The Diary

27 March 2004: Crystal Palace - The Final Countdown Starts Here!

Back once more after our Herefordshire sojourn. Raring to go for that all-important run-in? You bet. I suspect that over the next few days and weeks, we?re going to be so totally immersed in all things Albion we?ll end up not knowing our fundament from our funny-bone, which was the principal reason why we deemed our little country break so important to us in the first place. A good chance to recharge our batteries, basically. Unfortunately, we didn?t find any footy worth taking a shufti at while we were down there (sadly, the nearest decent club, Kington, didn?t have a game that week, despite having a fixture backlog the size of the East Stand), so we simply contented ourselves with visiting all the local beauty spots instead. Oh, and that included a mandatory visit to Hay-On-Wye, where all the local second-hand booksellers profited greatly to the detriment of my bank-balance.

As for the wildlife lurking around our little retreat, that?s much the same, with the notable exception of the swans ? I haven?t clapped eyes on them as yet, although I am assured they?re there again; sitting on their eggs and their future progeny, presumably ? but everything else is blossoming forth in heaps. Wild daffodils and primroses abound, down narrow country lanes, pheasants and grouse scuttle rapidly out of the way of passing cars, and all the ducks and geese (not to mention rabbits, of course) are doing with unbridled glee what ducks and geese (and rabbits!) tend to do at this time of year ? ooer, missus! - so it won?t be too long before everything is properly in bud, and little bands of chicks etc. are to be seen scuttling behind their more sedate parents in the vicinity of the lake .

Oh, and while I was down there, I managed to fulfil a long-standing request for pictures of lambs from GD bag-carrier Carly Lewis; once we?ve sorted out a new ink cartridge for our colour printer, that young lady will have more pictures of juvenile woolly ruminants than she?ll know what to do with. Sadly, the temperatures didn?t quite match the promise betokened by the blossoming forth of all that flora and fauna; come Thursday, it was only around eight Celsius and raining fit to bust, so we decided to return a day early. Still, as I remarked earlier, the break did us a power of good; now let?s hope our favourite football team manage to complete the rejuvenatory process by well and truly putting a smile on everyone?s faces come five o?clock tomorrow.

Interesting to note from the deals done on transfer deadline day that in marked contrast to previous seasons, only a comparatively few transactions took place for serious money; four or five only is my recollection, all the rest being either loans or ?frees?. That?s the realpolitik of present-day football in cash-strapped action, folks. Small as we are, comparatively speaking, we?re as rich as Croesus. We did pick up a ?keeper in footie?s version of the spring sales, though; Simon Miotto has come on board late doors to provide some much-needed cover for Houlty and Murph.

What do I know about him? Not a lot! I didn?t know much when I saw the name pop up on Ceefax yesterday, but I?ve since learned he?s 34-years of age, and worked with Gary Megson during his time at Blackpool. Should have guessed there?d be a connection, I suppose. Hailing from the Antipodes (well, Australia, if you want to get all picky with me over it) he?s had various spells with Huddersfield, Raith, Hartlepool, Scunthorpe and, most recently, St Johnstone. Not that I?d seriously expect to see him taking to the first-team field of play at all this term; that?s all covered most splendidly by the present dynamic custodial duo, although, what with Russell maintaining stoutly his determination to complete this season without resorting to more drastic measures to rid himself of his current back problems, you do have to wonder whether the guy?s doing the right thing. These conditions have a nasty habit of rearing their ugly heads some 20 or so years further down the line, by which time the sufferer is well and truly back in ?Civvy Street? and, maybe, not having full access to all the resources modern medicine can offer. Just ask Bomber Brown.

