The Diary

12 May 2003: Some End-Of-Season Thoughts

Greetings.. This being my penultimate Diary entry of the 2002-03 season, I thought it might be worthwhile spending a little time clearing up a few Albion-related loose ends following yesterday's game, then having a butcher's at the First Division as it's likely to appear next August, followed by a swift foray into the fortune-telling business for our favourite football club. A risky game at the best of times, I know, but fun all the same, and if the turn of events next season proves to be vastly different to my admittedly rough-and-ready assessment, please feel free to hurl abuse (but no rotting fruit and veg, please, as I have the rest of the Halfords Lane Stand to consider!) in my direction come the end of the next campaign?

Right, then. Let's kick off with The Old Fart, metaphorically speaking, of course, as he wouldn't take at all kindly to being lobbed around like an inflated leather and plastic thingy! This morning, at around 11.15, I had a call from the old reprobate; he wanted to drop off his Dick takings from yesterday, also some piccies he'd had transferred to CD format for us. Twelve fifteen was the agreed ETA, so I spent some time washing my golden (not!) tresses, safe in the knowledge I had ample time to do so. Wrong! At ten to twelve I had another call; Terry was outside my door and could I let him in, please! Blimey, what the hell had he used, I wondered - Concorde? Nope - Travel WM had surpassed themselves by actually turning up on time, for once, which explained our co-ed's rapid appearance on our doorstep. Having let our veteran editor over the threshold, so to speak, Tel then regaled me with tales of yesterday's meeting with Sir Bobby; apparently, the whole thing had gone splendidly, and Newcastle's knighted gaffer proved to be the out-and-out gentleman El Tel remembered from 40 or so years ago. Within minutes of the pair meeting once more, reminisces of that time flew thick and fast to Marion Brennan's (the E and S hack who set up the whole thing) complete fascination; so much so, after The Fart had been 'done' by the paper's happy-snapper, she insisted on having her piccie taken with Sir Bobby as well! The results you can see in tonight's E and S; Terry, grinning like a Cheshire cat on high-potency Ecstasy, alongside his former team manager, both standing directly beneath the Albion crest situated just inside the players' tunnel. Aw, bless?

Another bit of news The Fart passed on to me was that Laraine Astle and her daughter Dawn were in the directors' box for yesterday's game, presumably as guests of Jeremy Peace, quite rightly, too, considering the various injustices done to her late husband by a previous Albion boardroom regime many moons ago. According to El Tel, she managed to have a few words with him about this and that, one topic of conversation being her thanks for the Dick article I'd penned about Jeff and his illness recently. I must say I was relieved to hear this; the last time I'd seen Laraine was at Sunderland, when I sold her a GD - because Jeff always insisted upon paying when he was alive, she does also - and I have to confess, because of the personal nature of the content, I was a tad apprehensive about how the piece would be received by the family, but The Fart assured me Laraine absolutely loved it, which is an almighty relief for this column, I must say, as I wouldn't have wanted to upset any of Jeff's family for anything.

On to other matters, then, and the totally predictable news that Albion have released six of their finest - Supes, Dessie Lyttle, The Beast, Ify, Matty Collins, and Jordao - with a certain Lee Marshall on the transfer list as well. No real surprises there, although there was a rumour doing the rounds prior to Sunday's game that Walsall were in the market for Mr. Taylor, and ready to do business. If this buzz is true - and considering Supes lives in the Lichfield area, there is a grain of sense surrounding it - then Walsall have certainly got themselves an asset. Not only do they get an experienced goalscorer well and truly proven at Division One level, they may well have acquired an additional member of the coaching staff as well. Everybody wins, as Supes doesn't have to disrupt his family by moving elsewhere, and The Saddlers get a veteran pro for next to nothing. Mind you, we've heard that Barmy Bobby has also been touting for Bob's services, but I'm sure that if it came down to a straight choice between the two, then The Saddlers would win every time. Should this be the case, I can predict fairly accurately what will happen when our paths cross in Division One next season - and, if you think about it long enough, so can you! Such speculation about the ultimate destination of our former favourite makes me wonder who would be the more embarrassed should Bob find the net against us - him or our lot?

The mention of our much-loved striker brings me to the question of Meggo's motives in playing the guy as he did; clearly, there was a seismic shift in our manager's mindset to make him do so, but what was interesting was the comment made by him to the effect that he had always planned to give us the opportunity of saluting the player one last time: "Playing Bob was an act of sentiment," he said. A curious remark, that, considering just ten days previously, the player himself told us that he had been given instructions via Frank Burrows not to bother to turn up for training any more, just to report to the ground on the day of the Newcastle game. Still, let's not be churlish about it: it appears that Meggo did finally bow to overwhelming supporter opinion, which, given his well-known stubborn streak, must have made for quite an effort of will on his part. With that in mind, I reckon that Bryn Jones's suggestion that we all write or email the club praising our manager for finally seeing sense about the whole affair is a fair one. We were all quick enough to criticise Gary when he seemed so intransigent about Bob, therefore it's only right that we should express in writing our delight for that subsequent (and totally-unexpected!) U-turn from our leader.

