Baggies Chants

Some of these songs are becoming a bit out of date now, and more are desperately needed for new players. If you've heard any new ones, or old ones we've missed, let us know and we'll put them up...

Latest suggestion, courtesy of John Hipkiss, and due for an airing for the visitors from Seal Park on the 21st September is a reworking of Is This The Way To Amarillo:

Is this the way to hammer Villa
With lots of goals from Ishmael Miller
We'll be s***ting on the Villa
When Ishmael Miller scores for me

La La La La La La La La
West Brom

La La La La La La La La
West Brom

La La La La La La La La
When Ishmael Miller scores for me

Previousl version as heard during the 4-1 thrashing of Charlton at the Valley a few years back (thanks to Cuzer and Neil):

Is this the way to hammer Villa
With lots of goals from Zoltan Gera
We'll be s***ting on the Villa
When Zoltan Gera scores for me

La La La La La La La La
West Brom

La La La La La La La La
West Brom

La La La La La La La La
When Zoltan Gera scores for me

Steve Davis sent in this one, with our name seamlessly edited into the old classic:

Mine eyes have seen the glory of the Albion
Mine eyes have seen the glory of the Albion
Mine eyes have seen the glory of the Albion
And the Baggies keep marching
On, on, on.

Glory, glory West Bromwich
Glory, glory West Bromwich
Glory, glory West Bromwich
And the Baggies keep marching
On, on, on.

Pundit Rodney Marsh had some unkind words for us when we were promoted first time around. Jan Slade chuckled to hear this little ditty being sung at the Norwich game:

Where's your job gone
Where's your job gone
Where's your job gone Rodney Marsh?
We're the pigs in f.....g lipstick
And we're having such a laugh.

Thanks to A J-B for sending this one in, heard coming from the East Stand recently and sung to the tune of a Scottish reel called "The Campbells are coming":

Campbell is coming so better be quick
Just give him the ball he will do the trick
He can score a goal with either stick
Campbell is coming so better be quick

A J-B also sent us this one of his own, which he calls "Boing Spiritual". To the tune of Amazing Grace, it goes:

Boing Boing, Boing Boing, Boing Boing, Boing Boing
Boing Boing, Boing Boing, Ba-a--a-g-gies
Boing Boing, Boing Boing, Boing Boing, Boing Boing
Boing Boing, Boing Boing, Baaggiies
Go West Brom, Go West Brom

If we're honest, this one is never likely to be sung from the terraces because it's far too long and hard to remember. But Kev Buckley's rework of the Benny Hill classic is such a masterpiece that we just had to list it here:

(With apologies to Benny Hill, Geoff Horsfield, Andy Johnson and Rob Earnshaw's girlfriend)

You could hear the foot beats pound as he raced across the ground
And the clatt'ring of defenders as they tried to bring him down
As he galloped onto balls to feet, his Throstle on his chest
His name was Earnie, could have been a better striker than the rest

Now Earnie's rightful partner, a bloke known as Kanu
Wore twenty five: it doesn't rhyme - Bernt Haas had 22
They said he was too good for us, a luxury player, chic
But he played Earnie in on goal a few times every week

Keep trying Earnie
Earnie
He was more likely to score than all the rest. (put together!)

His girl she wished to bathe in milk, he said "Right luv, for a larf"
And when he'd gone round hers one night, he filled a stand-up bath
He said, "D'you want it pasteurized? 'Cause pasteurized is best
She says, "Ernie, wont you drown love, you only come up to my chest"

And they tickled old Earnie (well they would, she was a big girl)
Earnie
He was a quite a little short-arse - said in jest

Now Ernie had a rival, a quite-good-looking man
Called Geoff Horsfield from Halifax, who once drove a brickie's van
He toiled away with his battling style and the balls aimed at his head
And when she seen the size of his tree trunk thighs, well her cheeks turned very red. (As any girl's would, let's face it)

She nearly swooned when his shots ballooned but he said, "If you feed me right"
"I'll win free kicks from defenders, though the goals scored will be tight"
He knew once she sampled his "backing in", he'd have his wicked ways
And all Earnie had to offer was ten minutes some matchdays

Poor old Earnie
Earnie
But he was more likely to score than all the rest

(Tempo quickens)

The next match Geoff saw Earnie start a game we dare not draw
It drove Geoff mad with Earnie still not subbed at half past four
And as he leapt down from the bench, hot blood through his veins did course
When he went to play him in first time, we'll he didn't half leave it short

No chance to pull the trigger
Trigger
Sandwiched by two centre-backs who came off best

So Earnie moved out into the space, and pointed with his hand
He said, "If you want my place boyo, you'll score goals like a man"
"Oh why don't we win fouls for it?" Geoff sneeringly replied
"And just to make it interesting, we'll have AJ in the side!"

