The Diary

15 April 2004: S-Day Minus Three - And Counting!

It?s getting closer, now, our ?day of reckoning?, and the latest news from the front is that we have only 500 tickets remaining for Sunday?s Wearside showdown. To be perfectly honest, if I were in charge of such matters at The Shrine, I?d be contacting the Stadium Of Light again and asking for an even bigger allocation; after all, their top whack is in the region of around 48,000, so a few thousand more Black Country bums on seats isn?t going to upset the applecart too much, is it? Not with the sort of low gates they?ve been having this term. The adrenalin-laden way things are right now in Baggie-land, I reckon there?d be no problem whatsoever shifting them, either. Oh ? and one other thing, apropos of the same theme. Is this game really going to be all-ticket, still, and if so, why? I ask because of the sheer capacity of the place (see above), plus the fact it doesn?t really make financial sense.

At least I?ve now found out the reason for Paul Robinson?s unexpected absence from the side on Monday; according to the official website, he?s had a stomach bug, but is now raring to go again. It?s going to be interesting to see whether Megson will stick with Clem or go with Robinson once more on Sunday. Personally, I?d keep Clem in the side for Sunderland. Reason? No disrespect intended towards Paul, but in my (humble) opinion, he?s got more to offer than the former Watford man. The thing is, while Robinson does a pretty sound job when asked to be an out-and-out defender, being a wing-back, and pelting like crazy up and down the flank to either get something going, or help out at the back isn?t his bag, really. Not only that, with Lloydy, he was instrumental in setting up our equaliser on Monday. And there?s another rather useful dimension to Clem?s game; he isn?t half good at taking free-kicks on the edge of the box. Sure, Scouse Jase is more than up to the mark in that department, but sometimes, you need to ring the changes for set-pieces, if only to give the opposition something more to think about. In any case, I?d fully expect Sunderland to have well and truly done their homework in the Koumas department, so giving Clem the chance of a poke occasionally might just be the sort of thing to put the Mackems right off their stride on Sunday.

I suppose the final decision will rest upon which way our leader wants to go; will he just aim at getting the draw and sod the aesthetics of the thing, or will he actually go for the win? Should he go for the former, I wouldn?t (Shock! Horror! Grorty Dick editor actually agrees with Megson!) blame him in the slightest for doing that, as a draw would still see us widening the gap, but not to such a great extent as a win would achieve. That would bring the number of points required down to about six or seven, if my maths isn?t too skew-whift. Even if we should fail, the way us Dick Eds are seeing it right now, it can only postpone the inevitable.

If, however, he elects to go for it, success would pretty much be an indication to put the champers on ice and ask Jeremy Peace for the cash to buy new road atlases. Pretty please? And, come the Bradford game, a possible excuse for a shindig. Remember, the Mackems play their game before ours kicks off, and against Wigan, who might want to get something from that one themselves, if only to manoeuvre themselves into a better play-off spot. Incidentally, my other half was ?oop North? earlier today, in sunny Sheffield, to be precise, and while there, he got talking to a colleague who is a rabid Mackem, when he?s not furiously compiling government statistics, that is. Apparently, the consensus among their supporters up there is that they?ve pretty much accepted they?re going to have to take a punt at it via the play-offs, and not by pipping us at the post. The word is the Portman Road defeat last Monday pretty much finished them off, and they don?t think there?s a lot more left in the tank (they still have a punishing schedule of fixtures to complete, as per my list of last Friday, remember?) to go at us in a big way any more.

Returning to the events of Monday again, apparently, our favourite football club are expected to make a decision within the next 48 hours whether they will appeal against the Gaardsoe dismissal. I know for a fact that the club were examining the possibility of an appeal more or less straight after the incident occurred ? my leetle spies do come in handy, sometimes! ? so it?s now down to what, if anything, was captured on video. According to our tame Viking, he still doesn?t really know why he had to walk; according to his version of events, Deech gave him a bit of a shove, and he then ?reached out for him? perhaps making ?slight? contact with his shirt, but not enough to stop him, apparently. In any case, our Danish defender reckons when it happened, the ball was nowhere near ? Russell Hoult had it well and truly in his capables by then - so Our Tom?s now quite mystified by the referee?s ruling that he took a goalscoring opportunity away from the ex-Albion striker.

As the guy said today, he?s quite miffed by what happened because since coming into the side, he?s only been booked four times, which, for a centre-half in a side chasing honours, is pretty good going by any standards. The only way this is going to be resolved to anyone?s satisfaction is by close examination of the video evidence; let?s face it, ?twould be a great pity if we were deprived of TG?s services for that vital Reading game because of this. In any case, going to The Madjeski (renamed ?Valhalla? in our ground-guide, by the way!) just wouldn?t be the same without the man himself strutting his stuff on the pitch, now, would it?

A belated ?well done? to the stiffs, by the way, for that gritty 1-1 draw versus Man City the other night. Apparently, just like Monday, we were really up against it by half time, what with the home side being 1-0 in the lead, and N?Dour having to come off due to (unspecified) illness. Sakiri was the hero of the hour about ten minutes into the second 45, when he potted a penalty, thereby restoring parity once more. That game was also a milestone for Simon Miotto, our new signing; his first ever game between the sticks for us, so welcome to the Albion ?pleasure dome?, mate! Additionally, that fixture saw the return of Ronnie Wallwork to the fray for the first time since breaking his toe while on loan to Bradford City.

And finally?.. Just when you?d thought the idea of commissioning statues that revolve so they keep the sun constantly behind your sculptured image way out, here?s another one, courtesy of the same bloke. The somewhat eccentric (some would say ?barking-mad?!) president of Turkmenistan, Sapamurat Niyazof, who recently renamed the days of the week after various members of his family, and proscribed the ownership of both gold teeth and beards (shades of Russian Tsar Ivan The Terrible, there?), has now come up with yet another innovative idea for his small fiefdom. Not quite so prominent in the ?wacko? stakes, this one, though. Tuesday April the 27th has, and quite rightly, too, now been designated ?Horse Day?.

Blimey, even in the middle of Central Asia, despotic rulers have heard of our galloping striker?s goalscoring feats? I now consider myself suitably impressed, but I need to know just two things. What do the celebrations entail, precisely, and are those jollifications transferable to the interior of a football ground?

 - Glynis Wright

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