Thoughts about tomorrow?s encounter with Palace? Unlike our immediate promotion rivals, having had the benefit of no competitive game for about ten days, I would sincerely hope we?ll return to the fray suitably refreshed from that unexpected break (I?d call it a ?windfall?, but it isn?t a pretty sight, all that massed-vomiting by perfectly respectable Baggie people, and in their own homes, as well!) all raring to go, and profit suitably by grabbing all three points from tomorrow?s pot. It might well be that The Horse will be pronounced unsound in both wind and limb by the vet come the morrow, so once more, the question arises as to precisely who will constitute our strike-force.

Hughsie (that court date is now set for August, apparently, so at least we?ll have the guaranteed benefit of his services until the end of the season) will get the managerial nod on the back of that masterly midweek Wigan performance of his, I would think, but who will partner him? All the smart money today seems to be on Rob Hulse, but personally, I would much rather Delroy Boy filled the hole. Sure, he hasn?t got off the Albion mark, as yet, but against Norwich he looked sharp, swift and strong; given the right breaks he might well have done. Contrast that performance with that of poor Rob, who seems to have gone off the boil a tad of late (remember Crewe?), and the dilemma resolves itself. Will our manager see it that way, or does he have a Plan ?C? I don?t know about secreted away somewhere? With The Dear Leader?s famously devious mindset in full ?smokescreen? mode as per usual, it?s pretty hard to tell.

The other major dilemma seems to revolve around Jason Koumas. Prior to the Stoke game, it appeared to be that our gaffer was quite prepared to ditch him unceremoniously, the grounds for doing so being his continued underachievement of late ? Sakiri was pencilled in to take his place versus Stoke, apparently ? but will we still go with what was originally planned some seven days ago, and against quite different opposition? It might be Scouse Jase had sufficient sense to wake up and smell the coffee, and since Saturday did enough/ worked his knackers off sufficiently hard (a more likely scenario given our leader?s famous work-ethic!) to impress in training. The rest should be pretty much ?as you were?, and in a 4-4-2 thingy, I would presume.

How will things pan out tomorrow? Blimey, if I was that proficient at the old fortune-telling business, I?d be sunning myself in Oz on the proceeds of my winnings, and not typing this from a house in Bearwood, but I will venture some thoughts of my own on the subject. For what it?s worth, I reckon we?ll pot the points tomorrow, which will then leave us to find around three wins from eight games. I don?t anticipate Norwich slipping up, though; they?re at home versus The Clay Heads tomorrow, and I can?t believe for one moment they?ll fall down on that job.

Poking my bony little fingers into the Canaries website earlier today, this is what manager Nigel Worthington chirruped to their feathered faithful: ?Stoke is a game where the fans and players may well have to be patient again. They are quite a hard team to break down defensively and are also on the back of a defeat from midweek. It will be a battle at times, but we are at home and we've got a great record at Carrow Road, so if the crowd get behind us from minute one, I don't think we will have any worries.

The approach to every game now is that we want promotion and to do that we must win games. There are nine games to go, we know what we need to do and I believe we will do it. Other teams have got to do a lot more than ourselves, so the pressure is on them not on us, and I just want my team to go out there with smiles on their faces, enjoy their football and rise to the challenge."

Personally, I?d be happy just to let them take all the glory and quietly finish up in runners-up spot, just like two years ago; anything else would be a happy bonus for this Baggie. I?ve never, ever seen us win championship silverware, but this season wouldn?t be a bad time to start, would it? Their drive for the Championship does seem to have hit a bumpy patch of late, which is the principal reason why we?re now in a position to go top of the heap should they do the unthinkable and slip up tomorrow. One thing?s for sure; I?m most certainly not going to travel down the same road as some supporters have been doing on the mailing list today, and trying to predict our final League placing; as far as I?m concerned, that would really be tempting Fate! For the present, I?m purely thinking ?runners-up? and sod how many points it takes to do it.

Looking at our other immediate rivals, this is what Sunderland?s Mick McCarthy had to say about their encounter with The Rams: "Derby are scrapping for points. George Burley will have them well organised, well coached and every team in this division is capable of picking up results. We'll just focus on the game and not worry about the opposition or where they are in the league. Like all teams in this division, Derby still have something to play for.?