Now Earnie showed from gap to gap beneath the blazing sun
While Geoff stood with his back to goal, defender up his bum
But Earnie was too good, things didn't go the way Geoff planned
And a lovely Koumas through ball sent him goalwards past his man

(Tempo quickens even more [as it would with Koumas appearing!])

Then AJ gets between the ball and goal as Earnshaw shoots
And Earnie couldn't check his stride and the richochet gets caught up underneath his boots
And he looks up
in pained surprise
as the goal he sure he's scored
goes in off the arse of Horsefield
who had fallen on the floor

(Tempo slows to a dirge)

Earnie was only 23, it really made him sick
So now he's gone to make runs in a club where he's first pick
Where the midfield folk can pass it, and boots from the back are banned
And the forwards's life is full of fun in that tippy, tappy land

But the Albion's needs were single fold so they went with Geoff once more
But strange things happened right in front of goal, as he failed, each time, to score
Was that his own side shouting? Or the crowd that he could hear?
Or Earnie's ghostly image shouting "Horsfield! Square it! Here!"?

They won't forget Earnie
Earnieeeeeeeeee
He was more likely to score than all the rest

To the tune of "Can't take my eyes off you":

Artim Sakiri - He scores from corner kicks
Artim Sakiri - He knows that Beckham's s**t
Artim Sakiri - Lobbing Seaman all day

This one did the rounds at the pre-season friendlies, though it's not the most deeply lyrical (to the tune of Pigbag's "Papa's got a brand new Pigbag"):

La, la, la lah! Jason Koumas...
La, la, la lah! Jason Koumas...
La, la, la lah! Jason Koumas...
etc

This one was adopted towards the end of last season as we looked doomed to relegation....

One go down, we all go down
All go down together
Come back up, win the Cup
Kick f**k out the Villa

....however, at the start of the 2003 season, Gary Megson himself asked us to stop singing it as he felt it was rather negative. Peter Hunt suggested the following alternative:

We go up, we all go up
All go up together
We stay up, win the Cup
Wolves go down forever

Still in the charts comes our celebration of "The Battle of Brammall Lane":

There were 11 on the field
And Warnock squealed : 'fall over, fall over'
So they all fell over
and one was sent off

There were 10 on the field
And Warnock squealed: 'fall over, fall over'
So they all fell over
And one was sent off

There were 9 on the field
And Warnock squealed: 'fall over, fall over'
So they all fell over
And one was sent off

There were 8 on the field
And Warnock squealed: 'fall over, fall over'
So they all fell over
And one was sent off

There were 7 on the field
And Warnock squealed: 'fall over, fall over'
So they all fell over
And one was sent off

There were six on the field
And the Albion squealed:
'Neil Warnock
Worra w**ker
Worra w**nker
Neil Warnock.....'

Also new for 2002 was:

Taylor is a turnip
He's got a turnip's head
He took the job at Villa
He must have been brain-dead

'Do I not like this?' and
'Do I not like that?'
But everyone in England knows
He is a f*****g tw*t

...oh, no, hang on - he's gone already, and "O'Leary" doesn't really fit. How times change, though - a few years ago, it was:

Graham Taylor
Graham Taylor
Thanks for f***ing up the Wolves!
Thanks for f*-*-*-**ing up the Wolves

Still lodged in the Baggies Top Ten goes this great one, sung to the tune of "Would you like to swing on a star":

Oh would you like to follow West Brom
Come up the Hawthorns and cheer 'em on
Remember Regis, Astle and Brown
Or would you rather be a clown

(WHAT'S A CLOWN?)

A clown is an Animal who follows the blues
It sits on the Tilton just to watch its team lose
They've got no trophies
They've got no class
They've got Karren Brady and she takes it up the a*se

So If you don't want' to sh*g Brady
come up the Albion with me
Or would you rather be a seal?

(WHAT'S A SEAL?)