Talk of next season brings me neatly to a brief look at what the First Division's likely to look like next time round, some close-season and early indications of our likelihood of success, and who among the 24 clubs in the mixing-bowl are likely to pose a threat to our hopes of 'getting back in one'. Firstly, then, who will dip in the play-offs at either end? I reckon Reading, Forest and The Dingles to be playing First Division football come August, with Warnock's lot - their Cup-tie experience makes them doughty opponents in the play-offs - making the big-time via Cardiff. At the other end, I fancy Bristol City to make the quantum-leap to 'the other side'.

As far as our promotion hopes are concerned, an awful lot is going to hinge upon who we buy in the close season - and given we've just released six blokes from a squad verging on the microscopic already, we have no choice but to stiffen the ranks. The crux of the matter revolves around the old maxim that quality counts every time, therefore, it would be hoped that our manager is already formulating contingency plans to snap up likely (and cheap) targets before anyone else does; after all, with so many pros surplus to requirements looking for clubs, it's really got to be a buyer's market out there this summer. Come late June/early July, we'll have a pretty fair idea of the extent of our ambitions simply by looking closely at the CV's of our purchases, if any. Let's just hope that rumours of likely targets being reluctant to sign on the dotted for our manager because of his fearsome reputation among players are just that - rumours!

As The Noise said in the Dickmobile recently, he biggest indicator of all, of course, will be our form during those opening six or seven games. Sure, we've never been the best starters in that division - even when we finally made the big time, we still managed to lose the first two encounters of that season - but this time round, it's absolutely imperative we get off to a flying start and run at least some potential rivals right into the ground. Achieving it isn't going to be as easy as it seems at first sight; there is still the considerable psychological barrier of not winning at The Shrine since the Bradford Cup game to overcome, also the practical difficulties inherent in getting what amounts to a vastly-changed side to gel. Sure, we'll have the bonus of Big Dave's considerable (and dependable) bulk being back in the groove, but total synchronicity with the thoughts and deeds of other team members takes time to develop; a successful football team isn't like a packet of dried food, which, when soaked in water, can be allowed to achieve edible status overnight. Trouble is, though, the weight of expectation hanging around the club's neck like a dead albatross will demand players deliver the goods almost instantaneously; should we fail to do so during those opening games, then, rightly or wrongly, the abuse and barracking of scapegoats - erm, sorry, players - will begin in earnest.

In the preceding paragraphs, I touched on the pivotal role finance would have to play in the fortunes of Division One clubs this time round, and just a cursory examination of the balance-sheets of our fellow Division One travellers reveals that most may well find the task of mounting a credible escape-attempt too much for them. As far as Sunderland and West Ham are concerned, both are reported to be losing money hand over fist - The Hammers alone are reputed to be some ?25 million in the red - and will have to sell to balance their books; even then, that might not save them both from going into administration. Of the rest, only those with the equivalent of The Golden Tit at the helm - The Dingles, of course, Reading, Wigan - will have set-ups even remotely resembling a healthy financial state to show for their labours. Looking at other outfits in what is now our division, I reckon only Walsall are likely to be anywhere near showing a profit, but they've cut their cloth accordingly, and as a result, aren't likely to be wanting to better themselves at the moment. Forest were in a bit of a hole, but I suspect they've steadied the ship by now, so should they not succeed in the play-offs, they might be game for another go next time round.

As for the likes of Coventry, Derby, Ipswich, Norwich, Watford, Bradford and Wimbledon, they're either in administration already, or sailing uncomfortably close to it, so unless they strike lucky with either players or management (as I said earlier, it is a buyer's market, so it could happen), I suspect we can leave them out of next season's equation altogether. In short, given the overall parlous state of club finances at Division One level, the fact we've managed to turn a profit from our Premiership adventure may well swing it for us; as I see it, if we're going to achieve escape velocity at all, next season should provide us with a golden opportunity to do so. Let's hope we don't stuff up because of rocket-failure?

And finally... Yesterday's game proved to be an education for one particular Baggie in more than one sense of the word... While I was flogging Dicks for all I was worth outside the Police Post, who should arrive on the scene but a certain Bryn Jones, tame academic and winder-up of Danish railway employees extraordinaire, closely followed by a shifty-looking gentleman known to all and sundry as Anc. I can't rightly remember how the conversation steered itself around to the activities of a certain West Bromwich based club specialising in, shall we say, unusual sexual practices, but it did, and before you could say 'Bob Taylor', our lecturer friend's eyes opened wider and wider as Anc expounded at great length on the nitty-gritty of what their clients got up to when no-one was looking! Clearly, the sheltered cloisters and lecture theatres of Bath University are a million miles away from that sort of thing - so rumour has it?

 - Glynis Wright

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