft time of night, or watch proceedings on the box courtesy of some enterprising bar owner or whatever, I can?t begin to imagine. Should things go against us, will there be a strong temptation to put a size nine boot through the monitor on the part of you expatriate lot? Or, if watching the game courtesy of one?s local bar, drinking the place dry just to ?forget?? Whichever way you look at it, it can?t be easy. And there?s all those non-combatants in the family to think about, as well. Is the use of earplugs or distraction therapy mandatory for your non-Baggie family members right now? Or is it a case of ?one wrong word and it?s into the dunny head-first with you?.?? Go on, reveal all; your secret is safe with me. Ish.

I was amazed to discover earlier today that Walsall have now dispensed with the services of manager Colin Lee. Sure, he was interviewed for the Plymouth post, but didn?t Walsall give him permission to talk to the West Country club in the first place? I?m also given to understand there was a clause in Lee?s contract which said he could do precisely that if a job he fancied became available, so if Walsall have taken it into their heads to give the bloke his P45 without warning or compensation, then I suspect the whole thing will go as far as legal proceedings, and what with The Saddlers? current cash-flow problems, the last thing they want right in the middle of a relegation battle is to end up paying compensation big-time. And, should they end up in the Second, they?ll not want that hanging over their heads in true Damoclese fashion.

As you probably all know by now, Paul Merson has taken over as caretaker on a temporary basis and tomorrow will find him getting quite a baptism of fire; they?re away to Norwich, of all people, poor sods. Having said that, sometimes, players react in quite unexpected ways to the loss of a gaffer, and it might well be their lads might want to turn it on for Merson while he?s ?filling the hole?, so to speak. If that should happen, then those Canaries might not be whistling their normal chirpy tune come the end of tomorrow?s proceedings, which could mean springtime big-time for us should we grab the spoils on Sunday, of course. That jammy win of theirs last Monday did make the task of catching them slightly more difficult, but it?s not totally out of the question. If they did slip up against The Saddlers, what an incentive for us to go for it.

Back tomorrow with my usual pre-match historical town low-down, and so forth. Until then, just keep nibbling those nails!

And finally?. According to the Guardian today, it seems we Baggies have been doing our bit recently in the furtherance of scientific research. Apparently, our followers (a total of 13 Prem and Nationwide clubs were involved) were among some 557 footie-people recruited by Northumbria University sports psychology department for a study on how supporters saw themselves in comparison to those of other clubs. I can?t say I was that surprised by the findings; that supporters saw themselves as superior to all others, even when their side kept losing. After all, with our dysfunctional local rivals about to drop like a stone, whatever our results, there?s just no real competition around, is there? One other thought; who in Baggie-land participated in that research? According to the piece, supporters were recruited via various Albion websites, but this is the first time I?ve heard about it.

 - Glynis Wright

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