I have to confess, I?m hoping like hell that their microscopic menace, Peschisolido, can make his pesky presence felt in and around some unwelcome parts of The Stadium Of Light tomorrow; unwholesome creature that he is, he does have the ability to turn games in the twinkling of an eye, and that?s what I would like to see from him. A Ram-raid! Another vagrant thought about the Wearside Mob; they?ve got that FA Cup semi of theirs a week on Sunday, of course, and from then on in, they?ve got three more games in the space of around seven days. The Tuesday following the semi they?ve got Wimbledon (should be a shoo-in, I know, as The Dons have only picked up about one point in their last 10), then on the Friday of that week they?ve got Sheffield United, followed on the Monday by yet another game, but away this time. I?m not sure about the opposition for that one (although someone will tell me after reading this, no doubt) but that?s one hell of a punishing schedule for anyone, let alone an outfit coming to the end of a gruelling season, and possibly facing an FA Cup final appearance, and all the exciting spin-offs that entails. If they can extract maximum points from that little lot, and still give us a run for our money by doing so, then I?ll gladly say ?fair play to them? and be done with it.

Incidentally, another thought about The Milton Keynes Franchise: doomed as they are, they really could have quite a bearing upon who goes up/ends up in the play-offs this term. I?m given to understand although we?re very much at the fag-end of ?03-?04, our ersatz chums still have to play most of the top sides, i.e. Sheffield United, Sunderland, Norwich, The Hammers et. al. either at their place or away. Daft as it might seem, we?re just about the only side in contention to have played ?em both home and away. (If you value your life, though, don?t talk to me about those bloody wasted points!) I don?t suppose, just for once, their customary generosity in defence could temporarily absent itself without leave, could it?

As far as Sheffield United and West Ham are concerned, I would venture (cautiously, mind!) that both have well and truly shot their automatic promotion bolt; their only remaining hope of redemption must now surely lie via the play-offs. In short, there?s only one barrier now remaining between us and automatic promotion. What is it? Simple. OURSELVES. Never mind what the chasing few below us are doing; what we have to do right now is keep our sights firmly fixed upon that finishing post, tantalisingly close as it is, and resolve to keep clocking up those points, no matter what. Another four wins will see us in a position to declare ?mission accomplished?, and for those celebrations to really begin in earnest. All being well, it won?t be a ?last-day? affair this time round, either.

Mention of celebrations brings me quite nicely to that of our last weekend away game of the season, Reading, and the chosen theme for our usual festivities. As I said in the preceding paragraph, by that time, with any luck, all the variables in the equation will be sorted to our advantage, and we?ll be truly able to let our collective hair down in style. Quite organised was the vote this time, and even our favourite football club assisted by publicising the whole thing via their official website, as did the local media. Well done, Anc, also for ensuring the story gained such prominence in the local press and elsewhere.

As I mentioned before, there were four options up for grabs - Biblical, military, Rock Festival as per Reading?s, and Vikings in honour of our Danish defender ? and while we were away, all the votes cast for each option were dutifully counted. The result? In case you haven?t heard already, it?s going to be a Viking invasion of the Thames Valley region, folks, so grab those horny helmets and false beards while they?re still smokin?. Those who purchased while in Denmark for the pre-season friendlies can feel suitably smug, I suppose. That choice of theme now leaves me conjecturing greatly; just what role, if any, did the female side of the Norse persuasion play in the whole ?conquest? thing? Would I be historically accurate by displaying horns to my public come the end of April, or should I adopt a less-stereotypical Viking look instead? Decisions, decisions!

And finally?.. A huge ?nul points? to the Ludlow restaurant that eagerly pressed Mother?s Day choccies into my little mitts when my hubby and I patronised their establishment for nosh last Sunday!

 - Glynis Wright

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