A seal is an animal that sits on a rock
It licks its own a*se and it plays with its c*ck
they've got no grace, they've got no style
They've got John Gregory who's a paedophile

So if you don't want to sh*g Gregory
come up the Albion with me
Or would you rather be a wolf?

(WHAT'S A WOLF?)

A wolf is an animal that eats its own sh*t
It don't know how to talk but it knows how to spit
It'll rob your Granny
It'll take her bag
It'll give it to its sister and then take her for a sh*g

So if you don't want to sh*g your family come up the Albion with me

"When the Saints go marching in" is a favourite basis for chants. Here's a couple of our versions:

Sure to make an appearance at Old Trafford is:

My garden shed
Is bigger than this
My garden shed is bigger than this
It's got a door, and a window
My garden shed is bigger than this

...and...

The Molineux
Is full of s**t
The Molineux is full of s**t
It's full of s**t, s**t and more s**t
Molineux is full of s**t

Needless to say, that one is is just one of many chants directed at our local rivals. Here's some more:

To the tune of "The Adams Family":

Your father is your brother,
Your sister is your mother,
You all s**g1 one another,
the dingle family..........

de de de de - clap clap
de de de de - clap clap
etc

1 or f**k, depending on preference

To the tune of "The Great Escape":

Slap a Dingle
Slap a Dingle
Da daaa da daaa da-da-da da daaaa
Slap a Dingle
Slap a Dingle
Cos that's what Dingles are for

To the tune of "My Old Man's a Dustman":

Stevie Bull's a Tatter, he wears a Tatter's hat
He plays for Wolverhampton, and he's a f****g tw*t
He runs down the left wing, he runs down the right
He couldn't score a goal if he played all f*****g night
Ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooh
Stevie Bull's a Tatter (repeat ad infinitum)

For added value, the words "Wanderers" and "Villa" are interchangeable in this one, sung to the the tune of "Roll Out the Barrel":

S**t on the Wanderers, s**t on the Wanderers tonight
S**t on the Wanderers, s**t on the Wanderers tonight
S**t on the Wanderers, s**t on the Wanderers tonight
Everybody s**t on the Wanderers
Cause they're a load - of - shi-i-ite

To the tune of "Cum By Ya":

He wears gold and black, and he's crap
He wears gold and black, and he's crap
He wears gold and black, and he's crap
Ketsbaia is a Dingle tw*t

(OK, so he's been rejected, but there are plenty more to choose from)

This one, sung to the tune of "Winter Wonderland" (I think) seems to change words at regular intervals:

There's only one Gary Megson/Alan Buckley/Ray Harford/Denis Smith/Brian Little etc
One Alan Buckley/Ray Harford/Denis Smith etc
Walking along, singing this song
S*****g on the Wanderers as we go-o-o
S*****g on the Wanderers as we go

To the tune of "Tavern in the Town":

There is a circus in the town
And Barry Fry/Trevor Francis/Stevie Bruce/TBA is the clown
And Karren Brady is a f*****g s**g
And the Blues are going/staying down

To the tune of "Son of my Father" (by Chicory Tip, apparently):

Oh, Wanky Wanky
Wanky Wanky Wanky Wanky Wanderers

Some of the chants single out individual players and are sung up ad down the country by all supporters of all teams in some guise or other. For instance:

Hark now hear
The West Brom sing
A king is born today
And his name is Bobby Taylor
And he's better than Stevie Bull - S**T !

Super, SuperBob
Super, SuperBob
Super, SuperBob
Super Bobby Taylor
Sooooooooooper, SuperBob
Super, SuperBob
etc

One of the old favourites. Not a football song as such, but we sing it anyway and we sing it well:

The Lord's my shepherd
I'll not want
He makes me down to lie
In pastures green
He leadeth me
The quiet waters by

"Go West" was a hit for the Village People back in the Dark Ages and covered by the Pet Shop Boys. It makes one of the simplest Albion chants there is:

Go West, Bromwich Albion
Go West, Bromwich Albion
Go West, Bromwich Albion
Go West, Bromwich Albion
etc
etc

Likewise "Boom Boom Boom" was a recent hit for a couple of black American slapheads called the Outhere Brothers. A simple exchange of words and you end up with the sublime:

Say Boing Boing Boing, everybody say Baggies
BAGGIES!!!

(Just repeat it until the tonsils give in....)